This Divine Retribution
by CommanderBarbie
Summary: Commander Shepard's body is recovered from the ruins of the Citadel in the days following the war. Once again, she will open her eyes to a world changed by destruction. Finding purpose in a time of peace is not easy for the Savior of the Galaxy, but she will realize that even in the calmest of weather, there will always be a storm on the horizon.
1. Prologue

**2165 CE**

"Daddy, tell us a story," a small voice implored.

A sturdy, dark haired man sat in a meadow surrounded by his three children. John Shepard smiled at the smallest, a golden haired girl with the same cornflower eyes he possessed. His eyes moved toward the setting sun, obviously gauging how much time he had before his wife would have dinner on the table. Hannah didn't take kindly to having her dinner grow cold.

"Just a short one," he agreed, grinning. "What do you want to hear about?"

"The First Contact War!" Cried his oldest, thirteen year old Blake, excitedly.

"Princesses!" Inserted the youngest, eight year old Ana.

"What about you, Alex?" He chuckled, glancing at his middle child, eleven years old with a mop of auburn hair that she'd inherited from her maternal grandmother. She looked up from her book thoughtfully.

"I want to know about Earth," she finally said in her serious, quiet voice, surprising John.

"You do?" He asked, both touched and awed. She nodded, grinning and setting her book aside, bringing her knobby little knees up to her chest.

His son scoffed, rolling his eyes. "Earth is _boring,_ Dad!"

"I wanna hear about Princesses," whined Ana. John only smiled, pulling the youngest into his lap and gesturing for Alex to come closer.

"Earth is not boring." He gave his eldest a pointed look, "Your Momma and I were born there in a state called Kansas. That's where we learned to farm. Your Granddad Henry taught me and my brother, your Uncle James—"

"He fought in the First Contact War!" Blake interjected excitedly, sitting on his knees. When his father gave him a warning look, the impish teen did not even have the nerve to look sheepish. He only grinned cheekily.

"He did," John conceded patiently, "Earth was my home." He raised his eyebrows at Blake, "It was _your_ home too, son. Earth is in our blood."

"Is it pretty?" Ana asked, with wide blue eyes. Alex rolled her eyes at this, swiping agitatedly at her unruly red hair.

"What a dumb question," she scowled.

"Parts of it are beautiful," John nodded, "The sunrise coming over the cornfields was like seeing the rays of Heaven touch Earth. There are rainforests with tropical flowers and the brightest colors and in the winter, there's snow. White and sparkling like diamonds. You know the song 'I'm Dreaming of a White Christmas?'"

The children nodded.

"That's what that's about," John continued, "Some of my best memories are me and Uncle Jimmy playing in the snow as kids. Making snow angels."

"It doesn't snow here," Alex sighed, "I want to see snow."

"Someday," John promised her, "When you guys are a little bigger, we'll take a trip back to Earth and you'll see snow. We'll go for Christmas." Her eyebrows rose, but she nodded enthusiastically, giving him a grin and revealing teeth that were just slightly too big for her mouth.

Hannah was practically seething when they returned to the house, just as the light began to slip below the horizon. Her green eyes were blazing as the kids brushed past her, simmering with energy from the walk back.

"Go wash your hands for supper," she instructed, giving her husband a stern glance. John noticed something catch her eye before she stopped Alexandra and attempted to tame the messy mane of fiery hair.

"_Momma!"_ Alex groaned, messing it back up and bounding in the direction her siblings had gone.

"Brush that hair before dinner, Alexandra!" Hannah sighed. "Full of bruises again, I see," she noted, meeting John's blue eyes. He shrugged, reaching for her.

"You know how those two are. Hardly a day goes by where they don't wrestle," he chuckled, pulling her into his arms. She didn't resist, though her eyes were still full of irritation. "Thing is, Blake's been underestimating her. She's gonna beat his ass one of these days."

"_John…"_ Hannah scoffed, but he thought he saw her lips quirk up for a second. "She's such a tomboy, that one."

"Sure is," he agreed proudly. "I'll keep her that way as long as I can. Pretty soon, she's going to grow into her looks and I'm gonna have to sit on the porch with my rifle."

"Chauvinist," She smacked his arm. "Well, you might as well go wash up for dinner too. It's your own fault it's gone cold." She stood on her toes to give him a quick kiss and started back toward the kitchen.

"Hannah," he called after her, making her pause in the doorway, silhouetted by the last of the daylight. "In a few years, I think we should go home for Christmas. Back to Kansas. So the kids can see where we come from. Alex wants to see snow…"

"John…that's money we just don't have," Hannah said sympathetically, "We'd have to start saving now."

"So, let's _do_ it," He urged, crossing to her and taking her shoulders into his hands. "We could visit our parents' graves. You could see your sister. The new baby…Ryan."

"I don't know…" She looked torn, clearly conflicted between being realistic and the need to see her sister Kate. It had been over a decade since she'd last seen her only remaining family. John pouted his lower lip at her, causing her to laugh, despite herself. "Oh, you big baby…_fine. _We'll save up and take the kids home for Christmas." Her green eyes narrowed, "In a few years."

"You're my favorite wife," he grinned, stooping to press his lips to her. She rolled her eyes, but smiled anyway, grabbing him by the collar.

"_Disgusting!"_ Their son's voice came from behind them. They both chuckled, pulling apart and turning to see all three children standing near the stairs. Alex shoved Blake unceremoniously, stalking away from him with Ana close in tow.

"Grow up," She told him, sticking her tongue out at him.

"Very mature," Hannah smirked in amusement, following the girls into the kitchen. "Wash your hands, John!" She added over her shoulder. He stuck his tongue out at her back, winking at his son and ruffling the boy's hair as he moved to clean up for supper.


	2. Chapter 1

_COMMANDER SHEPARD RECOVERED FROM CITADEL RUBBLE BARELY ALIVE_

_May 18, 2186_

_It's been just one week since the Reapers fell thanks to the efforts of the believed dead Spectre, who seemingly sacrificed her life for the good of the galaxy. This reporter is happy to report that early Thursday morning, a search team found the badly wounded Commander buried under a pile of concrete and metal, which had miraculously formed a shelter around her, undoubtedly saving her life. Though she is in critical condition, reps for the Alliance say they are hopeful that she will survive her various wounds. _

_As for the Alliance warship, the S.S.V. Normandy, there is still no word on whether or not the Commander's crew survived the blast of energy after the Crucible was activated. Alliance officials are hopeful for a safe return. _

_In the meantime, we will keep you up to date on news regarding Shepard's condition as details are given to us. Rumor has it that Shepard and Major Kaidan Alenko had been more than friends according to an inside source, though that had never been confirmed by either party. _

* * *

_NORMANDY RECOVERED ON ONE OF THE MOONS OF THEMIS IN ARCTURUS_

_June 28, 2186_

_More cause for celebrations as the lost crew of the Normandy was successfully recovered after managing to patch a connection through to Earth. They returned safely to Earth this morning and are expected to answer press questions. _

_Inside reports tell us that the crew was eager to get to The Mount Sinai Medical Center in New York, where their beloved Commander is currently still in I.C.U. Details about Shepard's condition have been few and far between, but this reporter has to believe that no news is good news. An inside source tells us that Miranda Lawson has been heading the effort to revive the Spectre. _

_As always, we will keep you up to date as details are made available to us. _

* * *

_BRAND NEW APARTMENT COMPLEX IN PHOENIX TO BE CONVERTED TO SHELTER FOR DISPLACED CHILDREN AND FAMILIES_

_September 1, 2186_

_The luxury apartment complex that was originally to be upscale living will now be transformed into a mass shelter for children who have been displaced and orphaned during the war. This sudden change has come thanks to the tireless efforts and funds raised by the second human Spectre, Major Kaidan Alenko, who appealed to the Alliance after seeing the sad overcrowding of group homes and the shortage of foster homes available. This project will provide housing for hundreds of children and families._

_The collaborative team includes Abigail Williams, a young social worker who has received her own acclaim in the past three years, working closely with the Alliance and founding the ALAS Family Foundation. Miranda Lawson, who headed The Lazarus Project, which resurrected Commander Shepard after her 2183 death and Oriana Lawson, a college student and volunteer. _

_Along with Major Alenko, these three ladies have worked tirelessly to improve the lives of countless victims of the war. _

_Though he still will not confirm or deny a relationship with Commander Shepard, inside sources tell us that the Major has been a frequent visitor at The Mount Sinai Medical Center. _

_We can only hope, when the Commander does wake up, the Spectre Sweethearts will decide to go public with their love. _

* * *

**November 10, 2186 CE **

Death had been easy. At least, what she remembered of it had been relatively simple; painless. Life was hard. Life was painful. Shepard was positive she wasn't dead. She heard sounds, she thought, but couldn't make sense of them. They were just muted murmurs that her rattled mind couldn't translate. Sometimes, she dreamed. She saw faces of people both dead and alive. She saw her father, but he was always just out of reach, blue eyes full of love. She yearned to feel his arms around her, enveloping her in his protection. Once, she'd just been a simple little farm girl who loved to wear her older brother's tattered hand me downs and listen to the timbre of her father's smooth tenor as he told them stories about Earth.

Now she was…well, she wasn't sure what she was, or even _where_ she was. All that she was certain of was that she was stuck in between the living and the dead.

Purgatory in the literal sense of the word.

There were times when she imagined people were talking to her; she often felt the sensation of a warm hand covering her own. Old Maggie, a neighbor of theirs back on Mindoir, used to say that when you die, you sleep for seven years. Maybe this was that. She didn't think so…because sometimes, she felt like she was close to the surface, just a hair's breadth away from waking. Still, her eyes remained closed.

Would she wake up fifty thousand years in the future like Javik had? Had it only been a few minutes? Hours? Shepard wasn't sure, but there was no way to tell how much time had passed. It felt both like seconds and years.

"You can't stay here, Al," A voice came from behind her. Behind? Was she standing somewhere? Turning around, she saw her father.

The dream again.

"Where am I?" She asked him, looking down at herself and realizing she was dressed in her old jeans and flannel shirt from home. Her auburn hair was pulled into two braids.

"Here," was his only answer, though he was smiling. "But you can't stay, Kiddo."

"Am I dead?" Her voice was younger; higher in pitch. John Shepard shook his head.

"No." He smiled at her. "But you do have a choice, Alex. You can follow me, or…"

"Or?"

He pointed down what looked like a dark tunnel with a sliver of light shining at the end. "Or you can go back."

"Have I been here before, Dad?" She looked around, feeling an odd sense of Déjà vu.

"Yeah, you've been here before," he told her, smiling warmly and moving closer to her.

"I miss you," she confessed, feeling very small. He pulled her into his arms, holding her. She inhaled deeply, feeling the sudden burn of unshed tears. He smelled just like she remembered. He smelled like soap and aftershave and freshly mowed grass.

"I miss you too, Kid," He told her, kissing the crown of her head. "But I don't think it's your time."

"I'm not ready," she agreed, letting her eyes overflow, wetting the front of his shirt.

"You still have work to do, Alex," John told her, pulling back to look down at her. "You won the war, but you haven't finished your journey."

"What do you mean…?" He let go of her and backed away from her.

"Go find out," He nodded toward the sliver of blinding light. "We'll be waiting when you're done."

Before her eyes, he began to fade. "No!" She cried, reaching out for him. "Don't go! Don't _leave_ me, Dad! _Dad!"_

But he was gone.

Defeated, she turned back toward the light, inching curiously toward it. She wasn't sure what she would find there, but she felt like it was where she needed to go. Once again, she heard the muted sounds from before, though this time, she understood them.

"Heart rate has increased," A male voice said. "Brain activity is picking up."

"She's waking up," A familiar female resonance responded. "Please contact Major Alenko."

"Is she…is everything normal?"

"We can't know until we can speak with her," The female answered calmly, "Shepard, if you can hear me, I need you to try and open your eyes."

It clicked.

_Miranda._

Shepard willed her eyes to open, though nothing happened immediately, there was a sharp gasp from the other person in the room. "She's trying!" _Joker._ A swell of guilt, directly followed by grief filled her as she remembered that EDI had been a necessary sacrifice in the decision to destroy the Reapers.

"The sedation may take some time to wear off," Miranda told him, "But, I think it's safe to say she'll be awake within the half hour." Shepard heard the click of heels on the hard aluminum floor. "I'm going to contact Dr. T'Soni. Will you stay with her in case she comes to?"

"'Course," He agreed. Shepard heard the sound of a chair being dragged closer to wherever she was. She felt her hand being lifted into both of his. "Alright, Commander," Joker's voice was hoarse, full of exhaustion, "Here's the deal. I'm gonna need you to wake up pronto, because I've got money riding on this…Garrus said it'd take you two days to wake up after they took you off sedation. I said twenty-four hours. I could really use the credits though. There's a new Asari porno I've got my eye on..."

"Pervert…" Shepard heard herself say, though it came out more as a broken rasp than an actual utterance. Joker let out a sharp cry of surprise, but his hands tightened on hers.

"Holy shit! Warn a guy before you decide to just blurt it out like that!" He panted. "I think I pissed myself." Slowly, she tried opening an eye and winced at the blinding fluorescents above.

"Bright…" She murmured, squeezing them closed again.

"Here," he said, carefully lifting her head and putting something on it, shadowing her eyes.

Trying again, she realized Joker had put his hat on her head, shielding her eyes from the harsh lights of the hospital room. Gradually, the bleary images surrounding her came into focus and she could see his bearded face hovering above her own.

Life was definitely harder.

"You have _got_ to stop doing this to me," He chuckled, patting her scarred hand. "Welcome back, Commander."

"I'm so sorry…" She told him brokenly. His brows furrowed in bemusement.

"Sorry…?" He asked slowly, "For…? Saving all our asses? Nearly dying? I don't really catch your meaning, Ma'am."

"EDI." It was barely a whisper, but the slight widening of light green eyes and the subsequent stunned expression on his face indicated that he'd heard her loud and clear.

"Shepard, _don't…"_ He pleaded warningly. "EDI knew it could happen. _I_ knew…we prepared for it…said our goodbyes." He turned away for a moment, roughly running a hand through his dark hair, which was slightly overgrown and curling a little. "Doesn't make losing her suck any less, but…I don't blame you. And EDI wouldn't either. She loved you."

"Yeah," Shepard whispered, staring straight ahead. "Doesn't make me feel any better though."

"Well kid," he gave a dry, humorless chuckle, "I guess that's just tough shit."

"Please tell me I haven't lost another two years," She groaned, tentatively lifting the hand that wasn't bound down by needles and tubes.

"Five months," he replied in a hollow tone, still looking away from her. "After they dragged you out of the rubble, it was…there was a lot of damage. You shouldn't have survived."

"I didn't intend to," she confessed, earning a scowl from him.

"That's _not_ fucking funny, Shep." His tone was harsh, but his eyes betrayed him. They were glittering dangerously in the light. His face was drawn, the boyish features shadowed with a few new stress lines around his eyes. He glared down at her. "When they pulled you out of there – _Jack _found you – you were so _broken_ that they weren't even sure how your heart was beating. You'd lost so much blood. Your leg was shattered. Your skin was charred, and what _wasn't_ was partially melted into your skin. So yeah," he huffed, "You were in _bad_ shape, Commander. But, Jack said you were talking. Incoherent babbling, but she said you kept saying, 'Let me go.' Does that mean anything to you?"

Shepard chose not to answer this, instead staring blankly at him.

"You were in shock," he continued, angrily, "Teeth chattering. Luckily, Miranda was in the vicinity…you've been in an induced coma since."

"Jesus…" She sighed.

"Damn right…" He shook his head. "Meanwhile, we crash on Thallo, one of the moons of Themis. It's beautiful there…warm, you know? And all I can think is, God damn it, I wish EDI and Shep were here."

"You crashed?" Shepard heard herself ask, trying to lift her head.

His only response was, "Yeah," though he would say no more on the subject.

"Where is Kaidan?" She inquired, deciding it was best to change topics.

"Well, since you've been outta commission, Alenko's kind of had to pick up the slack on the human Spectre front." Joker finally met her eyes. "Once we got back and he saw you, he decided to help try to find survivors and bring them in. He's been working with Miranda to save all the little children."

"Wait…_Kaidan…_and _Miranda_? Working together?" Shepard tried to chuckle, but her ribs protested. "I don't think they ever had a conversation before…"

"Yeah, well…they talk all the time now," He muttered. "We were deserted for about a month until they got some work done on the relays. Hackett finally got through to us and they sent help. The Normandy was in bad shape. Luckily we were just through the Charon Relay. That's when we found out you were still…"

"Yeah," Shepard finished for him. "I'm like Herpes. I just keep coming back."

This finally drew a subtle, but genuine smirk out of him as he snatched his hat back and replaced it on his head. "Nice one, Shep."

"You think? Maybe I could be a comedian," She sighed, feeling the slightest touch better.

"As long as you're not a dancer, I think you'll be okay," he teased, hooking his thumbs through his belt loops. "Never been so happy to look at a wall and _not_ see your name on it." He was referring to the memorial wall on the Normandy. "That wall is too full as it is."

"Agreed," Shepard sighed. Both of them reacted as her stomach gave an audible grumble. "Guess I should ring for lunch. It's been five months…"

"Oh God, just _wait_ till Liara hears you're up," Joker gave a low chuckle, "There will be bouncing…if we can get ahold of her."

"What do you mean?" Shepard stared at him in confusion.

"Once we got off the island, so to speak, she kind of fell off the grid." He raised a brow. "She'll check in from time to time, but no one really knows where she's been." Shepard tried to sit up a little, gesturing for him to give her a hand. He gave her a skeptical look, but complied, shoving an extra pillow under her head.

"Do you think she's doing the Shadow Broker thing again?"

"I don't know…but you know how she is. She likes her secrets."

"That she does," Alex nodded fondly, "I wonder if—" She cut off at the sound of heels on the tiled floor, followed immediately by a perfectly sculptured silhouette in the doorway.

"How are you feeling, Shepard?" Miranda's elegantly accented voice came from the doorway.

"I'm a little hungry," Shepard admitted, winking at Joker, who rolled his eyes.

"Yes, I suppose a feeding tube won't cut it anymore," Miranda smiled kindly, moving closer. "You're looking well, considering what…well, how much damage you'd suffered."

"Thanks for taking care of me."

"Oh, I'm not the one to thank. Jack was the one who found you and got you to me…it's all a credit to her loyalty and determination that you made it to the hospital in one piece." Miranda's voice was full of respect for her sometimes enemy. As much as the two women claimed to clash, Shepard had seen their affection for one another. Hopefully, it would lead to a long friendship.

"Kaidan is – that is, _Major Alenko_ – is on his way here from the Council meeting. All of the mass relays are now back up and running," she explained, "He's…eager to see you." Miranda gave Shepard a small smile, reaching out to touch her hand. "I just want you to know…I'm so glad you're going to be alright. Kaidan will be so thrilled." Shepard managed a smile in reply.

"I hear you two have been getting along." She snickered a little when Miranda's eyes widened in shock, before settling on Joker.

"Well, you _have…_" He reminded her. "What does Williams call you two? Mr. and Mrs. Perfect?"

"Williams?" Now Shepard was intrigued.

"Abigail Williams, the Alliance Coordinator for displaced children," Miranda explained, "She and I met during the war, while I was trying to get in the Alliance's good graces. I believe you knew her sister, Ashley. Major Alenko volunteered himself to help us once he'd seen to it that you were well taken care of. It is a credit to the Major and to Miss Williams that so many children are now safe with a roof over their heads. He's used his influence as a Spectre to have a brand new apartment complex in Phoenix converted into a children's home. We're working to possibly add more."

"Wow…that's impressive," Shepard acknowledged, feeling a surge of pride. "If anyone could accomplish something like that, it's Kaidan. And you," she added, nodding at Miranda. "Sounds like you make a good team."

"He was hesitant at first…" Miranda confessed.

Joker chuckled. "By that, she means that they basically snapped at each other about Cerberus and Horizon and whose ass was bubblier."

"Joker…" Shepard groaned warningly. "I may be pinned to this bed by needles and tubes, but I _will_ find a way to kick your ass." She met Miranda's blue eyes. "But I think Kaidan may have you beat."

Miranda's face was a hilarious shade of pink. "I…also got hold of Dr. T'Soni. She left me an email address. She's informed me that she is on her way."

"Where is she?" Shepard inquired, curiously.

"She did not specify. Only that she was off-planet and would be arriving within a few days."

"Off-planet?" Shepard's eyebrows rose in surprise.

"If I remember correctly, she mentioned something about spending time on Mars with Javik," Miranda added.

"_Javik?"_ Came two simultaneous replies.

"Oh shit, that's right!" Shepard exclaimed, "Javik told me he was going to write a book with Liara. They must be doing research in the Prothean Archives."

"Or what's left of them," Joker muttered. The sound of shouting in the hall got their attention as they all turned to look.

"…Major Alenko! Is it true that Commander Shepard is awake?"

"What does that mean for you two?"

"Is there any merit to the rumor that she's completely paralyzed?"

A tall figure bounded into the room, turning only long enough to instruct two guards to keep the halls clear. Closing the door behind him, Kaidan finally turned to see three pairs of eyes watching him expectantly. "I got here as soon as I could…" He explained to Miranda apologetically.

Joker stood up, adjusting his hat and sighing. "Well, I should…I better go," he told them. "Thanks for winning me some creds, Commander. Garrus is gonna be pissed."

"Joker—"

"I'll check in soon," He promised, clapping Kaidan on the shoulder, "That Asari porn isn't going to watch itself." Miranda made a noise of disgust, but Shepard and Kaidan simply shook their heads in amusement.

"Take care, Joker," Kaidan told him sincerely.

"You too, Major." Then he was gone and Kaidan's amber eyes were on her, imploring and full of unshed tears.

"I'll give you some privacy," Miranda said quietly, starting toward the door.

"Thank you, Miranda," Shepard told her. "For everything."

The woman said nothing in response, but nodded, leaving swiftly and closing the door behind her. At once, Kaidan was perched beside the bed on the chair, holding her hand between his. He silently bowed his head, pressing her knuckles to his cheek.

"Thank God…" he finally murmured. "Thank God."

"It's gonna be okay," She told him, swallowing the lump in her throat. "We're okay…right?"

"Yeah," he breathed, looking up, "We're okay. I was so…when we thought you were dead…when _I _thought you were dead—" He stopped talking, just staring at her with furrowed brows and shaking his head.

"I'm not dead," She reminded him, "And I'm not going anywhere."

"I love you," He told her, meaningfully. "I need you to know that."

"I _do_ know that, Kaidan," Shepard laughed, despite her own conspicuously burning eyes, "I thought we covered that…unless you were just messing with me." He swallowed. "I'm kidding," she told him, cupping his cheek. "I love you too, you know."

"I don't deserve you," he told her, pressing a kiss to her palm. "I never have."

"Look, Kaidan. I love you, but this brooding teen romance hero angst doesn't become you," She grinned at him. "And if anyone deserves to be happy…it's you."

Careful not to hurt her, he leaned over her and pressed a gentle kiss to her lips.

* * *

**Yeah...so, um...yeah.  
**

**Feedback is appreciated, though not required. I tried.**


	3. Chapter 2

_COMMANDER SHEPARD REPORTEDLY AWAKE_

_We've just be informed by a source in the Mount Sinai Medical Center that Commander Shepard, Savior of the Galaxy has finally woken up after five months in a coma. Though we don't have any details on her current condition or prognosis, we can only deduce that this is another victory for the Spectre. _

_We've also been receiving reports that a man has been spending all of his time at her bedside. Could this, perhaps be the handsome Major Alenko, Shepard's secret love?_

_Will we see the Spectre Sweethearts go public at long last? We predict yes! _

_We will continue to give you more details when they become available. _

* * *

**Prothean Archives, Mars**

Liara was tired. She was hungry, cold and in a terrible mood. Truth be told, she hated Mars. It was dusty, dark and dull. The only appeal it held for her was the Prothean Archives. Perhaps she should have waited longer before starting research on her book, but Javik had been anxious to come and see what his people had left behind. In the beginning, it had been thrilling, coming to this small, red planet and having an actual Prothean with her to translate the information from the archives.

Pouring themselves into research had provided a welcome escape from Shepard's grim condition and had allowed Liara to set up a more stable Shadow Broker base within walking distance of the archives. Javik was stoic as ever, even after seeing Shepard's broken body in the hospital. He'd given little more than a grunt, had made a comment that Shepard 'shouldn't have allowed herself to be put in this condition,' and had left the room swiftly. Liara suspected he felt more than he'd let on, but old habits and all that.

As for her, she'd kept her emotions in check, doing a quick, but gentle examination of the unconscious commander. The heartbeat seemed promising. At least she wasn't dead this time. It wasn't until she'd been on a starship headed off-planet that she'd allowed herself to cry, both tears of worry and relief. Shepard was the closest person to her. Liara was not used to having friends, having spent the better part of a century avoiding people and hiding behind Prothean research. But to think that her closest friend, her truest ally had nearly been killed…_again_. It was nearly too much for her to bear.

But there had been things she needed to attend to after seeing Shepard. There was a loose end that she needed to take care of, before joining Javik on Mars to start writing their book. And she had.

As the weeks had worn on, however, her body had caught up with her; a foolish underestimation on her part.

"…our sole purpose was to protect the _Felamme'_," Javik was saying, showing her the entry. "_Felamme _means emperor…or, perhaps more accurately, dictator. The most important person in the empire."

Liara stared, unseeing, at the holographic image of the proud Prothean flanked by two smaller, slighter bodies. Probably female. Her vision swam and she could taste bile.

"Dr. T'Soni?" Javik's inquiry was sharp like a sword. She shook her head slightly, bringing her hand up to her mouth, praying its presence there would will her stomach to settle. Her skin was damp with a sheen of sweat. "_Liara!"_ He snapped at her. Her eyes met his apologetically.

"I'm so sorry," she whispered, before turning away and barely making it to the waste compartment before she was casting up her lunch. Defeated, she slumped to the ground, pressing her head against the cool metal of the wall and concentrating on breathing. A shadow settled over her, making her look sheepishly up at Javik, whose arms were crossed over his chest in a very human, very disapproving way.

"Time to reveal your little secret, Asari," he told her impatiently.

Her eyes widened, but she managed not to flinch. "I beg your pardon! I do not have—"

"You forget," he crouched in front of her, "I can read your D.N.A. You are with child. I have known for weeks."

Liara let out a groan, covering her face with her hands, mortified. "Please tell me that's all you know."

"You know," he began, holding a hand out to her and helping her to her feet, giving her a reproachful glance, "In my cycle, interspecies breeding would have been punishable by death."

"So you've said," Liara muttered, glancing around for Glyph, who was organizing some timeline data for her in the corner. Thankfully, Javik said nothing else on the matter and the two went back to recounting data.

"Dr. T'Soni," Glyph's voice interrupted her train of thought, bringing her focus once again away from her research, "You have received a Private Message from Miranda Lawson."

"Thank you, Glyph," Liara told it, opening her messages on her Omni-tool.

"It must be about Shepard," Javik mused, joining her nosily. She gave him a resigned look and made sure he could see the message.

_Liara, _

_Shepard is awake. I thought you should know. She'll want to see you._

_Miranda Lawson_

Liara's mind was racing. Too many emotions were rushing through her mind, making her lose her focus on the matter at hand. Javik murmured something that Liara did not quite understand, but it sounded Prothean. It also sounded like he was relieved.

She quickly responded that she would be there as soon as possible.

"Will you come?" She queried Javik, closing her messages and checking the time. They'd been at this for nine hours without a break. No wonder she felt sick. She was _starving._ Her mother hadn't told her much about being pregnant, but it didn't take much to figure out that unborn children needed sustenance. A human cheeseburger sounded divine. Or maybe some of James' _huevos rancheros._

"I cannot expect you to journey alone," Javik told her in a clipped voice, "You would not last an hour."

"You do recall going on missions with me, correct?" Liara pointed out, gathering her things and directing Glyph back to her new base.

"Irrelevant," he brushed her off, "You are as a child…you are fragile, and in my cycle, to allow a female who was with child to travel alone was punishable by—"

"Let me guess. Death." She rolled her eyes.

"Yes. How did you know?" He blinked at her, four eyes narrowed.

"Javik," she tried to keep the humor out of her voice, "_Everything_ in your cycle was punishable by death."

"Are you mocking me?" He sulked, glaring at her. She took pity on him, patting his shoulder.

"Only a little," she assured him. "Come on; let's go eat before we head to the shuttle station."

"Everything in my cycle was _not_ punishable by death," he grumbled, following her.

The message terminal was blinking when they reached her base. Javik headed to the meager kitchen to find food while Liara attended to it.

_Liara, _

_I hope this message finds you well. I have finished gathering the information you needed from Ilos and will be en route to Mars in the morning. I hope Javik isn't giving you too much trouble…tell him I have goodies for him too. _

_I'm really looking forward to getting back to base. I forgot how lonely this hunk of metal can get. _

_Be well. _

_Feron_

_P.S. Give Droney my love. _

Liara swallowed quickly and shot back a response, informing Feron that she would be traveling to Earth with Javik and that Shepard was awake. For a second, she was torn between going to Shepard and waiting to see Feron return safely, but he knew what he was doing. And he'd understand.

She had to go to Shepard.

* * *

**Rannoch**

Garrus was still surprised at how picturesque Rannoch was. Growing up on Palaven had been humid and almost tropical in places, but on the beaches of this planet, he was astounded by the color, especially near the water. Pink and orange. Though there was water, the air was dry. Even the sky was pink. The plants were red, rather than the lush green of Earth.

After they'd all seen to Shepard, he and Tali had decided to separate temporarily to attend to their own familial matters. Garrus had returned to Palaven to bury his father, who had fallen in the final battle. His sister would not speak to him, too consumed with grief and resentment against the brother who had lured their father back into military service after a successful career with C-Sec. Garrus knew Solana blamed him. After they'd lost their mother the previous year to a battle with Corpalis Syndrome, their father became the only family they had left alive. She had pleaded with him not to join the effort against the Reapers, but anyone who had known Garrus' father, had known he would feel fighting Reapers was the right thing to do. Even if Garrus had begged him not to go, he would have done so anyway.

Tali, meanwhile, had returned here to unite with the Admiralty Board and begin rebuilding their home. Garrus knew Tali was mourning the loss of the Geth, along with everything else, though she said that it would not affect the Quarians' immune systems with them gone. The upgrades to their suits would prevail and their immune systems would continue to develop. Some Quarians had already begun going without a mask at times, which was a little disconcerting to Garrus. They looked quite different than he'd imagined…similar, in a distant way, to Turians.

Tali had been reluctant to take her mask off, despite his reassurance that it didn't matter to him so long as she was happy. Though, truth be told, he'd love to see her face and be able to at least kiss her. He was pure shit at this romance stuff, but he figured he'd stumble his way around until she told him what he was doing wrong…or dumped him. One of the two. The words "Turian" and "Romance" weren't often put into the same sentence. Most marriages were arranged by the parents, often for the unification of troops and, less often, for military bloodlines. The first lesson they were taught is that all solutions must be for "the good of all". Maybe that made Garrus selfish, but he couldn't imagine having caved to his parents' whims and marrying Alshia, the female they'd chosen for him, when he'd finished military training.

It would have changed everything.

And now there was Tali. If someone had told Garrus four years before that he would fall for a Quarian, he would have had a damn good laugh. The scrappy little girl behind the mask had grown on him though, slowly creeping her way into his life and his heart, and by the time they'd gone after the Collectors, Garrus' main goal was to hear her squeal of excitement when he found her some Turian chocolate…or shared a bottle of Turian booze with her.

She'd been wandering aimlessly around the ship after her acquittal of treason, grieving her father and piss drunk. She'd wandered into the Main Battery, carrying a half empty bottle of Turian brandy with her; he'd recognized it as the bottle he'd hidden in a vent down in the mess. He'd listened to her cry about her father (partially because he wasn't sure how to handle crying women, so he just kept his mouth shut). On the up side, she'd stopped being so snarky with him when he tried to joke around with her.

They had made it a routine, sitting together in the Main Battery after most of the crew had gone off to bed and talked about everything from guns (yes, calibrations) to the ridiculous vid she loved; _Fleet and Flotilla, _a scarily relevant Turian and Quarian love story. Somehow, she'd wheedled a promise out of him to watch it with her…though they still hadn't had the chance.

It was strange enough not to be wearing armor for once, without his visor and, especially without his gun…well, without the _visible_ gun anyway. He still wasn't quite ready to relax after three years of constant tension. Which brought him to his current task…shooting rocks to pass the time until Tali met him after finally taking a much needed leave of absence. It had been a long four months for both of them.

Shepard had been taken off of sedation just after midnight Earth's EST time, and Garrus had bet Joker that it would take her two days to wake up. Of course, Joker had taken that bet and had countered that she'd be awake within the day. Really, Garrus didn't care, so long as Shepard _did_ wake up and could start barking orders again like old times. Maybe go on a run or two…she _was_ still a Spectre after all.

Garrus got on a roll and shot four rocks in a row before his gun jammed. Cursing under his breath, he removed the ammo and did a quick check, before reloading again and aiming once more. This time, it shot and the fifth rock became little more than gravel.

"Still at it, I see…" A distinctly feminine voice startled him, making him whirl around and point the gun at the stranger.

An unmasked Quarian; the first he'd seen up close. Her skin was comprised of varying shades of pink to mauve to startling fuschia. Her delicate face was frame by three pointed augmentations, which looked somewhat similar to the cartilage crests of an Asari. At the back of her head was not hair in the same sense as humans, but almost translucent filaments which were pulled back and bound. Full, bow shaped lips sat below a tiny slip of a nose, but the most startling feature had to be the eyes. Those eyes that had seemed to glow of their own accord behind masks were almost identical to Turian eyes, save for the exotic shape framed by long, dark lashes. She was stunning.

"I, uh…didn't know anyone was around," Garrus finally managed to utter, sheepishly lowering his gun. The Quarian cocked her head at him, an amused smile playing at her lips.

"Yes, I'm supposed to meet someone here." Her voice was light, reminding him of air. She watched him in amusement.

"Oh, I…uh, me too…" He confessed. If he'd been a human, he'd probably be bright red. Thank the Spirits for small favors.

"I _know,_ Garrus," she laughed, shaking her head at him. "Don't you want to hear about my immune system?"

Garrus blinked at her, unregistering for a moment until reality dawned on him. This unmasked Quarian _was_ Tali. His eyes focused on the familiar fabric of her suit, lingering on the wide, curving hips for a moment, before dragging his eyes back to her face…that face that was too lovely to be real.

"Tali…" He drawled, slowly shaking his head in disbelief as she moved toward him with the lithe grace of a cat. "How…?"

"My immune system is strong enough to start weaning me off of the suit," she explained happily, taking his hand in hers and twining their fingers. "I wanted you to be the first to see." She nodded toward her luggage. "I will still have to wear the hood and mask most of the time, but the doctors have suggested going one to two hours a day to start without the mask. We'll work our way month by month and, hopefully by next year, I will be able to live without the suit."

"You're so…" The Turian trailed off, at a loss for words, but her golden irises were warm, brightening with her smile.

"Thanks," she looked down shyly, taking his other hand.

"So are you officially on vacation?" He asked, gathering his wits and blinking until he could focus on something other than the woman in his arms.

"Yes," she breathed, "I am as free as the dust in the solar wind…"

"Solar wind…?" Garrus frowned in confusion, looking around for any sign of wind. Nothing. Tali sighed, chuckling.

"A reminder that you owe me a proper date, Vakarian…besides fooling around in the Main Battery of the Normandy, that is." She winked at him. "It's a quote from _Fleet and Flotilla."_

"Ah." He nodded blankly, unhearing as he tried not to stare too longingly at her lips. They both fell silent looking awkwardly down at their feet, each unsure of how to proceed at this point.

Garrus could practically hear Shepard's voice in his ear.

_Vakarian, you've taken down everything from Husks to Banshees to Geth…you're not going to let a little Quarian girl scare you. You're fucking Archangel. Man up and kiss the poor girl!_

"Tali…" He began again, clearing his throat. She looked up hopefully, locking his eyes with that glowing golden gaze of hers. "Spirits, you're beautiful." With that, he pulled her toward him by the waist, stooping down and taking her mouth with his. Tali sighed into him, standing on her toes and wrapping her arms around his neck. It was surprisingly easier than Garrus had anticipated. He shocked himself when he lifted her slight form off of her feet, holding her at his level and taking pride in the sound of delight she made when he did.

"Sorry I'm so short," she giggled when he finally set her back down, chucking her under the chin with the crook of his finger.

"I'm okay with that," he assured her. Both of their eyes widened when Garrus' Omni-tool alerted him of a new message. Quickly, he opened it, holding his breath as he scanned the words.

_Garrus,_

_Awake. 12:07 P.M. EST._

_Love and Hugs…_

_Joker_

_XOXOXO_

_P.S. Give Tali a kiss for me. Use tongue. _

Garrus rolled his eyes.

"What is it?" Tali asked, eyes wide with curiosity. He sighed, closing the Omni-tool and turning to her with a resigned look.

"It means I owe Joker money. Bastard." At her confused look, he added, "Come on, we'd better get going or we'll miss our flight."

* * *

**November 11, 2186, 7:36 A.M. EST**

There were many things Joker wasn't proud of. He wasn't proud that he'd left for flight school on bad terms with his mother. He wasn't proud that the next time he'd seen his mother _after_ leaving Arcturus for flight school, she'd been in a coffin. He wasn't proud that for the first year of his sister Hilary's life, he'd refused to see her because he was still upset over his parents' divorce three years prior.

He wasn't proud that his inherent stubbornness had killed one of the most important people in his life.

But right now…Joker was pretty damned proud of himself.

He'd not only managed to snag the hottest woman in the bar, but then proceeded to bring her to his apartment and spend a glorious six hours with her. Naked. Without breaking a bone. (Granted, they hadn't gone at it for the _entire _six hours; there had been sleeping involved, but six hours was six hours.)

Yep, he was deliriously proud of himself.

So, why did he still feel so shitty?

Ever since the crash and losing EDI; losing Shep, he'd been in a rut he couldn't seem to dig his way out of. When he sat still, he thought about EDI's lithe, robotic form slumped forward in the co-pilot chair, left as nothing more than a useless hunk of metal. The low alto of her voice had vanished into oblivion right in the middle of arguing with him about their chances of making it safely through the Charon Relay.

He thought about leaving Shepard stranded on the Citadel when he'd been forced to leave to save the ship and the rest of the crew. Accusing green eyes had haunted his nightmares for days on end after the crash.

"_You should have stayed…" _She always told him, shaking her head sadly. _"You killed me again." _ Then would come the fleeting, horrifying images of her drifting away from his escape pod, suffocating in her own suit, dying before his eyes.

All because he couldn't let go of a ship.

And then, miraculously, Traynor had put those Comm Specialist skills to use and, with Tali's help, they'd rebuilt the communication system wire by wire and had finally patched a connection through to the Alliance and help had come for them.

And mercifully, by some twist of fate or maybe just sheer, dumb luck, Shepard had lived. She was in a coma, still in questionable condition, but her heart was beating. She was not dead. Even though it didn't change the fact that EDI would never know how much he'd miss her, all was not lost.

Shepard was all he had left.

Their commander had looked incredibly small and…_human_…lying in that hospital bed with tubes stuck in her mouth and arms. Her left leg was bound up in a cast; something Joker was all too familiar with. Her auburn hair was ragged and messy and resting against the pillow like wilted party streamers. Its usual shine was muted and dirty and she had grotesque green-yellow bruises around her eye and delicate cheekbone.

Kaidan had thrown himself into work, wanting to distract himself from the pain of seeing the woman he loved in that condition. He'd devoted his time to saving homeless children, probably hoping that by the time he was finished, Shepard would wake up and everything could be unicorns and rainbows for them again. Joker understood, hell, he even respected what Kaidan was doing for those kids, but he of all people recognized when someone was distracting themselves from harsh reality.

Joker devoted every second of free time he could allow to sitting in that hospital room, watching his commanding officer sleep, wishing she'd open her eyes and throw some sass at him. He _owed_ her that much; staying with her after abandoning her to be crushed by debris on the decrepit Citadel. He talked to her, immersing himself into one-sided conversation with her; telling her about the progress on the Normandy; about Liara's sudden disappearance and then subsequent return just after they'd landed on Earth; about Garrus planning to go to Rannoch with Tali. Most of the time, however, he just begged her to be okay.

Finally, after four months, Miranda had deemed Shepard's progress a success and had decided to wean her off of sedation. It had taken twelve hours, but it had happened. Eyelids had opened, revealing startling green irises, and Shepard had returned.

And so had Kaidan. Undoubtedly to pick up where they'd left off.

Which was great, because if anyone deserved Shep, it had to be Kaidan. He'd loved her for years and, on top of it all, he was a good guy.

So why were things weird now?

It wasn't like Joker could resent the man who had used his influence as a Spectre to shelter hundreds of children and families. Kaidan was his friend; one of few people he considered so. And it wasn't like he was _jealous_ of Kaidan.

Was he?

No. No way…he was still reeling from losing EDI and still had no word on his sister Hilary, and he was simply clinging to the only thing he hadn't lost in the past year. What he _needed_, was to get laid. Which he'd done, and quite well if he was being honest. At least, Brittany had seemed to enjoy it. Or was it Tiffany? Or Chelsea?

It didn't really matter; the blonde probably couldn't read above a tenth grade level.

He'd never see her again anyway.


	4. Chapter 3

Shepard was in a _shitty_ mood. It had been nearly a whole day since she'd woken up and the reality of the situation was sinking in…along with boredom. First of all, even though the bones in her leg were healed, she had to have physical therapy to regain strength in her muscles, especially because she had essentially been unconscious for five months. Kaidan had also informed her that they were all getting a Star of Terra and Shepard would additionally receive a Platinum Heart medal, of which only two had ever been given out in cycle history.

None of which Shepard wanted.

She remembered getting her first Star of Terra and hating every minute of the shaking hands with strangers, taking pictures and having people stopping her on the street because they recognized her "from the vids". Plus, there was the added thrill of having reporters thrusting a microphone into her face like it was a goddamn food sample. She was half tempted to try and bite one, just to see what they'd do. Hell, if they thought she was crazy, maybe they'd leave her alone. This time would be worse. Compared to the Reapers, the Skillian Blitz was a fucking tea party.

Her body ached. Not from her wounds, really, because technically, _those _were healed. She was just _sore_ all over from lying still for months. Shepard had always been a very active person, even when she was just a kid. She'd never been able to sit still for more than a few minutes, because she was her father's daughter. John Shepard had always said, "If you don't have anything to do, you go out and find something to do." Lying around the house was never an option…especially on a farm. If you were bored, you were given chores to do. Her brother and sister had not been fans of that rule, but Shepard had never really minded…though getting up at the crack of dawn had never been her favorite thing to do. Not until she'd discovered the blissful taste of black coffee at the ripe old age of eighteen.

She'd kill for a coffee right now. She stared precariously at the Styrofoam cup of orange juice and the plate of hospital breakfast food; two sad little sausage links, some meager scrambled eggs and wheat toast. No jelly. No butter. What was even the point?

"Thanks for the cardboard…" She grumbled to herself, taking a bite out of the dried out slice of bread. A knock on the door made her drop the toast and nearly jump out of her skin.

"Excuse me, I'm looking for the crazy ass bitch who took out the mother-fucking Reapers," Jack said, grinning and stepping into the room. Shepard snorted at her, eyeing Jack's choice of outfit today. A leather jacket with a leather push up bra underneath. She wore skin tight black pants with combat boots. Her hair was pulled back, as per usual.

"'Fraid you'll be disappointed," Shepard laughed, "Today, she can't even tackle hospital food." Nodding toward the soggy scrambled eggs, she made a face.

"Oh, fuck that shit," Jack agreed, flopping down into the chair and sitting forward with her hands on her knees. "They're supposed to be healing you, not trying to kill you by food poisoning. I can bitch at the cheerleader if you want."

Shepard chuckled, shaking her head. "No…it's not Miranda's fault. I'll live. I could just _really _go for a strong black coffee and maybe a chocolate bar."

"Breakfast of champions," Jack agreed wryly. "Princess Bitchface said you were up, but I had to come see for myself. You really refuse to die, don't you?"

"Yeah," Shepard replied with a mouth full of soggy egg, "I couldn't bear the thought of never tasting hospital food again." She met the other woman's dark, makeup smudge eyes. Jack looked exhausted, and it was clear that she was wearing yesterday's makeup. "You look like hell," she told her. Jack's eyes flashed indignantly.

"Fuck _you,_" She snapped, though she grinned a little, "Have you looked in a mirror? I shoulda brought my clippers for that Raggedy Ann mop on your head."

"Don't remind me," Shepard groaned, glancing at her reflection in the window. Her red hair hung past her shoulders in limp, sad waves. The auburn was muted, most likely from the fact that she hadn't had an actual shower since the middle of June. "I uh…listen," She began awkwardly, setting her fork aside, "Jack…thank you…ya know, for pulling me out—"

"Oh, _shut_ up," The other woman rolled her eyes, "Don't go all Kumbaya on me, bitch. What the hell did you think I'd do, _leave _you there? You helped me blow Pragia to hell. I owe you…and you did just save all our asses. So, just shut the fuck up."

"I love you too, Jack," Shepard smirked.

"I swear to God, I am not afraid to punch a wounded woman," Jack returned moodily, making Shepard laugh out loud.

"Oh please," she retorted, "Since when do _you_ believe in God?"

"Yeah," she agreed staring at the ground, lost in thought for a moment. Shepard frowned, recognizing that look. It had been the lost little girl look on her face after Pragia.

"What's up, Jack?" Shepard eyed her suspiciously.

"Nothing!" The woman answered acidly, "Jesus Christ! What is it with you goody good assholes? I'm quiet for two _seconds _and all of a sudden, something has to be _up!" _She stood, glaring down at Shepard. "Nothing is fucking _up._"

"Okay," Shepard sighed, watching patiently and waiting for the rest to spill out. Jack's jaw was clenched tightly and her eyes were fixed pointedly on the window, unblinking. With a touch of surprise, Shepard realized Jack was close to tears.

"First that obnoxious muscles for brains N7 rookie douchebag, and now you..." She choked a little on the last word.

"You mean Vega?" Shepard asked gently.

Jack did not answer. "Your little Asari buddy, the Shadow Broker, emailed me."

Shepard blinked. "Liara?"

"That's the one," Jack nodded, still staring intensely ahead. In an attempt to mimic Liara's gentle soprano voice, she said, "Jack, I hope all is well with you. I've located your birth parents. They're still alive and living in the United States. If you want their contact information, I would be happy to give them to you."

"That…bitch?" Shepard offered doubtfully, almost laughing at the concept of the word 'bitch' in reference to Liara, who was about as mean as a newborn kitten.

"You don't get it. My whole life I was a goddamn freak with no parents…I wouldn't…what the hell would I even _say?_ 'Hi guys! Remember your dead baby? Well, here I am! Who's hosting Christmas?'" Jack shook her head, cringing.

"Maybe just, 'Hi, I'm your daughter,'" Shepard suggested gently, taking pity on the woman. "Look, Jack…my parents have been dead for half my life. If I had a second chance to see them again, I'd take it in a heartbeat."

"Yeah well, I'm not you," Jack told her sharply, though her voice had lost some of its venom. "Anyway…that's not really why I'm here. I've been staying with Kahlee – well, _Sanders – _and she asked me to come and give you this." Reaching into the inner pocket of her jacket, she withdrew a folded envelope. "Said to tell you to open it when you're alone."

Gingerly, Shepard took the envelope out of Jack's hand, noticing a few perfect scars over the pale skin on her arm. Jack snatched her hand back, quickly covering the scars with the sleeve of her jacket.

"Look," Jack said moodily, picking absently at the dead skin around her nails. "I have to get going—"

"Hey," Shepard called after her retreating form, "You don't have to make any decisions right now. Just think about it."

"Fucking drop it, Shep," Jack pleaded. "I'll stop in again soon."

"I'll just…keep eating these…shriveled wieners…" Shepard grumbled, sighing at her remaining food.

* * *

Kaidan had never enjoyed the paparazzi, but never did he dislike them more than he has since the return to Earth. Every time he turned a corner, it seemed, a camera and microphone were shoved into his face, bombarding him with questions about the new shelter; about the Normandy; about Shepard.

She'd been awake for an entire day and he'd only been able to see her for a grand total of ninety minutes, forty of which she'd slept through. He was anxious to get back to her and pick up where they'd left off. Since the crash on Thallo, everything had felt wrong. Maybe he was in a funk; he wasn't sure. His father's death hadn't helped his melancholy, making him long for the days when his father had pushed him to succeed. It was true, Kaidan had certainly had his issues with his dad, but there was no one on Earth he respected and feared more. His father had always been intimidating, standing well over six feet three inches with a deep voice. Kaidan had longed for his approval, yearned for his praise as a boy.

Though his father was a brilliant soldier and a high ranking officer, many people weren't aware that Captain Rick Alenko had a raging temper. He had not tolerated any show of weakness in his only child, and Kaidan had learned early in life to keep his anger bottled inside, though he still had a rebellious streak. His mother was quite old fashioned, siding with her husband on nearly every matter. Rick had never laid a hand on Kaidan or his mother, but sometimes, his words had stung more than any blow ever could have.

The day he'd been dragged away by Conatix, his father had finally told him that he was proud of Kaidan's potential. He'd said, "This is your chance to prove yourself worthy of the name Alenko."

It had not ended well after the incident with Rahna had gone horribly awry.

But that was the past, and Kaidan had moved on. He'd made his own way in the Alliance without his father's help. They'd even made their peace recently, when Kaidan had visited on shore leave the previous year. And now, his father was gone and his mother had retreated into a sunny world of denial as she always did when things were too hard to handle. He'd offered to move her closer to him, but she'd refused, stating that Vancouver was her home and that was that.

Shepard had been the only stable thing in his life. She'd been the light at the end of the tunnel, the motivation for achieving his goals. He'd fallen head over heels the first time he'd ever laid eyes on her, huddled together with Captain Anderson on the original Normandy as they went over mission plans together. Kaidan knew he'd put her on a pedestal, and the truth was that Shepard had managed to defy every single expectation he'd had of her. She had the look of delicate beauty from afar, with a narrow face, auburn hair and the brightest green eyes he'd ever seen. But, once he'd gotten to know her, it had become obvious that she was not delicate. Hell, she wasn't even gentle, but it had only added to her appeal.

She'd helped him come to terms with his past, had given him what no one else ever had: a listening ear. She'd dragged his ass out of danger more than once, and then she'd died and come back to work with Cerberus. She'd made him question everything, challenged him in ways he'd never thought he could be challenged. And somewhere in all of this, they'd both changed. When she'd been gone for two years, he'd mourned, throwing himself into work. He told himself if he could just have one more day with her, he would make it worth all the days of his life.

Life has a way of underwhelming people.

After she'd taken out the Collectors and had been cleared of all charges, they'd finally resumed their relationship…but it wasn't the same as it had been before. How could it be? Maybe too much time had passed, but Shepard was different this time. She was guarded. Almost like there was an invisible wall between them. Dr. Chakwas said she suspected it was P.T.S.D., but Kaidan wasn't convinced.

Still, he loved her.

He loved her enough to trust the Cerberus woman with her life. Kaidan had only met Miranda Lawson briefly, once when he'd helped Shepard save her sister Oriana, and at the party on the Citadel. Truthfully, he'd immediately written her off as a haughty bitch. She had an elitist attitude and liked to stick her nose where it didn't belong. She was beautiful, to be certain, but beauty could only take a person so far if there was no substance, and Kaidan had never been a shallow man.

Reflectively, Miranda had brushed him off as useless, viewing him as a nuisance when he'd questioned her motives for saving Shepard the first time and this one. To his utter shock, she'd thrown his past with Rahna back in his face. He realized with a touch of irritation, horror and awe combined that Miranda Lawson knew everything about him. He'd underestimated her, dismissing her as a petty, shallow bimbo.

Everything had changed when he'd returned to Earth. Miranda had learned that her sister Oriana was in Phoenix, trying to help hundreds of displaced children with the ALAS Foundation. She'd turned to him for help, humbly asking him to use his Spectre status to find a solution for the children, who were practically living in burlap sacks. That's when he realized that there was more to Miranda Lawson than perfect genes and a universally lauded backside. Even more surprising was the ALAS Foundation's founder, Abigail Williams, the sister of his dead comrade. The sister of the girl who still haunted his nightmares, accusing him of killing her.

And so, they'd banded together to help give the children who had been orphaned by machines a safe place to live. Kaidan had been surprised with how fulfilling it had been; watching a child's face light up when he walked into his room for the first time and it was decorated with his favorite cartoon characters. Even more interesting, however, was how _Miranda's_ face had lit up when she'd seen the child's happiness.

"This is it," She'd said thoughtfully, smiling slightly, "This is what we were fighting for." Discreetly, she'd dabbed at the corners of her eyes. That's when he'd known Miranda was right…and even more surprising; Kaidan considered her his friend. He'd learned there was more to her than just cold, calculating beauty. Miranda was deeply damaged by her own existence. She was traumatized by her inability to have children. She yearned to be happy, but she didn't know how.

She was human.

And Kaidan owed her for saving Shepard's life…twice, which was why he was currently standing before the small office she currently occupied at the medical center, waiting patiently for the door to open. It was only a moment before the metal slid open, revealing the lithe form of Miranda with her arms folded over her chest. She was frowning, her brows furrowed and she was chewing her lower lip, a nervous habit of hers he'd come to learn.

"Everything okay?" He asked, stepping past her into the office, hearing the door close behind him.

"Yes," she answered, before shaking her head, "_No._ Damn it."

Kaidan couldn't help but chuckle. "What happened?"

"I just spoke with Ori," Miranda explained, pacing behind her desk. "Apparently, she's been keeping in contact with some Drell she met while doing volunteer work in one of the refugee camps during the war. She wants him to come here and work with ALAS."

"How…terrible?" Kaidan laughed, attempting to keep the amusement off of his face. Miranda glared at him.

"It's _not _funny," She practically growled, "I think Oriana _likes _him."

"She's twenty," He reminded her, "It's natural that she should have boyfriends. I still don't see the problem, Miri." Her face reddened, though Kaidan wasn't sure whether it was anger or embarrassment that colored her cheeks.

"The first boy was bad enough, Danner something or other…but a Drell? And one with a criminal record I might add," She gave a haughty flip of her dark hair. "Kolyat Krios."

Kaidan's eyebrows rose in surprise. "Thane's son?"

"That's the one," Miranda spat, shaking her head. "My sister has far more important things to worry about than some Drell lothario."

"You can't hate _every _guy Oriana meets, Miri," he pointed out carefully. Accusing blue eyes turned on him, cold as ice.

"I can and I _will…_it's up to me to _protect_ her," Miranda insisted frantically, "I'm all she has left. If she goes off with Kolyat Krios, she might never come back, and I—" She broke off, staring at him wide eyed, caught in the truth of her fears. Miranda wasn't opposed to Oriana falling in love. She was terrified that after finally establishing a relationship with her, she'd be forgotten in the throes of young love. It was endearing, really.

"Hey," he told her, "Just because your sister has a boyfriend doesn't change the fact that she also has a sister…who she _loves._ I've been around you and Ori enough these past few months to know that she's crazy about you. She'll need you even if she goes off and gets married. You're her _sister, _Miranda."

She finally stopped her fretting long enough to look up at him in surprise, slightly slack jawed. To his utter horror, her eyes were glistening with tears. "Not only do I not know how to _be_ loved, I can't even love _other _people right!"

"Hey," He crossed to her and pulled her into a hug, patting her head soothingly. "You're a damn good sister. Oriana is lucky to have you. We all are lucky to have you." Kaidan pulled back, holding her at arm's length. "Look, I know you and I had our differences in the beginning—"

"I believe your exact words were 'Manipulative bitch playing God.'" A twist of a smirk appeared on her bow shaped lips.

Kaidan returned the grin, adding, "Well, to be fair, that was after you called me a worthless lump of hair gel and a waste of biotic talent."

"Touché," Miranda allowed, visibly relaxing.

"But, listen…caring too much isn't a sin, okay?" He put his hand on her shoulder, glancing into her eyes. "You know how to love, because I see it every day. When we see those kids out in Phoenix, I see it. When I see you with Oriana, I see it."

"I just don't want to drive her away by trying to control her life," Miranda admitted, looking down. "What if I can't stop myself?"

"The fact that you can admit that you're trying to control her life is half the battle, Miri," Kaidan told her. "If you would just let yourself…you could be _so_ happy."

"It's all I've ever wanted," She confided, "What you and Shepard have." He blanched, backing away involuntarily for a moment. The entire reason he'd even _come_ to Miranda's office.

"That's…actually why I'm here," He finally said, "I came to thank you for everything. For asking for my help with Phoenix…for Shepard…just, I'm so grateful to you."

"Of course," Miranda nodded, managing a small smile. "Anything for Shepard. We all owe her our lives. It was the least I could do. And, you know my feelings about children."

"You'd be an amazing mother," he told her earnestly, "You still _can_ be. Plenty of those kids need homes."

"You're right, of course," She sighed, turning away. "Abby messaged me just this morning. Three more were picked up in the desert. Filthy, malnourished and sick. They'd been walking for weeks…from _Kansas._" Miranda shook her head, "Breaks my heart. Sixteen, twelve and six."

"Jesus," He cringed, "Will they be okay?"

"Abby said they're looking for living relatives now, but they seemed to be relatively strong, despite being extremely rundown. The little one was the worst off. I think I'm going to take a flight in the morning and see them."

"Should I come?" He asked, bringing up his Omni-tool and starting to pull up the Extranet to purchase a ticket.

"No." Her voice was firm. "You need to be with Shepard. She still has a lot of healing to do, Kaidan. She'll need you." Her voice wavered a little bit on the last syllable. She was exhausted, that much was evident.

"Well, I should…" He nodded toward the door.

"I'll be in touch," She said, staring out the window.

Gathering his wits, Kaidan headed for the hospital wing where Shepard was likely awake. He was anxious to see her, needing to feel her presence so he could try to regain some sense of normalcy in his life. She was sitting up, arguing with who he assumed was the physical therapist.

"…just give me a straight answer," Shepard fired at the pale, thin man with the wire rimmed glasses, "How _long_ before I can get out of this place?"

"Well, it's hard to say…" The man explained falteringly, "I-If we t-take into consideration your p-previous health, and then the extent of your injuries…it could take anywhere from two weeks to two m-months…"

"Two _months?"_ She thundered, glaring at the poor man. "I cannot be in this hospital for _two months." _

"W-Well, that's really just an estimate b-based on worst case scen—"

"No," Shepard shook her head, glaring at him, "Unacceptable. I'm leaving this hospital in a week, with or without clearance. If I have to _shoot _my fucking way out of here…"

"I really must—"

"Why not a home care treatment?" Kaidan spoke up, taking pity on the man, who looked like he might collapse at any moment. Nervously, the physical therapist dabbed at his sweaty brow with a handkerchief. "Outpatient maybe? Commander Shepard is a Spectre and it may be better for her to be able to heal in the privacy of her own home."

"Oh Kaidan, thank God," Shepard sighed, rubbing her temple. "You have to get me out of here. I cannot take much more of this shitty food."

"I know how you feel," he assured her, referring to his time at Huerta Memorial on the Citadel. "But, I also know I want you to have the best recovery you can. And it's only been a day since you woke up, Alex."

"Don't you first name me, Alenko," She snapped, "I'm still your commanding officer."

"Yeah well, _technically_, I outrank you," He chuckled. "And I'm a Spectre too."

"Major Alenko, I will certainly look into outpatient options for Commander Shepard," The meek physical therapist said, glancing nervously at his patient, "Pending a physical exam, we could have you set up at home as soon as Friday."

"I would really appreciate it," he told the doctor sincerely. The man nodded, fleeing the room as if it were on fire without so much as a look back. "There," Kaidan sighed, sitting in the chair beside Shepard's bed and taking her hand. "All fixed." He pressed a kiss to the scarred skin on the back of her hand.

"I was _this close,_" She gestured with her thumb and forefinger, "to climbing out of bed and punching that little dweeb in the face."

"That's not you," He chuckled. "You're a lot of things, Shepard, but you're not like that."

"I'm just so…_ugh," _She fell back against the pillows. "I hate feeling like this. _Useless."_

"You just accomplished the greatest feat the galaxy's ever seen, Alex," He reminded her, brushing her hair out of her eyes. "'Useless' is one of the _last _words I would use to describe you."

"You always say the exact right thing," She sighed, meeting his eyes squarely. "It's annoying as hell." He laughed again. "I see the vultures are still circling the place." She nodded toward the window, where throngs of reporters could be seen. Luckily the glass was a two way mirror, so from the outside, all anyone could see was their own reflection.

"Once they find out we're together, it's going to be worse," Kaidan pointed out. "You ready for that?"

"I can handle anything once I get out of this place," Shepard muttered, noticing yet _another _nurse coming in to check her over. "I could really go for a cold beer and a greasy piece of pizza."

"It's eleven in the morning," He smirked, nodding to the digital clock.

"Yes," She sighed, holding out her arm so the nurse could take her blood pressure. "Yes it is…"

* * *

"You're late, Jeff," Dr. Chakwas glanced up from her menu at the small street side restaurant, smiling. She frowned at the sight of him as he removed his sunglasses and slunk into the chair across from hers. "Long night?" She guessed.

"Mmpf," He grumbled, reaching desperately for the pitcher of water and praying to the gods of Tylenol for the pills to start working their magic on his head.

"Well, I hope it was worth it," She smirked, returning her eyes to her menu. "Thanks for meeting me. It's been a long time since you and I had lunch together."

"Since shore leave," He recalled, setting his sunglasses aside and taking off his coat. His eyes drifted to the window, where light flurries of snow were beginning to fall, swirling around in the pre-winter air like fallen stars. It made him long for those quiet nights of flying, after everyone was asleep, leaving him alone with the stars. He needed to get the hell off of the ground soon or he'd go insane.

The Normandy had been repossessed by the Alliance, now that it wasn't so sorely needed; it was being converted into a tourist attraction in London, where the final battle had taken place. Pissed him off to no end, but he didn't even want to think about how Shepard was going to take the news that her ship was being whored out to throngs of people for photo ops. It was probably for the best anyway, since the thought of stepping foot onto that ship made him want to break his _own_ legs. After EDI's body had gone limp in the co-pilot's chair, he'd had an eerie sense of unease…almost as if her spirit was there, lingering around them, hanging in the air with no voice left to guide them.

It was crazy, he knew, since EDI was a synthetic and that body hadn't even originally been hers, but sometimes, he heard her voice in his ear, nagging him. He'd heard it the previous night even, when he'd been in the bar with James Vega and Jack, which had led him to hit on the blonde with reckless abandon.

"_Jeff, there are approximately twenty-one to twenty-six women in this bar. The probability of one of them acquiescing to sleep with you is—"_

Four shots and three very strong cocktails later, he'd had all the courage he needed and had impressed the girl, who recognized him from the vids. She'd been the loud type too, the kind who thrashed and moaned and said all the right dirty words. And yet, when he'd said goodbye to her this morning, all he could feel was disgust…with himself. It certainly wasn't the first one night stand he regretted, though he liked to think the memories of his hazy night crammed on a bunk with Kelly Chambers were getting fainter with every month that passed.

"How is Shepard?" Dr. Chakwas was asking, "I'm going to try to go up and see her tonight when I'm on my shift."

"Shep is…Shep. Seems good. I only saw her for a few minutes," He answered, distractedly, scanning the room for a waiter. "She was already threatening to beat my ass, so I take it as a good sign." A fond smile came to the woman's lips as she gingerly sipped her water. A moment later, a waiter appeared and took their order, leaving them once more in silence. Joker could feel Dr. Chakwas' eyes on him, scrutinizing in her quiet, maternal way. "What?" He asked, impatiently.

"How are _you_ holding up, Jeff?" She asked, watching him closely. He adjusted the brim of his hat so that his eyes were shadowed.

"You know me…I'm always fine."

"I don't think that's true," She sighed, "Since we returned from Thallo, you've retreated into that fortress of cynicism and anger that was so prominent when you first became pilot of the Normandy." Her eyes bore into his. "You're not letting yourself grieve. EDI would not have wanted this for you."

"You don't know _anything _about how I'm feeling," he fired back, bristling with indignance. "Just drop it."

"I've known you a long time, Jeff," Dr. Chakwas reminded him. "Your mother was one of my oldest and dearest friends. In a lot of ways, I think of you as my own son."

"Well, I'm not," He snapped, immediately regretting the words as they tumbled from his lips. "I didn't mean…"

"No." She held up her hand calmly, nodding, though she could not mask the hurt in her eyes. "You're right. You're not…but nonetheless, I do care for you very much. And it pains me to see you hurting this way, bottling up your sadness and anger, and living in this shell of denial. It's because I care for you that I'm begging you to deal with your grief. For the past five months, I've watched you drink your troubles away and I know you're devastated about losing your sister too—"

"My sister is not dead!" He cried, glaring at her. "We're just waiting for confirmation that she was taken from Tiptree with the other refugees."

"Jeff." Dr. Chakwas' eyes were kind, though full of sympathy. He hated her for pitying him. Hilary was _not _dead. He refused to believe that she was gone, because she was the only shred of family he had left. Until he was told otherwise, he was going to hold out hope that he would see her freckled face again.

"You know," He stood with effort, "If I would have known I was walking into a psych evaluation, I wouldn't have come."

"That's not what this is," She insisted, "Please sit down."

"You know, I'm not really hungry anymore," He told her, giving her some credits and startingout the door.

"Jeff, please don't go," Dr. Chakwas pleaded. "I'm sorry."

"No," He gave her a wounded look, "_I'm _sorry. I'm not mad, I just…I have to go."

"Please take care of yourself," She told him, looking at him like she wanted to hug him, but holding back. Joker had never hated himself more than he did at that moment. She was the closest thing he had left to a parent and he was pushing her away.

Maybe that was for the better. Losing people he loved was overrated. It was better to keep them all at a distance.

* * *

The flight had been rough on Liara, to say the least. Asari pregnancies were even worse than human pregnancies, or so she'd read. The nausea was tripled because of the biotics, which also tended to flare at the most inopportune times. When she was angry; when she was happy; when she was having a particularly vivid dream. The worst part of waking from these dreams, was finding herself alone in the bed with no one to comfort her. It wasn't enough that this pregnancy had turned her into an emotional, needy mess, but she had to be _sick_ on top of it all. Humans had it easy. Liara still had ten months to go before giving birth, and she was already _five_ months along!

According to her midwife, she wouldn't feel the baby move for another three months or so, but the biotic flares were actually caused by the baby's own developing biotics. She was roughly the size of a plum already. To the naked eye, Liara looked the same as always, but when she was undressed, she could just see a barely visible swell of her abdomen. It warmed her heart, thinking just below the tissue there, a brand new Asari life was building. Though, Aethyta would argue that she wasn't _all_ Asari, and still teased her daughter endlessly about her "Krogan Heritage".

Thankfully, this baby was zero Krogan. There were enough Krogan babies being born now, what with the genophage gone. Wrex had kept Liara abreast of Eve's pregnancy, which was slightly frightening to think since Wrex was the father. But, if anyone was a good counterbalance to Wrex, it was Eve.

Javik was in a surprisingly good mood…for Javik. He'd even told her about a Prothean mating ceremony ritual that didn't end in death…well, didn't _always_ end in death. To prove his worth to a Prothean female's family, the male must willingly allow the female's father to shoot him. Only if he survived would he be deemed a suitable match. After that, the two would have to make vows before a military official, before joining their minds in a similar fashion to Asari bonding, though Prothean bonding was more complex. Once bonded, they could never physically bond to another person. The minds would be forever connected; they would share feelings and pain. They would sense when their mate was in danger or distressed.

It was strangely beautiful to Liara.

"Did you ever find a bondmate?" She asked Javik, who swallowed slowly, shaking his head.

"No. I was bonded to my mission. Killing Reapers," He explained, though she suspected there was more to it than that. She sensed he was holding something back, which was almost an amusing concept.

Javik in love. Now _that_ would have been a sight to see. She couldn't picture it, considering the fact that he still called her "Asari" every once in a while, though those occurrences were becoming rare. She suspected he was lonely, perhaps even sad. She'd caught him more than once staring up into the night sky, lost in thought. She'd never brought it up, but she did feel for him. To be the only living member of your race was an awfully large weight to bear.

They had just docked on Earth when her Omni-tool chirped, alerting her to a new message. Her brows furrowed when she realized it was from Feron. She prayed to the Goddess nothing was wrong and he'd arrived back on Mars safely. (She also prayed he hadn't destroyed Glyph as he so often threatened to do.)

"What is it?" Javik asked, retrieving their meager luggage.

"It's Feron," She sighed, I need to take this. She moved to an area with seating so that she could pull up the message while Javik berated an flight station employee for being weak and dropping his bag.

_Liara-_

_I got some results on the digging you asked me to do regarding the refugees on Tiptree. Attached is a list of the survivors by name and age. You'll notice Hilary Moreau is not included. _

_Incidentally, I spoke with an Asari colleague of mine, a commando. She was on Tiptree when the attacks occurred, and she told me that one of her comrades had been forced to shoot a hysterical young girl to avoid being caught. Her body was retrieved not far from the farm. _

_I wish I had better news for you, Liara. _

_The farm belonged to an Emery Moreau. _

_I'm so sorry. _

_-Feron_

_List of Survivors:_

_Adalyn Davison_

_Jessica Marx_

_Jonathan Anders_

_Rebecca Jacobs_

Liara's eyes blurred, unseeing as she staring at the message, willing it to be different. But it was the same. Every time she read it, it was the same. How was she ever going to tell Joker? When would it ever stop hurting to think about those they'd lost? A _child_ was dead. A little girl, not unlike the one she would bring into this galaxy in ten months.

When would the losses _stop_ and the winning begin?

The sound of shattering glass brought her head up with a snap as she realized she'd accidentally destroyed a window with a biotic flare. People stopped in their tracks, turning to stare at the window like they'd seen a ghost. Javik hauled her up by the arm.

"Well done, Asari," He chuckled, urging her along, "We'd better go."

She nodded, closing her Omni-tool. "Right."

* * *

**Thank you so much for the response. :) **


	5. Chapter 4

Kaidan's Omni-tool chirped, waking him out of a restless sleep before sunrise. Vaguely, he cracked an eye open, checking the time.

_4:45 A.M. _

He dragged himself out of his bed, groaning, and padded across the room to where the device was charging. Abby William' name flashed in bright lights, making his eyes widen with the realization that it was nearly two in the morning where she was. Something was wrong. He immediately pressed the button and her image appeared before him, glasses askew with her dark hair gathered in a messy knot at the top of her head.

"Abby?" His voice was deep with sleep.

"Kaidan," Abby's no-nonsense voice had the subtlety of a bull horn, "We have a problem."

"Clearly, if you're calling me at quarter to five in the morning," He chuckled, running a hand through his wayward hair, willing himself to wake up.

"Oh, _shit…_" She made a sound of irritation, "I forgot about the time difference."

"Don't worry about it," He told her, dismissively. "What's going on?"

"It's the kids…the new three." Abby sighed. "Look, I hate to ask you for help after you've already done so much for ALAS, but Miranda insisted you would want to know."

"Know what?"

"The kids…they _walked_ all the way from Kansas…parents were killed by drifters after the Reapers hit. The oldest one, the sixteen year old has been taking care of them. They're all skinny and traumatized, especially the little one, who won't talk." Abby sighed, "But the Alliance foster system wants to split them up. Move the older two into a group home to make room for the younger kids." Her voice lost its usual business-like bravado. "Kaidan, I don't think that little girl's going to be okay if she loses her siblings…she hasn't said a word in months, the sister said."

"Jesus…" He sighed, "Okay. Tell you what; I'll be there at some point today. Let me see if I can book a jet …"

"I appreciate this, Kaidan. Really," Abby sagged in relief. "Mrs. Perfect _said_ you wouldn't let us down," she added with a smirk.

He rolled his eyes, groaning. "Abby, you _know_ I hate that." Shaking his head, he added, "Plus, I don't want Shepard to get the wrong idea."

"Wrong idea?" The woman quirked an eyebrow at him. "It's a _joke_, Alenko. Unless it means something else to _you—"_

"No," He gave a quick laugh to remedy the situation. "'Course. I'm just…out of sorts. It _is_ five A.M."

"Sorry again." She shrugged sheepishly. "Anyway, Mrs. Perf—" Abby cut herself off, huffing impatiently at his warning glare, "I mean, _Miranda_, is looking into possible living relatives. If we find someone who can take the kids, _together_, the crisis could be averted."

"Noted," Kaidan agreed. "Okay, I'm going to head over to the hospital in a bit to see Shepard, fill her in and then, I'll be out there as soon as I can. What did Miranda say?"

"She wanted to take them in _herself_," Abby laughed, "You know how Miranda loves kids…but, she couldn't get fast approved because of her history with Cerberus and The Illusive Man. The Alliance is still leery. It's like a goddamn scarlet letter stamped on her perfect ass. "

"Ridiculous," He muttered. Though he hadn't initially trusted Miranda, she had certainly changed his mind as he'd grown to know her as a person. On the surface, she was the picture of controlled perfection, with a cold demeanor and ruthless ambition. There was very little that Miranda let deter her from her goals. But, on the inside, when one chipped away at that icy exterior, it became clear that Miranda was just a motherless girl who had overcome horrible circumstances and longed for a family; for happiness. She yearned to make up for the lonely life she'd led. If anyone should be entrusted with the safety of children, it was Miranda Lawson.

"What? You don't think she has a nice ass?" Abby joked, snorting at his look of disapproving look. "I'd ask her out, but she doesn't swing _my_ way."

"Okay, let's change the subject," Kaidan warned, reaching for a T-Shirt and eyeing the hallway longingly, thinking of the coffee maker that lay in wait mere feet away.

Snickering, Abby made a sound akin to a snort. "Anyway…I, uh…have something for you when you get here. Kind of a present. I don't know."

"Abby, I've told you I'm glad to help," He sighed. "You do not have to bribe me."

"This isn't…" She sobered, visibly. "It's not that…it's about Ash."

Kaidan was suddenly tense, freezing with shirt in hand. For three years, he'd seen Ashley's face when he closed his eyes; accusing him of killing her. Blaming him for surviving while she'd died a horrid death at the mercy of a fucking nuke. Beautiful, kind Ash who had loved poetry and art and who had listened to him time and again as he talked about his feelings for Shepard. What had made him more worthy of life than Ashley? It was a question that still plagued him every day of his life.

"What about her?"

"She left you something…my youngest sister Sarah sent it to me to give to you."

"What is it?" He whispered, almost afraid of the answer.

"Her Omni-tool." Abby looked down uncomfortably. "Sarah said Ash told her if anything happened…that it was to go to you…but my mother's had it under lock and key. Sarah just found it while cleaning her things out of the basement."

"Look," He began, uncomfortably, "I don't want to take something that your mother wants—"

"My mother is a judgmental shrew who gets her jollies by controlling her daughters' lives. She drove me out after Ash's death when she decided to take up with those Evangelical assholes. Lynn married the first guy she met and Sarah is going to college as far away from home as she can get. So, my sister and I agreed that this Omni-tool is going to the person Ashley wanted to have it. So it's _yours._"

Kaidan sighed in defeat. "I'll take a look when I get there," he reluctantly agreed. "Do you have the pass code?"

Her face fell. "That's just it…Ash never gave us the pass code, so we can't get into it." Abby shrugged. "We'd need a hacker or…I don't know, a—"

"Comm Specialist," He finished for her, perking up with realization. "I know one. I'll see if she can help us out."

They said a quick goodbye before Kaidan set about gathering some things for the trip. A duffel bag full of clothes, along with some extra credits. He decided on wearing a pair of jeans and a T-Shirt, along with a baseball cap and sunglasses. Hopefully, it would divert the press, ever lurking outside of the hospital, waiting for a glimpse of the infamous Savior, until he could get inside. It made him sick, because now that he and Shepard actually _could_ have a future, they would never really get to live it in peace. There would always be people running up to them; gossip stories speculating intimate details of their private lives. They would never be able to fully trust anyone, save for their inside circle. People were quick to spill information when urged with the promise of reward.

It was fairly easy to book a private jet, thanks to his Spectre status. Notoriety did have its perks as well. He managed to get everything together and head out the door just before nine so that he could get to the hospital for visiting hours. Shepard had been moved out of the I.C.U. yesterday and had been placed into a normal room for one more night of observation so that she could come home toda—

_Shit._

Shepard was supposed to come _home_ today and he was taking off for Phoenix. She was not going to be happy with him, and frankly, he couldn't blame her. The fact was, however, that she couldn't come home to an empty house with no one to watch out for her. She'd managed, with effort, to walk with the aid of a cane the previous evening and a home nurse was assigned to come every day. Physical therapy would also begin at home the following morning.

What was he going to _do?_

The crew had fanned out over the galaxy. The only ones nearby were James, who was busy with N7 training. Jack, who frankly, he wouldn't trust to take care of a Krogan. But, there _was_ Joker. Shepard didn't need anyone to lift her; the nurse would do all of that for her. She just needed someone who knew her to keep her company.

The question was, would he do it? Kaidan had watched Joker bottle up when EDI had gone non-functional. He had watched Joker act like nothing had happened and simply return to his business, pretending like everything was normal. But Kaidan also had seen the moments when Joker hadn't known anyone could see; when he'd refused to even look at the lifeless shell that EDI had occupied during the last part of her short life; wouldn't even _mention_ her.

Since their return to Earth, he'd gone on a spree of skirt chasing and drinking his feelings away. The only times he seemed himself were when he'd sat vigil at Shepard's bedside, begging her to wake up. Kaidan had never been threatened by how close Joker was with Shepard, though he could not deny that when he'd rejoined the crew of the Normandy, things had seemed different between the pair. It was almost as if an unspoken agreement hung in the air between them; a bond that none of the other crew shared. Of course, Shepard had settled back into her relationship with Kaidan while Joker pursued EDI. Things had seemed normal, though Kaidan could feel Shepard holding back with him. There wasn't a day he didn't regret how he'd treated her on Horizon, though he'd had valid reasons. It had strained their relationship; made her distrustful of him. He longed for the days before the Collectors had attacked the SR-1, when Shepard had chosen to be with him and they'd shared a feverish night in her cabin. The few months after defeating Sovereign had been bliss; discreet flirting followed by heady nights in bed.

It was different now.

When Shepard had died, she'd come back different. She was still the same fearless hero that she'd always been, but maybe she was just different with _him._ Kaidan had fallen for her immediately, but he sometimes wondered if the pedestal he'd placed her on had made it impossible for her to be what he needed. Maybe it was all too much for one person to live up to. He'd fought so long and so hard to have her…there was no way he was going to abandon her now.

He owed her that much.

* * *

It was impossible to sleep in a hospital, constantly surrounded by flashing lights and beeping equipment. Constant sounds of people walking past her door and doctor's yelling to each other had her nerves on edge. It didn't help that every little noise seemed to set Shepard off. A nurse dropped a tray of tools, which had clashed loudly and sent her reaching for a gun that wasn't there. The promise of a comfortable bed and a dark, quiet bedroom…and a kitchen with real food – maybe even _steak – _made her so impatient, she could either scream or cry…and Shepard didn't cry.

As much as she hated to admit it (and she _hated_ to admit it), physical therapy had kicked her ass the night before. Turned out that leg muscles got _weak_ if you didn't use them for five months. For a second, she wished she could bring the Reapers back so that she could send them back to hell again. True, it had only been two days since she'd been awake, but she was already sick of bed and rest and hospital. Garrus and Tali had sent word that they were on their way to see her. Together. If she was in better spirits, she would have snickered at this.

She hadn't heard a peep from Liara, only that she'd said she was on her way from an undisclosed location.

Kaidan had, of course, stayed with her through her physical therapy, but she'd been irritated with him, because he kept asking her if she was okay. Which, in retrospect, was probably really nice of him and which consequently made her an asshole. To his credit, he never complained, only sat patiently beside her, lending support when she'd walked weakly around her bed. It was embarrassing, to be perfectly fucking honest. She was an N7 alum for Christ's sake.

Commander Shepard: Hero of the Galaxy…could barely support her weight on her left leg.

Glancing at the clock, she cringed as she realized breakfast would be coming and the thought of watery scrambled eggs made her stomach churn. A shadow appeared in the door, blocking the light from the hall briefly. Kaidan's broad form stood with two cups in hand, bringing with him the sweet smell of caffeinated Heaven.

"Coffee?"

"_God_ yes," Shepard sighed, reaching out a hand and taking the beautiful paper cup out of his hand. "Have I mentioned you're my favorite?"

"Once or twice," he grinned, sitting in the chair beside her bed after dropping a quick kiss on her forehead.

"I was talking about the coffee," she teased, winking, "But you're okay too."

"You wound me," He chuckled as she took a reverent sip of the bitter liquid, sighing in contentment. It was the best thing she'd tasted in five months. "Hey, uh…listen..."

"Uh oh," she mused, looking up at him and brushing a mop of red hair out of her eyes. "That doesn't sound good." Gasping, she looked at her coffee and then back up at him. "Was this a bribe, Alenko?"

"It's…" He sighed, "I have to go to Phoenix." When she didn't readily reply, he added, "Today. As soon as I leave here actually."

"Phoenix? What the hell?" She frowned, "I'm supposed to come _home_ today! Kaidan, I have to get out of here."

"It's a long story, but…in a nutshell, some kids turned up and they're in bad shape…three of them. Parents killed." He swallowed. "They're trying to split them up, so Abby Williams asked if I can come out and hopefully wield some influence in their favor. One's a little girl who hasn't spoken since she lost her parents."

Shepard stared at him, unblinking, before swatting his arm and letting out a sound of annoyance. "You bastard…"

"It's just for the day. I'll be back tomorr—"

"_No,_" Shepard groaned, trying unsuccessfully to suppress a laugh, "I was trying very hard to be mad at you and then you have to go all 'Kaidan Alenko: Savior of the Children' on me and make me feel like an ass."

"So, you're not mad…?" He watched her carefully. She shook her head, sighing.

"I'm not mad," she affirmed. "I just really want out of here."

"Well, I hired you a babysitter…so you still get to go home today," He informed her, making her sag in relief, clutching her coffee in both hands.

"You're the best." She sighed, "Who is it?"

Again, he looked sheepish, chuckling nervously. "Well, I made a phone call…the nurse will be there to help with anything you need, so I just wanted someone to be there to keep you company."

"_Who?"_ She asked once more.

"I believe someone called for a stripper!" A voice called from the door. Shepard's eyes narrowed on Kaidan's cringing face, but she let out a snort of surprise, turning to see Joker leaning against the door frame, arms folded over his chest. His hat shadowed his eyes, but he was moving slower than usual even. He gave a suggestive pout before stepping into the room.

"You _definitely_ have the wrong room, Buddy…" Shepard cracked, "The geriatric ward is downstairs."

"_Ha…_" He drawled sarcastically, adjusting his hat. "_Someone _calls me at six this morning." He dropped his voice to imitate Kaidan. Badly. "'Uh…hey Joker, it's Kaidan…yeah I decided to book a trip across the country on a whim the same day that my girlfriend comes home from the hospital like a tool. Can you come and watch her? What? You weren't my last resort…'"

"You _weren't,"_ Kaidan laughed, putting his hands up in surrender. "But I really do appreciate it."

"Yeah, yeah…" Joker replied, waving him off. "You just better hope neither of us falls or we're both screwed. The only person left to take care of us is Jack…and _nobody _wants that."

"You'll be fine," Kaidan assured him.

"_You'll_ be fine," Shepard inserted dryly, "I'm stuck with _that_ while you live it up in Arizona." She nodded toward Joker, who gave her a mock wounded look.

"I'm _hurt,"_ He replied, melodramatically.

"You'll live," She smirked, rolling her eyes and turning back to Kaidan. "When do you have to leave?"

Checking the time, he sighed. "About ten minutes ago. I booked a private jet and they'll be waiting on me. Luckily, my clothes threw off the vultures. Which reminds me," He presented a bag and placed it in her lap. "You're going to be released around five today. Miranda came up with a plan…"

"She always does," Shepard mused, fondly.

Kaidan nodded in agreement. "She hired two lookalikes. One for you and one for me. They're going to go out the front exit, distract the paparazzi while you and Joker slip out the back entrance into a car that will be waiting."

"We're like the Beatles," Joker mused, giving half a grin. At her blank stare, he added, "Rock band from the nineteen sixties…it was a big thing."

She met Kaidan's eyes. He looked lost. "You never heard of the Beatles?"

"Like the insect?"

"I've lost faith in humanity," Joker sighed, shaking his head. "Hey Jude? Here Comes The Sun? Let it _Be? _No? Nothing?"

Kaidan shrugged apologetically. "Never had much time for music. My father was more of a classical music type…"

"Not to mention," Shepard added wryly, defending Kaidan. "They haven't had a hit in two hundred years…I've heard of them, but most people haven't."

"Well, it isn't _my_ fault you people don't know the classics," Joker shrugged.

With a resigned glance at the clock once more, Kaidan rose, bending to give Shepard a kiss on the lips. Her eyes opened when it was more than a quick peck, flitting awkwardly over to Joker, who was mercifully pretending to be preoccupied with his boot laces. (She would never hear the end of this.) Kaidan pulled back, cupping her cheek in his sturdy hand. "I really am sorry," he told her, "I'll be back in the morning."

"It's fine, Major," She patted his arm affectionately. "I'll be waiting."

"I love you," He added, almost as if he were trying to convince her, brown eyes boring into hers. It brought half a smile to her face.

"I love you too," She answered, frowning in bemusement. He and Joker said a quick goodbye, and Kaidan glanced back at her one more time, before leaving.

An awkward silence fell over the pair, before Joker spoke. "So, are you two _always_ that revolting or was that a one time thing?"

"Kiss my ass." She rolled her eyes, but was unable to keep herself from grinning anyway.

"With _pleasure…_" He waggled his eyebrows suggestively at her, moving closer and gesturing with his hand. "Go on, turn over." She swatted his hand away weakly, snorting with laughter. He smirked down at her, raising a brow. "So, do I get to help you shower?"

"Gah! _No!_" Shepard chortled, shaking her head and burying her face in her hands. It felt fucking _good_ to laugh even if it still hurt a little. "That's what the nurse is for!"

"Ooh!" He clapped his hands excitedly, "Even better. Girl on girl!" He crossed his fingers, closing his eyes. "Please tell me the nurse is Liara…_Please_ tell me the nurse is Liara."

"You're an ass," She smirked, waving him off. He claimed the seat Kaidan had been sitting in moments earlier.

"But charmingly sexy, right?" He pouted seductively, or more accurately, what he _thought_ was seductively.

"Oh, yes…" She told him sarcastically, "I can barely keep my hands off of you, you stud." He snickered, but she noticed him swallow hard. That's when she noticed the shadows beneath his green eyes, making him seem withdrawn and almost ill. "Alright," she sighed, "Out with it. What's going on with you, Joker?" His eyes flickered over to her.

"What? Nothing!" He chuckled dismissively, though his voice held no conviction.

"Jeff." Shepard kept her eyes on his face, waiting patiently. She could see his resolve crumbling.

"Dr. Chakwas and I got into it yesterday at lunch," he finally admitted. Surprise caused her to nearly drop her coffee. Luckily, she caught it with the other hand, steadying herself. In the three years that she'd known Jeff Moreau, she had never known him to argue with Karin Chakwas. It was no secret that she cared for him as if he were her own child. Shepard couldn't recall one time she'd ever heard either party speak harshly to one another. "She accused me of not grieving over EDI. Bottling it all up. Said I was in denial about Gunny – my sister."

"Are you?" Shepard pressed gently, not wanting to start another argument. When he met her eyes, she was a little taken aback by how wounded he looked.

"No! Maybe…" He shook his head, running a hand over his face. "_I _don't fucking know, Shep. I can't sleep, because when I close my eyes, I see Hilary's face, accusing me of abandoning her. I _hear_ EDI in my ear every damn time I need to make a decision, whether it's to buy something on the extranet or take a piss. And I don't know for sure about Hilary…she hasn't been confirmed dead." He shrugged helplessly. "_How_ can I give up now? What would you do?"

"I'd keep hoping against hope until I knew for sure," Shepard concurred. "But you don't have to pretend you're not upset about EDI. She was the one thing that almost held me back from making the decision to kill the Reapers."

"What do you mean?" His eyes narrowed on her. Shepard sighed, knowing it was better to tell him the truth now.

"EDI is dead…because of me," she explained carefully. At his startled look, she held up a hand. "Catalyst gave me three choices. One, I could destroy the Reapers, but in doing so, all synthetic life in the galaxy would be destroyed—" Joker hissed, cringing at the thought. "Two, I could _merge_ synthetic life and organic." She kept her eyes locked on his face, tight with an array of emotions. "She could have lived…"

"No." Joker shook his head vehemently, glaring at her. "You wouldn't do that."

"I had to," She looked down at her half empty coffee guiltily. "To merge synthetic and organic life would have ended evolution. It would have taken away our natural course and nothing would ever change. It wasn't something I agreed with, fundamentally."

"EDI wouldn't have wanted that either," he sighed, swiping at the corner of his eyes. "_Damn _it."

"The third choice—"

"Oh goody, there's a third?" He snapped, staring daggers at the ground.

"We could have taken control of the Reapers. My physical form would be exchanged for an A.I. I would have been the one making their decisions."

"No," His eyes were wide with horror, "_God_ no…I mean, no offense, not that I wouldn't _love_ having you as a benevolent overlord, but that's _sick…_you would have been just like—"

"The Illusive Man." She nodded. "Yeah."

"_Jesus,"_ he spat, looking up with recognition. "So _that's_ why you apologized when you woke up." A sound of anguish left him as his hand balled up into a fist. "I _hate_ that EDI had to die, but you made the right decision, Shep. Those things had to be destroyed. And you would have died…"

"I expected to die," She confessed seriously. "Joker, I wasn't supposed to make it. In the end it was the Cerberus modifications that saved my life." She gave a mirthless laugh. "Irony."

"If we would have known that was your plan, you would have had a harder time getting rid of us," he told her. "Do you have _any_ idea how hard it was for me to leave without knowing if you'd made it or not? That would have been twice…twice you'd died on my watch. EDI haunts me, but you did too before we found out you were alive."

The sound of heels clicking on linoleum interrupted them, but she gave Joker a look that told him the conversation wasn't over. Both heads turned toward the door as two figures appeared; both familiar. Shepard's eyes stung at the sight of the two forms, one blue and one green. Blinking rapidly, she pushed that urge away as a slow smile spread over her face.

"Well, well, well…" She murmured. "As I live and breathe."

Liara managed a small smile. "Sorry I'm late."

"Well, it's the thought that counts." Shepard winked, glancing past her to Javik. "Glad to see you're sticking around, soldier."

"I couldn't let you primitives fend for yourselves," He muttered, folding his arms. "Your kind will do nothing but let the galaxy go to ruin."

"Sure, sure…love you too." She shared a snicker with Liara, patting the seat beside her. The asari complied, though Shepard couldn't help noticing something seemed off with her. Her face was different somehow; fuller. To be fair, it _had_ been five months since she'd seen her and frankly, Liara could have definitely stood to gain a few pounds. They all could have. Spending months and years in space flight did wonders for the figure, but war was hell. They ate when they had time (or remembered).

"I'm so happy to see you're doing well," Liara told her sincerely, patting her hand. "I've been monitoring your condition closely, keeping in touch with Miranda. Javik and I have been on Mars."

"Ugh," Joker groaned, "Liara, remember that talk we had about good vacation spots? Mars wasn't on the list." The asari managed a tight smile, her blue eyes lingering on the pilot momentarily, before she looked down into her lap, wringing her hands together; a nervous habit.

"We've been doing research for the book," Javik explained impatiently with a flourish of his hand, drifting to the window and scowling at the throngs of gathered reporters, waiting with bated breath for a glimpse of their hero. "Ignorant beasts."

"I gotta go with Prothy on this one," Joker agreed, shaking his head as Javik moved back toward them, rolling his eyes at the human's remark.

"I, er…have some news," Liara's eyes slipped nervously to Javik, who gave no indication that he knew what it could be. "I'm…well, that is to say—" She huffed, sighing.

"Liara." Shepard almost laughed. "Come on…it's _me._ Well, and Joker…sorry about that one—"

"_Hey!" _He yelped defensively. "I'm _awesome."_

"What's going on?"

"You won't be able to hide it much longer, asari," Javik added dryly, his mouth set in a disapproving line. (Or maybe that was just how his mouth always looked.)

"_Hide?"_ Now Shepard was intrigued. "Did you murder someone?"

"No." Liara's face was turning an adorable shade of violet. "That would have been so much easier to confess than this."

"I'm not even gonna go there," Joker quipped.

"I'm…" She rolled her eyes, irritated with herself, throwing her hands up in surrender. "I'm going to have a baby."

The (thankfully) empty coffee cup fell to the floor, thudding before rolling underneath the hospital bed. "I'm sorry, _what?"_ She looked at Joker for confirmation that they'd heard right. Sure enough, he too was slack jawed, tired eyes wide with shock.

"Yeah, I got nothin'," He commented, rendered speechless by their friend's confession.

"Who's _is_ it?" Shepard asked as her mind wandered to the 'gift' Liara had given her right before the battle. Her eyes widened in horror. "Wait a sec…back in London, when you…when we—" Joker's eyes lit up like it was Christmas. "Did you?"

Liara stared at her, dumbfounded, before shaking her head vehemently. "Shepard, I would _never _do something like that without telling you, especially since you and I aren't and have never been in an intimate relationship."

"Well, there goes _that_ fantasy," Joker muttered, receiving a death glare from both women.

Shepard sagged in both relief and guilt for accusing the poor asari. "Sorry, it's just…that would be complicated…and I remembered when you joined our minds…I panicked."

"Goddess," Liara clutched her heart, "No. I swear it."

"Relax," Shepard took her hand. "I believe you. A baby, huh?" Javik let out a sound of annoyance, starting toward the door, where a reporter was lingering, obviously having managed to sneak in past security.

"You have no business here, human," He snapped at the individual, who looked like he had been caught with his hand in a cookie jar. Javik slammed the door in his face. "Moron." Shepard's eyes narrowed on the Prothean, glancing between he and Liara suspiciously. He must have sensed her thoughts, because four yellow eyes turned on her. "I am not the father." He informed her. "I would never interbreed with an asari."

"Oh good Goddess, _no,"_ Liara agreed, burying her face in her hands. "This is a nightmare. I should have just kept quiet."

"What and then in nine months, when a little blue asari pops out of your business, you were just going to chime in with 'Oh, there's something I've been meaning to tell you guys…'?" Shepard anxiously pushed her overgrown red hair out of her eyes.

"I don't know…" Liara lamented, "It's just, we agreed that we would tell everyone when the time was right. Is the timing ever right?"

"Not usually," Shepard replied, shrugging. "And you forget, you're a hundred and nine. I mean, that's young for you, but you pretty much have seniority over all of us." Javik made a sound of derision, bringing a smirk to her lips. "Well, except for _him."_ She winked at him. As usual, he pretended to be unimpressed, but Shepard thought she caught a glimpse of a quirk at the corner of his mouth. "But, you don't answer to us. I'm not your commander anymore."

"You'll always be our Commander, Shep," Joker inserted, nodding at Liara, who swallowed.

"Well," She sighed, "Actually, asari are pregnant for fifteen months. So, a more accurate assumption would be, in ten months, a little blue asari will, as you so eloquently put, 'pop out of my business.'"

"Ugh," Shepard shuddered. "_Fifteen_ months? That's over a year!"

"Yes," Liara mused thoughtfully, looking down and placing a hand over her as of now, flat abdomen. "But, she's certainly already making her presence known…the involuntary biotic flares were surprising."

"Good to know…" Joker cracked, "Don't piss off the pregnant asari."

"Indeed," Liara conceded fondly.

"Will you tell us who her father is?" Shepard pressed curiously, trying to rack her brain. "I mean, if it's not _me – _thank God for _that_ one – and it's not Javik…who? Traynor?"

"_Samantha?_" Liara's mouth fell open. "We've barely had a full conversation, Shepard!" Her shoulders sagged. "It's…complicated."

Shepard's eyebrows rose as she perked up with an epiphany. "Feron!" Liara's eyebrows rose, but she said nothing in response, mouth clamping shut as her cheeks pooled with color.

"_He's very grateful to me for saving him, but it would be irresponsible of me to take advantage of that." _

"_She's a good friend. Better than I deserve…"_

It made so much sense, Shepard could have kicked herself for not thinking of it immediately. Of course, it had been a long time since she'd seen Feron, though he had kept in touch on and off over the course of the past year, but it had been so _clear_ when she'd spoken with him after they'd overthrown the yahg. Though Liara's response had been vague, Shepard had sensed there was more that Liara hadn't been admitting to.

"I always seem to forget how observant you are," Liara groaned.

"I sensed it was the Drell," Javik muttered, shaking his head, though he sounded uncharacteristically approving of the match. "You could do worse, asari."

"Javik and Feron get along quite well," Liara informed her.

"Wait," Joker finally chimed in, "You're having a baby…with a _Drell…_and _where _have I been?"

"I've told you about Feron," Liara answered, nervously pulling herself off of the bed. She began to pace. "When we spoke about—" She stopped dead, face going pale as if remembering something suddenly. "Oh dear…that reminds me." She winced, approaching Joker cautiously. "Can we speak in private?" The grim look on her face made the pilot go pale. He shook his head.

"Right here's fine," He told her in an unnaturally small voice, obviously knowing what was coming. Shepard wasn't sure she wanted to hear this either, sensing this wasn't good, but she sat up further, scooting closer to them, on edge.

"I will go and keep watch outside," Javik relayed, stalking from the room.

"It's about your sister," Liara sighed, defeated, standing before Joker. His green eyes slowly looked up to meet the asari's.

"Did you…find her?"

Shepard grabbed the cane, dragging herself off of the bed with effort, standing behind Liara and watching Joker closely, all traces of the carefree attitude gone and replace with a mask of fear and anticipation.

"Not exactly," Liara glanced back at Shepard, who nodded, urging her to tell him what she knew. It would do none of them any good to keep it in, and perhaps Joker could get some closure. She only wished it could be the closure where his sister was found safe and sound.

"Is she…?" His voice trailed off, breaking on the last syllable.

Liara's face crumpled as she looked down at the floor. "I'm so sorry," she whispered.

"I was able to track down what happened to her through one of the Asari commandos." Liara's eyes glistened dangerously and Alex wanted nothing more in that moment than to be back in that coma, blissfully unaware of the horrors that the war had left behind. Yes, they'd won, but they'd still lost…_so much._

A fifteen year old girl was dead. Countless others, younger even, had perished under the weight of the sentient machines that had deemed them unworthy of life. Joker crumbled into a chair, facing away from them and hunching over with his face in his hands, pushing the brim of his hat up on his head. Shepard froze, unsure of how to help her pilot – no – her _friend_.

She gripped her cane, ignoring the searing pain in her right knee and her ribs as she crept over to him, reaching out and placing a hand on his shoulder. He recoiled from her touch, whirling around to glare up at her. "Jeff..." He slowly got to his feet and drifted away from them, dazed as he moved toward the wall.

Liara was behind her in an instant, putting a supportive hand on the small of her back. "Give him a moment, Shepard."

For a few seconds, she thought he was going to be alright. He seemed to be calming down, straightening up. She wanted to hope, for his sake. Her knuckles were white on the handle of her cane as she waited with Liara; the waiting was the worst.

And then, he lashed out at the wall, driving every ounce of his strength into punching the hard metal of the hospital wall as he let out a wounded sound, undoubtedly breaking multiple bones in his hand. To her horror, he didn't stop, growling with rage and grief as he continued to ruin his hand.

Shepard was done. She tossed her cane aside and launched forward, summoning up what little strength she possessed, to wrap her arms around him from behind and keep him from doing further harm to himself, trying desperately to hold him carefully enough so as not to break him. They flew forward with the momentum and she knew the impact wasn't going to be good for either of them as they fell to the floor. A flash of blue surrounded them, cushioning their fall and easing them both to the ground.

Liara.

For too many long seconds, they lie staring at each other, breathing heavily from the exertion. She noticed the tears sliding down the slope of his nose and down his cheek onto the carpet. Taking pity on him, Shepard reached out a bruised hand and used the pad of her thumb to wipe beneath his eye, feeling her own eyes well up as she managed to sit up, scooting closer to Jeff and easing him up, careful not to smash his broken hand as she pulled him into a tight hug, surprising them both.

He hesitated for a beat, before she felt his good hand grip the back of her hoodie as he buried his face into the crook of her neck. He made no sound, but she could feel his shoulders move with every aching sob he released. Unsure of how to help him, she helplessly met Liara's wet eyes over his shoulder and tentatively brought her hand to the hair at the back of his head, sticking out of the cap. She tried to remember her how her mother had soothed her father when he'd been upset. She'd always stroked his hair. Alex remembered, because she used to watch in fascination at the easy way her mother had handled her father.

They stayed that way for a long while, sitting huddled together on the floor, holding each other silently.

"I killed my sister," she finally said, swallowing and pulling back slightly, accepting the proffered tissue from Liara. She nodded her thanks to the asari, who sank tiredly onto the bed. Joker stared at her with red eyes full of confusion.

"What?"

"During the Skillian Blitz, my sister was taken by Batarian slavers back on Mindoir. I assumed she was killed too. Six years later, I was on shore leave on Elysium…and we went to this underground club, which was apparently, also a prostitution ring. Ana was working there under the alias 'Princess'. She was bald and way too thin, but I recognized her, because she was wearing the locket she stole from me the day they attacked us." Shepard focused on their feet, continuing, "I tried to save her, they'd implanted a control chip in her brain. She was a danger to herself and all of us and she attacked someone else, so I had to shoot her…" She closed her eyes, recalling it as perfectly as if she had Drell memory. "She begged me to kill her when she fell. Told me to 'let her go.' So, I did." Alex swallowed. "It haunts me to this day."

"Let me go…" Joker echoed, eyeing her.

"I never knew that," Liara murmured in a hushed voice. Shepard couldn't bring herself to look up and see his heartbroken face or their reactions to her confession. It was her darkest secret; one she'd tried and failed to forget.

"I've never told anyone," she admitted. "The only person who ever knew was Anderson."

"How do you _deal_ with it?" Joker asked in a broken voice, "Does the pain ever go away?"

Shepard met his eyes squarely. "No," she shook her head. "It doesn't. But you learn to live with it, and sometimes you forget…but it never really goes away." She carefully took his injured hand in hers, examining it. "But you have us…me and Liara…and Javik, well…everyone. We're your family too. You're not alone, Lieutenant."

"Thanks, Commander," he swallowed, cringing as Liara stooped to help him to his feet first, before she pulled Shepard up and moved to call a doctor into the room.

"Shit, we'll be lucky if they let _either_ of us leave this joint tonight," Shepard uttered, dryly, swiping at her own misty eyes with the back of her hand, accepting her cane from him as she heard Liara speaking to someone in the hallway. "I'm sorry, Jeff."

"I think I knew…" He sniffed. "I just wanted to be wrong…so _much." _

She ached to comfort him, but she didn't know _how._ So, she simply answered, "I know."

Because she did know.


	6. Chapter 5

_**TERRORIST ACTIVITY IN LONDON**_

_**Monday November 13, 2186**_

_**The Alliance, along with London Police, is investigating a horrific attack at Hyde Park in London. Celebrated Alliance General Darius Andover was apparently brutally murdered. The public celebration of Crown Prince Arthur's Fifth Birthday was disrupted when a highly disturbed white horse appeared amid the celebration with the mutilated body of General Andover on its back. His throat and wrists had been slit and the animal was covered in his blood. A crown had been attached to his head, apparently stitched to the skin with fishing line and a bow had been secured in the same way to his right hand. **_

_**Clutched in the left hand of the General was a Bible Verse.**_

" _**Revelation 6:1-2**_

_**(1) And I saw when the Lamb opened one of the seals, and I heard, as it were the noise of thunder, one of the four beasts saying, Come and see.**_

_**(2)And I saw, and behold a white horse: and he that sat on him had a bow; and a crown was given unto him: and he went forth conquering, and to conquer."**_

_**The loss of a man who contributed greatly during the Reaper War is felt by many and comes just under two weeks before the ceremony honoring Commander Shepard and the crew of the Normandy warship, which has found its new home in London and will be open to the public on November 20**__**th**__** for tours. **_

_**If anyone knows anything about this horrific crime, please contact the Alliance. **_

* * *

"Please prepare for landing at the North American Intergalactic Flight Station and thank you for choosing Airsari Starships," The docile female voice came over the speaker, bringing Tali out of sleep with a jolt, making her knock her cheek against her mask. She groaned, glancing at Garrus' concerned face. She imagined if he were human, he'd be raising an eyebrow at her.

"Everything…okay?" He asked, sounding unsure of whether that was the right question to ask. Tali nodded, glad she'd donned the suit before takeoff and he couldn't see her embarrassment.

"Of course," She countered, wringing her fingers together nervously. Sighing, she sagged in defeated as the ship shuddered a little with the impact of the thick atmosphere of the blue planet humans called home. "I've never liked landing," she confessed sheepishly, chancing a look up at Garrus' face. "At least…not on these passenger ships. They're so jerky."

"Well, I guess we've just been spoiled by Joker's flying," Garrus chuckled, shaking his head. "Arrogant bastard."

"Hmm," Tali agreed quietly, leaning against Garrus' shoulder. She wasn't a fan of travel starships. They weren't smooth like the Normandy had been, or particularly spacious. She and Garrus had been practically crammed in a cabin together with their luggage between the two of them for two days now. And, though they were certainly now considering themselves a couple of sorts, they had yet to actually share a bed. Truth be told, Tali was a virgin. Quarian culture had dictated so, though Tali had certainly not been _entirely_ chaste with Garrus. Still, they'd done little more than kiss.

When her parents had been alive, when their lives consisted of the flotilla and little more, things had been different. It would have been unheard of for a quarian woman to date or even associate with a turian man. _Fleet and Flotilla_ was a beautiful film, but the social implications of that sort of relationship were vast.

The landing was rough, but thankfully it was over quickly enough and within minutes, they were docked and leaving the starship. Tali pulled out her paperwork to get through Intergalactic Customs, which went surprisingly smoothly. She did get one suspicious look from a guard at the quarian check-in point, but he waved her through after raking his eyes indiscreetly down her body. She scanned the area for Garrus, who was being patted down by a human officer. She started toward him after picking up her bag off of the conveyor and tripped over something, or more accurately, _someone. _

"Oh, _Keelah,"_ She moaned, mortified, "I am so sorry."

"It's quite alright," The quarian male's voice responded, sounding strangely familiar. The man helped her to her feet, setting her to rights and picked up her bag. "You look well, Tali'Zorah nar Rayya."

Tali blinked at the man, trying to place him and failing. "I'm sorry…I don't know—"

"Zev'Nimah nar Rayya vas Sunaru," He informed her, nearly making Tali gasp with realization. They had been children together; had played together on the Rayya. She had heard talk that Zev had been making great strides in quarian favor with the Council, though she hadn't truly seen him since before his Pilgrimage. Things had been different then; complicated.

And now…

"All set?" Garrus' voice interrupted as his shadow fell over the two quarians. He kept his tone light, but one glance at his face told Tali that he was on the defensive, and the last thing she needed was a jealous turian on her hands.

"Yes," She assured him, "Just a little spill. Garrus, this is—"

"An old friend," Zev inserted for her, holding his hand out for Garrus to shake. He stared at it as if it were some kind of an oddity, before reluctantly taking it. "Zev'Nimah vas Sunaru," He told Garrus pleasantly. "Soon to be Councilor Zev'Nimah vas Sunaru." Tali's eyes widened in surprise.

"Councilor? You mean…?"

"Yes, Tali'Zorah," Zev told her triumphantly, "At present, I have been meeting with the Council and we are in negotiations to get a place on the Council _and_ our own Embassy on the Citadel once the rebuilding is finished next month. We quarians are regaining our place in the galactic community." Tali blinked back tears, though she knew he couldn't see her smiling, so she touched his arm. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Garrus look away in irritation. It would have been endearing if she wasn't so happy for her people.

"Well, we'd better…" She began, gesturing to imply that they had to go.

Zev nodded down at her. "Me as well…I have a meeting with the human Councilor, who has been such an ally to the quarians," he informed her. "It was good to see you, Tali'Zorah. I hope we'll see each other soon. _Keelah se'lai."_

"_Keelah se'lai," _Tali echoed, watching him walk away with an uneasy feeling in her gut. "Sorry about that," She said to Garrus, slinging her bag over her shoulder.

"That was strangely awkward," He supplied, looking confused as he watched Zev'Nimah disappear into the crowd. "Old boyfriend?"

"Not…exactly…" Tali sighed, looking at the floor. "We are…_were _betrothed."

Garrus dropped his luggage. "Sorry, _what?"_

"It's part of our culture," Tali told him, defeated. "At fourteen years old, our fathers choose husbands for us. Of course, a lot has changed since then, but that's how it was. All quarian marriages were arranged."

"And now?" Garrus challenged, looking slightly ill.

Tali shrugged. "Things are different now. We're reclaiming our place in the galaxy. We will have to start looking outside our own people. And I have no intentions of marrying Zev'Nimah."

"Well, _that's_ reassuring," Garrus muttered, lifting his bags again. "Come on, Shepard just left the hospital. I want to see her."

Tali nodded, swallowing, and followed him, wishing she'd had the good sense to keep her mouth shut.

* * *

Kaidan had a bad feeling. He wasn't sure why, but the smallest things were setting him on edge. It wasn't as intense as the foreboding he'd felt say, right before the final battle, but he certainly felt _something. _Maybe it had been the urgency in Abby's voice. Maybe it was worry about Shepard, who had just emailed to let him know they'd gotten out of the hospital undetected, thanks to the lookalikes. Maybe it was guilt about leaving her when she needed him most to fly across the country.

But Shepard knew better than anyone that duty was important. Since he was responsible for the construction of the shelter, it was on his shoulders to see that these children were taken care of. Kaidan knew that Miranda was undoubtedly devastated that she'd been rejected by the Alliance to take the three children. Knowing her, she'd put on a brave face until safely ensconced in the privacy of her own room, and only then would she have allowed herself to cry. He already owed her too much; he had to make this right. He had to give _something_ back to the woman who had saved Shepard; had given so much of herself to this cause. Even if it was something as mundane as helping three children stay together, he would do it. For her.

The flight was mercifully fast, though there was a certain difference between space flight and airplanes. He much preferred the former. Even as a kid, when his Dad had taken them to Disney World, he hadn't liked the ear popping and the constant turbulence on the flight from Vancouver. Funny, that had been their last family vacation before he'd been sent to Brain Camp.

For a fleeting moment, Kaidan thought of Rahna; the sweet way she'd handled everyone. There wasn't a boy at BAaT who hadn't been enamored with her. She'd been his first kiss. It had been after a particularly grueling week. Vyrnnus had refused to let Rahna eat or drink for two full days when she refused to use her biotics to throw another student into a wall. Kaidan had snuck out of his bunk and crept over to the girls' dorm with some food he'd hidden from dinner, and he'd fed her. Granted, it had only been a couple of pieces of bread and some water from his canteen, but she'd been so grateful that she'd stood on her toes and quickly pressed her lips to his. Neither had said anything after that; he'd returned to his bunk and she'd gone back inside the dorm. It hadn't been mentioned again.

The following day, everything had changed. Vyrnnus had broken Rahna's arm when he'd finally granted her the privilege of drinking water and she'd weakly reached for it with her hand instead of using her biotics. The turian mercilessly snapped her delicate arm, and her aching sobs had broken something inside of Kaidan, and he'd retaliated with every ounce of biotic force he could conjure, snapping the commander's neck. Everything following was a blur of screams and movement while he'd stood frozen, staring at what he'd done. The last thing he'd remembered before he'd been sedated by the authorities was the horrified look on Rahna's beautiful, stricken face.

Kaidan shook his head, bringing himself back to the present as he walked through the doors of the shelter, glad for the cool blast of air conditioning in the sweltering heat of Phoenix. It was especially hot for November at nearly ninety degrees. It made him long for the crisp November air of Vancouver, sitting on his parents' back deck and drinking hot apple cider while his mother cooked and his father told the same stories he told over and over.

He missed his father.

They hadn't always seen eye to eye, but he'd been a good man. He'd taught Kaidan to be a good man, and he would have given anything to be able to thank him for that now.

Abby and Miranda were huddled together in the office, poring over some information. They looked up when he appeared in the doorway. The tightness in Abby's face seemed to relent slightly, but Miranda still looked tense. Her dark brows were furrowed as she bit her lip and glared at the screen.

"Unbelievable," She muttered, shaking her head. "They would rather have these poor kids scattered randomly across the country than in the care of someone who once worked for Cerberus."

"Once, I would have agreed with them," Kaidan told her gently.

Abby sighed, patting Miranda's shoulder. "I'm going to go make the rounds and see if Cara will eat something. Poor Molly doesn't need to be shouldering all of this responsibility." She nodded at Kaidan and left the room, closing the door behind her.

"That poor sixteen year old girl has been breaking her back to make sure her siblings are fed and clothed," Miranda told him as he pulled a chair over and sat beside her.

"Poor kid." Kaidan shook his head. "Probably hasn't even had time to grieve her own parents."

"She's very skittish," Miranda agreed. "She refuses to talk about it with Dr. Emmons, the counselor. She's terrified, the poor thing. I have a call into a family specialist, who is looking into living family members. Grandparents are all gone. No more immediate family. There was an aunt, but she's deceased as well. We're looking into cousins…" She deflated a little putting her face into her hand and exhaling.

"When's the last time you ate?" Kaidan asked, eyeing the dark circles beneath her light eyes. "Or slept?"

"I slept the night before last, and I ate lunch yester—" She began, weakly. Kaidan sighed, standing and pulling her up out of the chair. "What the hell are you do—"

"I'm taking you to the cafeteria to eat," He informed her, placing a hand at the small ofher back and ushering her out of the office. "And then, _you_ are going to bed."

"Kaidan, I can't! I have to—"

"If you force me to carry you, I will," He warned her, "Abby and I will take care of things until you wake up." She opened her mouth to protest, but he stopped her, placing his hands on her shoulders. "Miri, I _know_ how much you want to help the kids…but you're no _good_ to them dead on your feet. Please?"

"If I wanted to, I could—" She yawned. "—kick your ass biotically." Her eyes narrowed on him, "And, when did we get on a nickname basis, Alenko?" Another yawn. "Or should I start called you Kai?"

"Please don't call me Kai," He muttered. "My ancient great-aunt used to call me 'Kaibie-Baby'."

"But that's adorable," Miranda chuckled.

"I was eighteen," He added dryly, making her laugh harder. It was, he realized, the first time he'd ever heard her genuinely laugh. It was a welcome sound, making the tension of the outer world seem a distant threat. "Come on," He guided her toward the cafeteria. "I see Oriana."

"Oh, she's angry with me," Miranda told him, frowning. "We argued about her little Drell friend last evening." She huffed. "He has a criminal record."

Kaidan had to swallow another laugh. "Well, well…if that's not the pot calling the kettle black…" Her blue eyes blazed, making him chuckle, putting his hands up in surrender. "_I'm _just saying, Miranda, you want people to forget _your_ past…you should give Krios the same courtesy, ya know?"

She stared daggers at him for a moment, before shrugging helplessly. "Ori is all I have, Kaidan. If I can't protect _her…"_

"Oriana is a grown woman," He reminded her. "Twenty now, right?"

She nodded reluctantly. "Last month."

"She has the _right_ to make her own mistakes…stop trying to be her shield and be her sister," He put an encouraging arm around her slim shoulders. "Didn't you say yourself you didn't want to drive her away by trying to control her life?"

"Damn that memory of yours," Miranda grumbled.

After he'd made sure Miranda ate an acceptable amount of food (really, it was only a banana and a container of yogurt), he took her back to the room she was using and practically had to carry her the final steps to her bed. She was asleep before her head even hit the pillow.

It was strange, seeing the immovable Miranda Lawson that way, lying asleep with her dark hair fanned out around her head. She almost looked like a little girl rather than a woman of nearly thirty-seven. Of course, with her genetic engineering, she was probably closer to thirty, physically. She seemed almost fragile, as if a single touch could shatter her. Swallowing hard, Kaidan covered her with the thin blanket and swiftly left her to rest.

Abby was waiting for him in the office, looking a little worse for the wear herself. Her hair was wild around her face, barely bound together with the clip she had in it. Her glasses were halfway down her nose and she looked like she too hadn't slept in days.

"How are the kids?" Kaidan asked, thinking he'd go and see them after they were done in here.

"Cara finally ate a little bit," Abby admitted. "It was only a Peanut Butter and Jelly sandwich, but that's progress. The boy, Tyler, has had _no _trouble eating, on the other hand…I think that kid would eat the napkin if he could get away with it."

"And the older one? The girl?" Kaidan pressed, perching on the edge of the desk.

"Molly is so worried about the younger two, she's not thinking about herself. I think she's the only one who really grasps the reality of the situation," She took a deep breath, rubbing her temple, "Tyler is thirteen, so he's oblivious and Cara is seven. And mute at the moment." Shaking her head, she met his eyes. Kaidan was a little jarred to realize they were full of unshed tears. "I don't know how to _help_ them, Kaidan."

"You're already helping them," He assured her. Abby's eyes widened suddenly as she opened her desk drawer and withdrew something familiar. It was a slightly outdated Omni-tool.

Ashley's Omni-tool.

"You said you knew a girl," Abby reminded him. Kaidan nodded, feeling a slight twinge of sadness as he pulled up Samantha Traynor in his contacts and pressed the "CALL" button. She answered after a few moments, wearing an oversized Oxford University shirt and pajama pants with cartoon penguins on them.

"Major Alenko?" Her voice was hesitant, but she was smiling. He realized that there was a ten hour time difference between Phoenix and London, which meant she'd either been in bed or ready for it.

"I'm so sorry to bother you this late—"

"Is it Shepard?" Her voice dropped worriedly, "I thought she'd woken up—"

"Shepard is fine," Kaidan told her, "I actually need your help with something. For a friend."

"_My_ help?" Traynor sounded skeptical.

"You're a Comm Specialist," He pointed out, holding up the console that comprised Ash's dormant Omni-tool. "We don't have the passcode."

"Oh," Samantha sagged in relief, perking up. "That's an easy fix. I have an app here on mine that can override it."

"What do you need?"

"The serial number on the bottom of the console," Traynor told him, placing her Omni-tool on her arm. "Once I have it the app will decode it and give me an override code so that you can access the information. Are we hacking an enemy?"

"My dead sister, actually," Abby's wry voice came from beside Kaidan. He gave her a look of exhaustion. She shrugged. "Well, it's _true."_

"Sam, this is Abby Williams. Sister of Ashley Williams…she's a joy," Kaidan explained to the confused Comm Specialist.

"It's true, I am," Abby nodded, grinning at Sam, who managed a nervous smile.

"The um…" Traynor cleared her throat, "The serial number, Kaidan?"

"Zero-eight-seven-three-eight- five dash C."

"Got it," Sam told him, peering into the screen. "The override code is…six-zero-eight-five-one."

Kaidan quickly punched the numbers into the Omni-tool and smiled when it activated and the screen flashed.

_Welcome, Chief Williams. _

A stab of grief pierced his heart at the name. The last time this screen had flashed, Ashley had been the one reading these words. It had been three years since she'd been alive, but the same gnawing guilt ate at him. Those frantic final moments when Shepard was forced to choose between them, Kaidan had wanted her to save Ash; had _begged_ her to save Ashley. But, Shepard had chosen him, and in that moment, Kaidan had never felt more desperate…or guiltier.

He knew he'd been chosen because of Shepard's feelings for him, but that wasn't why he felt guilty. In truth, Kaidan felt guilty, because he was _relieved_ that Shepard had saved him. There had been an overwhelming wave of relief, followed by happiness, followed by complete and utter horror.

Ashley was dead because of him. And he was happy to be _alive._ In that moment, he'd wished Shepard _had_ chosen Ashley, because he didn't deserve to live when she couldn't. It had been something that would plague Kaidan's nightmares, among other things, for the next three years. Between BAaT, Ashley's death and then Shepard's death by the Collectors, Kaidan had not slept well in a very long time.

Even on the Normandy SR-2, when he'd shared Shepard's cabin, he'd never slept soundly, flitting in and out of nightmares.

With her Omni-tool alight before them, it was almost like Ashley wasn't really gone; like she was just in the other room…or on a mission somewhere. Kaidan sifted through some of Ash's messages, which were mostly to and from her mother or her sisters; sometimes Shepard or even him.

There were some files on the device containing poetry and various digital books. There was a filed titled "Williams Family" which was full of family history, important docs, family photos and lineage tracing back for centuries. There was really nothing out of the ordinary, until he found the file titled "Kaidan" and his stomach filled with dread. Kaidan had no idea what he would find there, but he vaguely realized that Abby had left him alone and the line with Traynor had been cut, leaving him shrouded in the dim light of the office.

Reluctantly, he opened the file, finding a typed document. Kaidan fervently wished that he was strong enough to leave it unread, but he couldn't. Ashley had wanted him to see it, and he owed her his life.

_**Kaidan-**_

_**I really hope you never have to read this, but if you are, it's because I'm dead. It's a little pathetic that I probably never told you when I was alive. I really hope that you and Shepard are living in some huge house in Vancouver, taking care of a bunch of babies right now. **_

_**The truth is, Kaidan…I'm a coward. **_

_**I don't mean as a soldier, because I'm a damn good soldier. What I'm really afraid of is…me. More specifically, my feelings…for you. **_

_**This is so juvenile, and you probably don't want to hear it, but I think I'm in love with you. It's silly and embarrassing and completely inappropriate, but you're the first guy who ever made me feel like I wanted that life…the house with two kids and a dog. You make me long for that back deck you told me about in Vancouver, with the view of the trees and snow.**_

_**I've never said anything, because well…Shepard. And regs…but mostly because I know how much you love her. I owe her everything…you two are the reason I got my chance, and for that, I'll never be able to repay either of you. **_

_**I just…thought you should know. I'm sorry. I wish things could be different.**_

_**All I want is for you to be happy. Don't ever settle for anything less. **_

_**Ash**_

Kaidan was vaguely aware of something wet on his hand, and he realized it had fallen from his face. It wasn't the overwhelming realization of what Ashley's confession implied. It wasn't even grief; not really. It was regret. It was clarity. All of the times Ash had listened to him talk about his feelings for Shepard, and he'd never known that while he railed on about the woman he loved, she'd been provided an ear, all the while holding in feelings for _him._

If he'd known, if things had been different…

Well, he never would know. Ashley was gone. All that was left of her were words on a hard drive and pictures. Her body lay on Virmire, in pieces after being blown to ash.

_Ash_…the irony was unbearable.

Wordlessly, he closed the Omni-tool after changing the passcode and buried his face in his hands, thinking back to one of their conversations down near their lockers. They were packing up, getting ready for a mission the next day. Everyone else had gone to bed.

"_Got everything?" Kaidan asked, reaching around Ashley to put his newly cleaned rifle into his locker. She ducked out of the way, keeping her head down. _

"_Yep," She nodded, biting her lip. "Shepard's getting a little cozy with that asari, isn't she?" Ashley muttered, glancing up at him. Kaidan's eyebrows rose, but he kept his composure. _

"_She's just worried about her…I mean, her mother's gone rogue. The girl was stuck in a Prothean security device for God knows how long." Ashley nodded curtly, looking tense. "You don't think Liara's…interested…?" _

"_All I know is, that asari has been making eyes at Shepard since she came on board…and Shep's not really doing anything to stop it," She shrugged. _

"_Shepard's not into women though…" He swallowed hard, trying not to be discouraged. "Is she?" _

"_What if she is?" Ashley asked, though she wasn't being cruel. Her voice was full of empathy. _

"_I mean…I don't know," Kaidan admitted, "She's the first woman I've really thought about in…a long time." _

_It fell silent for a moment, before Ashley managed a small smile. "Well, if she doesn't see what she has right in front of her, it's her loss, L.T." _

"_I shouldn't even be talking about this," He sighed, "It's against pretty much every Alliance rule. You don't pursue your commanding officer." _

"_The heart wants what it wants," Ash told him, swallowing and turning back to her terminal screen. _

Kaidan had left her there, retreating to his own bunk and returning to thoughts of Shepard. Her words held more meaning now that he knew…now that he'd seen how Ashley had really felt. He bowed his head, closing his eyes against the burning promise of tears and silently promised to try and make the gift she'd given him – his _life – _count.

Somehow.

* * *

Shepard had never been so grateful for silence as she was once they'd made their escape from the hospital. Liara was practically heaving with motion sickness as Joker drove the ground car. Privately, Shepard noted with amusement that it was probably a good thing she couldn't drive yet. The poor thing would be hanging out the window, and she was pretty sure Jeff would have a fit if Liara barfed all over the upholstery of his car. Her eyes cast sideways at him, green eyes fixed on the road with his face set in a tense, emotionless mask. She felt terrible for him. Of course, the ass was too stubborn to show that he was grieving because, like all men, human or otherwise, apparently emotions show weakness.

But nobody understood like Shepard did. She hated crying in front of people. She could count on one hand how many times any of her crew had seen her cry. It was the reason the envelope from Anderson sat unopened in her bag. Opening that letter meant that he was really gone; the closest thing to family she'd had left.

Another parting gift from the Reapers.

Kaidan had just called to let her know he'd landed in Phoenix and would be in touch. Shepard had felt a strange twinge of resentment, even though she knew it was for a good cause. It certainly wasn't like her to feel insecure, but something about waking up after five months in a medically induced coma made one feel the need for affection. She had never been the type to play kissy face, not even when she'd been young with her first real boyfriend back in her early days with the Alliance.

Lieutenant Josh Avery.

He'd been her first…_everything_. It seemed like a past life; it _had_ been. They'd met in training and had dated for three years, despite being assigned to different Divisions. They'd finally managed to get a shore leave at the same time, and had taken the opportunity to go to Elysium, where everything had gone wrong.

Josh had proposed to her, catching her completely off guard. Her hesitation had led to an argument, after which they'd split up.

The following day, he was dead; murdered by batarians at twenty-one years old.

Elysium held nothing but bad memories for Alex, and she hadn't ever returned. She'd lost her boyfriend there; her sister. She thought of the small jewelry box she kept, which contained a gold locket. It was all she had left of Ana, even though it was a constant reminder of Mindoir. She fervently hoped that someone had thought to grab it out of her cabin when they'd left the Normandy.

She thought wistfully of her spacious cabin with the glowing fish tank and the king sized bed. It had been home. Now, it was…well, if rumors were true, it was a goddamn novelty attraction, which made her want to unload some ammo. The thought of her ship; her _life_…being paraded to the general public; it _infuriated_ her. And the worst part was that she'd heard about it on a tabloid show on T.V. No one had even had the _balls_ to say it to her face.

They finally came to a stop, bringing Shepard out of her thoughts as she glanced in the back seat. Liara's face was a violent shade of purple, covered in a light sheen of sweat, while Javik glared out the window.

"I'm so sorry…" Liara told them breathlessly, hoisting her door open and leaning out of the car, unleashing the contents of her stomach onto the cement. Joker sighed in relief, obviously glad that his upholstery hadn't been defiled by asari puke. Shepard rolled her eyes at him.

"What?" He replied defensively to her expression, "They're custom."

"You're an ass," She told him, turning to check on their pregnant passenger. "You okay back there?"

"I'm fine," Liara assured her, giving her standard "I'm in hell, but I don't want to show it" response.

"She's not," Javik added, meeting Shepard's eyes knowingly.

"Oh, don't listen to him," Liara retorted, glaring at the Prothean. "He's just—" Her eyes widened as she leaned out of the car again, just in time to repeat the earlier process. She glanced around sheepishly when she was done, seeing Shepard's brow quirked at her.

"You were saying?" Alex commented dryly, smirking. "Come on, someone help me out of this thing." Javik was the first out of the car, coming around to her door and practically dragging her out of the seat. "Easy on the ribs, Buddy," She told him, laughing a little as he supported her weight, helping her to the door.

"This isn't fair," Joker whined after giving his keys to the valet and limping over to them, "You're stealing my cripple thunder, Shep."

"Yeah, sorry," Shepard told him breathlessly, struggling to move her bum leg with muscles that apparently hated her. She glanced sideways at him, and noticed he was giving her a strange look. "Why don't you take a picture, Moreau? It'll last longer," She snapped, but noticed him grin. It eased the tension slightly.

"This is pathetic," Joker huffed as they reached the elevator and Shepard followed Kaidan's instructions, scanning the keycard to the apartment and pressing the button for the twenty-first floor. "We have a crabby fifty-thousand year old Prothean, a pregnant asari, a pilot with shitty bones and a decrepit war hero between the four of us. So much for being legends."

"Don't speak too soon," Liara cut in, wincing as the elevator shot upward, making them all groan. "We still have to survive the Star of Terra ceremony next week in London."

"I'm sorry, what?" Shepard responded, looking at her companions expectantly.

"Didn't Kaidan tell you?" Liara looked at them in bemusement. "I received the email from the Alliance this morning."

"I haven't checked my email," Shepard admitted, looking at Joker, who shrugged.

"I've been…uh, busy…?" He offered.

Shepard and Liara met eyes knowingly, saying at the same time, "Porn."

Javik let out a sound of disgust. "In my cycle, it was against the law to pleasure yourself. It was considered an unnecessary distraction and was punishable by—"

"Death," The others finished for him, earning a baleful glare.

"So, you're saying you've never…" Joker waggled his eyebrows suggestively, "Ya know…?"

"I didn't say that," Javik answered stoically, stepping out of the elevator as the doors slid open, leaving the trio standing inside with their mouths hanging open.

"I think I'm going to be ill again," Liara moaned, following reluctantly.

"I can never unhear that," Shepard muttered to Joker, who helped her out of the elevator. "Thanks for bringing it up."

"Um, if memory serves correctly, oh wise Commander, _you_ and your sexy blue friend were the ones who said 'porn'; not _me."_ He gave her a cocky grin, guiding her to the door and looking around, letting out a low whistle. "Jesus, look at this place. Alenko's been holding out on us."

"It's kind of…huge," Shepard agreed, eyeing the antique wood carved mahogany. Penthouses had never really been her thing. She'd never been one for extravagance. Even Anderson's Citadel apartment had been a bit much for her taste. Simplicity had been everything for her family. They'd lived off of the soil and had found happiness beyond the constant, gleaming, industrial bustle of Earth. Scanning the keycard, the door whirred open, revealing a bright, stylistic apartment, complimented with a wall of windows and abstract furniture. It was _so_ Kaidan, it brought a smile to her face. The kitchen, off to the right, was open with marble countertops and state of the art machinery.

"So, what's this about the Star of Terra ceremony?" Shepard asked, sinking down onto the sofa, which was not made for comfort. Liara sat beside her, sagging against the back with her eyes closed. Shepard noted, with a hint of surprise, that there was a faint blue glow around her. Tiredly, Liara brought up her Omni-tool, pulling up the message to show her.

_November 13, 2186_

_Message From: Wyndam, Aurelia_

_Re: Star of Terra Ceremony_

_Dr. T'Soni, _

_The Alliance formally requests your presence at Oxford University in London, England on Saturday, November 26, 2186. You have been honored with receiving the Star of Terra at the Grand Opening of The Normandy Experience._

_The Alliance thanks you for all you've done for Earth and for the Galaxy. _

_Cordially, _

_Aurelia Wyndham_

_Alliance Public Relations_

Liara closed the message when Shepard signaled that she'd finished reading. Looking up, she scowled. If there was one thing Alex was not a fan of, it was P.R. people. Diana Allers had been a big enough pain in the ass, but publicists were even worse. Another thing Shepard didn't enjoy was being on display. Which was exactly what would happen at that ceremony. She considered telling them that she wouldn't attend, but her mind drifted to that unopened letter in her bag. She thought of all of the people who had died for their cause; Mordin…EDI…Legion…Anderson…

She owed it to them to take the award and acknowledge their role in the defeat of the Reapers.

Once again, Joker had fallen silent and grim and moved to the window, looking down at the streets below, watching skycars in the distance. Javik hovered near the opposite end of the window, staring straight ahead in thought. Liara was fighting a losing battle trying to keep her eyes open. Her head kept drifting forward and popping back up.

"Liara," Javik's stern voice came from behind her. "Go to sleep before you shatter these windows too!"

"You shattered windows?" Shepard inquired with mild curiosity.

"At the Flight Station," Liara yawned. "I didn't mean to…it's the baby. Her developing biotics cause me to have flares."

"Not bad for something the size of a peanut," Shepard noted with laughter, making Liara turn violet.

"She's actually the size of a plum now," The asari explained, sagging a little. "Only ten more months."

"Well, at least you don't have to wait to find out if it's a girl or boy," She pointed out.

"I don't envy the asari," Joker spoke up, "You're screwed no matter what. I need at least the _hope_ of a boy…me as the father of a girl…could be frightening."

"You as a father _period_ could be frightening," Shepard quipped. "I feel sorry for the poor woman who ends up with your spawn in her belly." He made a sound that was neither a laugh nor a snort and turned back toward the window with a tight expression on his face. Shepard cringed, wishing she could shoot herself in the foot. It was an old habit of theirs, making crude, deprecating jokes…but that had been before she had killed his girlfriend.

There was a loud buzz, causing Shepard to start violently and Javik to draw his gun. With a touch of embarrassment, she realized it was the intercom from the front desk downstairs. Joker gave them a wary look, crossing to the comm and pressing the button.

"Yeah?"

"Major Alenko?" The female voice came through. Joker raised an eyebrow, shrugging.

"Sure, why not?"

"There are two people here to see you. A turian and a quarian." The woman's voice was cautious. "Shall I send them away?"

"Garrus and Tali?" Liara suggested, brightening significantly. Shepard's mood improved immediately, meeting her eyes and nodding.

"Send them up," Joker instructed, giving them a thumbs up.

"Very good," the woman replied as the line went dead.

Joker puffed himself up straight, putting on a haughty expression. "Major…I could get used to that."

"Oh Goddess…" Liara murmured, though she was smirking, rising off of the sofa and crossing to the door to let in their friends. The elevator was just opening as the door to the penthouse slid open, revealing two distinctly tense figures. Shepard almost burst out laughing at the sight. Garrus was wearing the turian equivalent of a Hawaiian shirt in a tunic and pants. Gone was the blue armor he'd always worn on the Normandy. Tali, however, was the real surprise. She was dressed in her usual quarian suit, but her fuchsia mask was in her hand, leaving her lovely face exposed. Shepard had seen it once before, on Rannoch, after the quarians had won back their home. To the others, it was new.

Liara reached her first, throwing her arms around their friend. "My goodness," she mused, "I never imagined!"

Joker held his arms out to Garrus, who gave him an odd look, passing him and moving straight to Shepard, pulling her into a hug. She laughed, despite herself, patting him on the back. "Good to see you, Vakarian," she grinned.

"_So_ good, Shepard," he told her earnestly. "Don't ever pull a stunt like that again, okay?"

Her eyes stung at his words, but she blinked and managed a nod. "Yeah," she whispered. Tali was next, putting her arms around Shepard from behind and sandwiching human between quarian and turian. Despite her slightly ridiculous emotions, Shepard couldn't suppress a chuckle.

"You look good, Tali'Zorah," She teased as Joker slipped between them, putting his hand out for Tali to take.

"Hi. Jeff Moreau," He gave her a flirtatious grin, "Have I mentioned you were always my favorite?"

"Still a pervert, Joker," Tali giggled, hugging him carefully. "Good to see you." To Shepard's surprise, she kissed the helmsman on the cheek, making him blush.

"Don't get any ideas, Moreau," Garrus said in mock warning, patting Joker on the shoulder. "I missed you, you brittle boned bastard."

"Aw, you too, you disfigured turian shit," Joker threw his arms around Garrus, kissing him on the mouth and grinning from ear to ear. Shepard looked at Javik, who was disgusted with the obvious display of bromance.

"Is it just me, or is this kind of disturbing?" Shepard asked Tali and Liara.

The Prothean stepped in. "In my cycle, to show such affection toward another male was punishable by—"

"Death?" Tali guessed fondly, smiling up at Javik. He shook his head.

"Castration," he corrected, almost looking close to a smile.

"So, you guys heard about this circus parade they're forcing us into, I take it?" Joker asked, referred to the Star of Terra.

"Yeah…" Garrus nodded, "Can you believe what they're doing with the Normandy? It's a damn tourist attraction now."

"I'd like to give that Wyndham woman a few choice words," Shepard agreed, fuming at the thought of kids running through her ship, touching things that they'd never been meant to lay hands on. Her eyes fell on Joker, who looked like someone had slapped him. She understood, because they'd both been with the SR-2 from day one. They'd named it; made it their home. The others had followed, but it had been them from the start. To let people into their home…it felt cheap. It felt _wrong._ "We'll get her back," She said, patting his arm and making him jump. His eyes fell accusingly on her.

"No," He said in a clipped tone, "We won't." And she knew he wasn't just talking about the ship. Once again, she filled with guilt, hating herself for making the decisions; hating the Catalyst for putting her in that position. "Shep," He said in a chiding voice, "Stop blaming yourself, damn you. I'm not mad at _you._ I just…the ship. She's not the same without—" He stopped himself, staring unblinking at the wall. "Y'know."

"We all miss her," Tali added, giving Joker a sympathetic look.

"Oh no…" Liara moaned, going pale again and dashing for the bathroom, which was…somewhere. She settled for a trash bin just inside the kitchen.

"Is she…okay?" Garrus asked, eyeing the asari with a wary eye.

"Oh, she's fine," Shepard assured him. "She's just pregnant."

Tali's eyes immediately fell on the Prothean. "I _knew_ it!" She exclaimed triumphantly, pointing at him. Javik gave her a blank stare.

"The child is not mine, quarian," He informed her, rolling his eyes.

"What?" Tali looked from him to the heaving asari in confusion. "Then who…?"

"Oh, it's mine," Joker answered in a serious tone. Tali gasped, gold eyes wide with surprise.

"When did you…?"

"Seriously?" He chuckled. "You're even easier than Liara! It's some Drell dude!"

"His name is Feron," Liara said defensively, returning to the group with a tired look on her face. "He's the one Shepard helped me save when I overthrew the Shadow Broker. He is the reason Shepard is standing here today, because he sacrificed himself to the Shadow Broker so that I could retrieve her body."

"When do we get to meet the big sweetheart?" Joker queried, folding his arms and looking at Shepard suggestively. She rolled her eyes.

"He is running my base on Mars while Javik and I attend to Shepard," She revealed. "He will be at the ceremony next week."

"Enough badgering the pregnant woman," Shepard scolded, swatting at Joker. She sighed, glancing at the clock and frowning. It had been hours since Kaidan had left and he still hadn't messaged to let her know that he had arrived in Phoenix. The physical therapist would be arriving soon, and after that, the nurse who would help her into the shower. She contemplated calling him instead, but decided against it. Kaidan was nothing if not honorable, and he was probably busy with what he'd gone to Phoenix to accomplish.

Shepard looked back toward her group of friends and crewmates; her family, and decided that she would let him get to her on his own time. Five months was a long time and she had catching up to do.

* * *

"Any luck?" Kaidan's voice came from the doorway just as the sun began to disappear over the horizon, cloaking the room in brilliant pinks and oranges. Miranda sighed tiredly, turning toward him.

"Not quite yet. I'm waiting to hear back from Family Services," She told him, brushing a stray strand of black hair out of her face. "Did Cara…?"

"Abby got her to eat a sandwich and some soup. Her sister was helpful," Kaidan told her, making her sigh in relief.

"I've never had a problem I didn't know how to solve," She mused. "Who would have guessed that something as simple as three lost children would be such a quandary?"

"Simple doesn't always mean easy, Miri," Kaidan told her, sitting beside her on the bench. "I'm sorry about the rejection…" He sighed. "I can always try to pull some strings—"

"No, Kaidan," Miranda's eyes hardened. "If I'm to build a reputation with the Alliance, it has to be on my terms. I don't want anyone buying me favor."

"You know it's not like that, Miranda," He told her. Miranda stared at his profile for a moment, trying to memorize every detail of his face. The fine line of his nose, the bright amber of his eyes; the way his black lashes fanned out around his eyes. She noted, with a touch of sadness, that he was beautiful.

She wished he were ugly; or had a temper; or maybe even a drinking problem. The biggest problem with Kaidan Alenko was not that he wore an obscene amount of hair gel...or that he was a little self-righteous…

The problem with Kaidan Alenko was that the more Miranda Lawson learned about him, the more she liked him. The last thing Miranda ever would want would be to fall for the man who loved Commander Shepard. She loved Shepard as dearly as she loved her own sister. Shepard was the closest thing to family that Miranda had ever known.

Things had been tense at first, when the Normandy had returned to the Sol System. Kaidan hadn't trusted Miranda because of her affiliation with Cerberus. She hadn't particularly enjoyed him either, likening him to an annoying little gnat you can't seem to bat away from your face. Then, things had changed. He'd overheard her talking to her sister about the shelter and had actually offered to help them. He'd used his Spectre status and his rank as an Alliance officer and he'd helped make a place that people could come to feel safe. It wasn't as if he'd just thrown his name around either. He'd actually rolled up his sleeves and had helped work on the complex; painting, hammering, installing sinks and toilets.

For the first time, she felt something she had felt very rarely in her miserable, lonely life. Miranda respected Kaidan Alenko, and not many people could claim that prize. He was more than just a handsome soldier in a uniform. He was a good _man._

Which was why she was going to distance herself. She was going to ask the Alliance for a transfer out into the Attican Traverse…to one of the colonies, where she could work at a hospital as a medical consultant. She had a vast educational pedigree in the medical field, though she never had wanted to actually be a doctor. She was more of an administrator than a healer, overseeing recovery, giving input. It was also hard to finish med school, when one was on the run from one's own father.

She despised Henry Lawson for driving her into the arms of Cerberus and the reach of The Illusive Man.

"You've already done too much for me," Miranda finally answered Kaidan. "Besides, if the Family Services contact finds someone, the children should go to them. They'll be safer. I just…" She shook her head, sighing. "Those poor kids…their parents weren't even killed by Reapers. It was a drifter, who just happened to come upon their small farm and decided to kill two innocent people. Molly told me that the children hid in the cellars below." She winced. "And now, there are reports of terrorist activity by some religious cult, it's…" Miranda met his eyes in exhaustion, "I thought with the Reapers gone, we'd have some peace, but it's not any better, is it? It's just a smaller scale."

"Reapers or no Reapers…there will always be bad people out there," Kaidan told her gently, covering her hand comfortingly with his. Miranda swallowed hard as her eyes fell on his hand, willing herself not to feel anything as she looked up at him. "I'm glad I was wrong about you, though. I'm sorry for being such an ass when we first met."

"I was no better," She chuckled. "I've always had a bit of an arrogance problem."

"You?" Kaidan grinned. "No…"

"Now, you're being an ass again," She warned, though she was smiling too, feeling warmth fill her stomach. His eyes suddenly fell downward, to his hand over hers, the smile leaving his face. She began to pull her hand back, but he grabbed it, clasping them together palm to palm. Miranda's eyes widened and her pulse began to race with panic and fear and more than a little guilt. "Kaidan, I—" She cut off when he looked up suddenly, and for one terrifying moment, she thought he might kiss her.

Mercifully, her Omni-tool pinged, allowing her to snatch her hand back and Kaidan to retreat in horror, looking somewhat like he wanted to swallow bleach. He rose suddenly, backing away from her as if she'd slapped him.

"I have to go and call Shepard," He told her quickly. "She's probably worried and I want to make sure she got home safely." He left with haste, disappearing back inside the tall apartment complex as the doors slid closed behind him.

Miranda ignored her rapid fire heart beat, casting her eyes on the screen of her Omni-tool, bringing up her messages. It was Family Services.

_November 13, 2186_

_From: Clayton, Leo_

_Re: Hathaway Children_

_Miss Lawson, _

_We are happy to inform you that we've found a living family member for Margaret, Tyler and Cara Hathaway. We have found a first cousin on the maternal side of the family. _

_See information below:_

_*(d) denotes deceased_

_*(a) denotes living _

_Subjects:_

_Hathaway, Margaret J._

_b. August 16, 2170_

_Hathway, Tyler D._

_b. June 6, 2174_

_Hathaway, Cara M. _

_b. January 26, 2179_

_Father:_

_Hathaway, Mark D. (d)_

_Paternal Grandparents:_

_Hathaway, Robert F. (d)_

_Carraway, Evelyn A. (d)_

_Maternal Aunts/Uncles:_

_None_

_Mother:_

_Ellis, Katharine E._

_Maternal Grandparents:_

_Ellis, Andrew J. (d)_

_Jefferson, Jane A. (d)_

_Maternal Aunts/Uncles:_

_Ellis, Hannah M. (d)_

_Shepard John A._

_Maternal Cousins:_

_Shepard, Blake S. (d)_

_Shepard, Anastasia L. (d)_

_**Shepard, Alexandra J. (a)**_

_We wish you the best of luck in the care of Margaret, Tyler and Cara, and we sincerely hope you will use International Family Services for any needs the ALAS Foundation may have in future. _

_Regards, _

_Leo Clayton_

_Location Services_

_IFS_

Slowly, Miranda closed her messages and vacated the bench, drifting toward the door into the building and trying to think of how to break the news to Kaidan and, even more so, Shepard.

* * *

**Sorry for the wait! It was a big one. (That's what she said.)**

**C.B. **


	7. Chapter 6

Joker stared miserably at lights of New York from the vast windows of Alenko's penthouse, thinking of his sister. It had been so long since he'd seen Hilary; the last time had been during Christmas of '84, when he'd been grounded after Shepard's death. Everything had fallen apart, the crew had split and everything he'd work for; every ounce of respect he'd busted his ass to gain was forgotten and he was once again nothing but a joke to the Alliance. Even Anderson, with his newfound position on the Council, hadn't been able to pull strings for him.

It had been bad enough living with the guilt over Shepard dying to save him, reliving her death every single time he closed his eyes as she clutched helplessly at her throat, suffocating while he watched with no way to save her. His morale sometimes dropped so low that he'd wished she'd have just let him go down with the ship. The galaxy _needed_ Commander Shepard. It wouldn't even notice if Jeff Moreau was gone.

Joker had fallen into a depression like nothing he'd ever known. He'd drunk himself into a blackout more nights than not. He'd paid for things he wasn't proud of and had depleted almost every credit of savings he had. Rock bottom had finally come when he'd left a bar without paying his tab and he'd gotten arrested for punching the bartender.

His father had been the one to come to his aid, bailing him out and bringing him to Tiptree for Christmas. It had been years since he'd celebrated the ancient Christian holiday. His mother had still been alive. Jeff had long since forgiven his father for leaving his mother on Arcturus with a twelve year old could who could barely walk, and he'd made his peace with his stepmother Audrina, but things were still oddly tense. He could not suppress the niggling feeling in the back of his mind that he did not belong with this family of three. He wondered if Audrina thought of him as the damaged reminder that his father had been married to another woman.

Hilary was another story. The feisty little girl with the dark hair and freckles had an innate way of disarming a person, speaking with surprising clarity in her young age. He'd nicknamed her "Gunny" when she was six, because she was always saying how she wanted to be a pilot and fly those "ships with the big guns". Joker could not deny the pride he felt that his sister wanted to follow in his footsteps.

That Christmas, he'd been surprised to find the adorable little girl with the big teeth was rapidly growing into a young woman at thirteen years old. Gone were the round cheeks of her childhood; Hilary had grown nearly a foot in the time since he'd last seen her (A birthday party in '82). His father and Audrina had gone into town to pick up a last minute shipment that had flown in from the Citadel. Despondent over his recent woes, Jeff had drifted miserably through his father's farmhouse, too stubborn to use his crutches and had fallen into his sister's room when his stepmother's damned cat had run between his legs. Thankfully, he'd stopped his fall by gripping the door handle.

When he'd reclaimed his wits and had looked around Gunny's room, he was filled with awe as he realized that, rather than the trashy posters of teen heartthrobs that most thirteen year old girls seemed to love, her walls were covered in printed off news articles.

_Flight Lieutenant Jeffrey Moreau Hand-Picked by Captain David Anderson to Helm Cutting Edge Alliance Ship_

_Commander Shepard Commends Crew for Their Role In Defeat of Spectre Saren Arterius_

His eyes had burned and his throat had caught embarrassingly as he'd realized that Hilary collected news articles that mentioned him.

"Jeff?" Her voice had come from the hallway, surprising him. He'd thought she'd left with her parents.

"Sorry Gun," He'd sighed, "Had a little fall."

"Are you okay?" Her blue eyes had filled with concern. "Should I get your crutches?"

"I'm fine," He assured her, nodding to the walls of her room. "Nice collection kid. A little stalkerish, but y'know, nice." Gunny had grinned at him with a familiar gleam in her eyes.

"Well, not every girl can say her brother's a famous pilot," Hilary replied, sitting beside him on her bed. "I can," she added proudly. Joker had stared at his sister in disbelief, giving a derisive chuckle.

"I'm not sure if that really applies anymore, Gun," he told her, sighing. "Since Shepard—" He stopped himself, eyes widening. It had been the first time he'd spoken of her since the memorial on Earth. "Well, you know…_she_ was a hero. I was just her pilot."

"You're a hero, Jeff," Hilary had insisted, throwing her arms around him carefully (she knew not to squeeze too hard). "You want to know why I collect these news articles? It's not because of Shepard…or the Normandy – although the Normandy _was_ awesome –"

"You bet your ass – er –_butt_ it was…_shit,_ sorry!" He realized he'd _again_ sworn and groaned. "_Shoot."_

"Jeff, I'm thirteen years old, not five." Hilary rolled her eyes, "But, the real reason I collect this stuff is _you_." Earnest blue eyes met green. "You're _my_ hero."

Joker would never admit to it (and if anyone called him on it, he'd say they were a damn liar), but he'd gotten choked up to the point where he couldn't speak and had put an arm around Hilary's slim shoulders, pulling her tightly into his side and feeling something he hadn't felt in a long time; _hope._

That night he'd stared at his reflection in the mirror, eyeing the dark eyed stranger with the grim expression on his bearded face. This wasn't him. Yes, he was still a smart mouthed asshole with the disposition of a pissed off Varren. He was Jeff Moreau, and damned if he was going to disappoint that little girl. If Shepard had taught him anything, it was that if you inspired just one person in your life, then your life was worth something.

He'd vowed to do better; _be_ better. For Hilary. One week later, Cerberus had found him and had given him an offer he couldn't refuse.

And now, Hilary was gone. The lights of New York glistened in the dark of the night, reminding him of the stars he'd become so familiar with. And Hilary would never be able to see a sight like this; she would never become the pilot she'd been destined to be and he would never see her smile again.

But Shepard was alive. She was a little tired and more than a little broken, but she was _alive._ She was _still_ fighting. Joker's eyes fell to his bandaged right hand, purple and swollen from his display of anger at the hospital that morning. An embarrassing reminder than he was weak. He'd fallen back into old habits, drinking and sleeping around to push away reality. Hilary would not have wanted this for him. Dad wouldn't have wanted this for him.

His mother would have been appalled by his behavior.

In that moment, he would have done anything just to have her hold him; something he'd always hated as a kid. Jeff had never enjoyed being coddled, fiercely independent and inherently defiant.

How many second chances could one man get?

Joker turned away from the window, glancing around the empty room. Javik was lurking in the kitchen, furiously messaging with Liara's Drell Baby Daddy. Liara was passed out in the guest bedroom in some asari pregnancy induced coma. Garrus and Tali had left hours ago to check into their hotel. Shepard was finally asleep after an exhausting and grueling physical therapy session. Joker had attempted to encourage her as she struggled to lift her leg using a light weight.

"Really, Commander?" He'd quipped, "Is the Savior of the Galaxy gonna be brought down by a five pound leg weight?"

Green eyes had narrowed on him, promising death. "Joker," She'd spoken in a low, lethal voice. "Every time I lift this leg from now on, I'm going to use the image of me kicking you in the balls as inspiration until I'm strong enough to actually do it."

It had killed her, he could tell, being so vulnerable; feeling weak, but Jeff knew better than to pity her. He, of all people, understood the frustration one could feel toward their own body.

The shrill ping of an Omni-tool pierced the air, making Joker lunge for it, glancing toward the bedroom where Shepard slept.

It was Alenko. Joker sighed, quickly pressing the "Answer" button. Kaidan's image appeared before him.

"Oh, Joker…uh, hey," The Major said tiredly, looking confused.

"Hey…" He replied, trying to sound nonchalant and ending up sounding like a kid going through puberty.

"Is Shepard around?"

"Oh, uh…she's in bed. Physical therapy was kind of rough," He told Kaidan, who nodded, wincing.

"I would have called sooner, it's just been…busy here," He explained. "Listen Joker, can you tell her to give me a call when she wakes up in the morning? It can wait."

"Yeah, okay," Jeff answered.

"Hey, are you alright?" Kaidan asked, sounding concerned.

Joker waved him off. "Yeah…fine. Don't worry about it. I'll give Shep the message."

"Thanks," Kaidan told him sincerely, before the connection closed.

"Okay, that was kind of weird," Joker muttered, sneaking a glance over at Prothy, who was murmuring to himself in some indiscernible babble as he typed furiously on his own Omni-tool. The only recognizable words Joker was able to make out were "damned Drell" and "Kahje". He shook his head, turning toward the bedroom where Shepard slept. He should probably check in on her and make sure she was actually asleep.

The door was cracked open and he could see the faint light from the bedside lamp peeking through, indicating that Shep was awake. He groaned, wondering if he'd have to sedate her to make sure she actually _did_ sleep. Carefully, he inched the door open, peering in, and saw her sitting up in the bed, facing the wall opposite him. Her auburn head was bowed, shielding her face and her shoulders were slumped. He almost backed out, wanting to give her privacy until he heard a faint sniff; then another.

_Shit._

Joker had never seen Shepard cry. They'd worked together for three years (Well, technically it was closer to one and a half since she'd been out of commission for two of those years) and she had never ever showed that kind of emotion in front of them. He'd seen her pissed to the point of violence; _that_ he could handle, but if there was one thing Jeff was terrified of, it was a crying woman.

The fact that it was Shepard made it all the more horrifying.

He didn't say anything as he stood in the doorway, toiling over what to do, but she must have sensed him there, because she turned to face him. His eyes fell to her tear soaked cheeks, raw and red eyes muted from their normal brilliant green.

"You okay?" He heard himself ask lamely, lingering near the door and ready to flee at the first opportunity.

"Yeah," She answered in a hoarse voice. He nodded, starting to back out when her face crumpled and she shook her head. "No…_fuck."_

Son of a bitch.

Resignedly, Jeff crossed to the bed and sat beside her, awkwardly putting his hands on his knees. "Um…look, Shep, I wanna help, but I'm pretty useless when it comes to this stuff. You want to talk about it?" She didn't look up as she tiredly handed him an unfolded piece of paper with scratchy masculine scrawl.

_Shepard-_

_I always wanted to be a Dad. When I married my wife Cynthia before I started N7 training, we talked about having three or four. I didn't have any brothers or sisters, so I always figured I'd make up for it by having a big family. Well, Cynthia and I were pretty young and more than a little naïve. It didn't work out. She wasn't willing to leave her job on Earth and I wasn't willing to resign myself to a desk job at the Alliance. _

_After I met Kahlee, I hoped we might get the chance to have kids together, but it didn't work out the way we'd hoped. We both had our careers and our duties and that was that. Timing was never on our side. _

_Back when I was stationed in the Terminus Systems in '70, we had to intervene when batarians attacked a little farming colony. Mindoir. It wasn't pretty, and we were too late to save most of the victims, but we finally found a man and his daughter running out of the forest. The man was hurt, dragging his girl behind him…a scrawny little thing with two messy red braids in a flannel shirt. _

_I promised him that I'd take care of his little girl before he died. _

_That day, my wish came true. I became a father. In that skinny little girl, I found what I had been looking for. A family. And so began the daunting task of parenting a teenager who had just lost everything. She shut me out…she resisted everything I tried to give her. Until one day, she came to me and asked me for a favor. She wanted to enlist in the Alliance. I made a deal with her. I told her if she trusted me, and gave me a chance to help her, she could enlist as soon as she was old enough. _

_In that little girl, I have felt more pride than I have ever felt. I have known more fear than I have ever known. And, I have known more happiness than I ever dreamed. _

_Perhaps, I didn't deserve the love I received from that brilliant, special girl. I hadn't been there when she was born. I had not seen her take her first steps. I did not hold her hand on her first day of school. But, I was there when she graduated from high school. I was the person she came to when she was in a bind. I was there to hold her when she cried, and sometimes, if I squinted hard enough, I could pretend she was really mine. I've never thought otherwise. _

_In you, Alexandra Jane Shepard, I have truly lived. You gave my life meaning. You saved me, Alex. I have watched you grown from a skinny little girl with messy braids into a formidable woman, who commands both respect and awe. You became my better when you were made a Spectre, and I am damned proud to call you my daughter. To me, you'll always be that little girl in the flannel shirt with the bright green eyes. _

_The apartment on the Citadel is yours to keep. I just hope it's still there for you. I've also put away an inheritance for you. It will be in your savings account. _

_Thank you, Alex, for giving me the greatest title I have ever had to privilege to earn. _

_Father. _

_All My Love, _

_Admiral David Edward Anderson_

"I didn't…know you guys were that close," Joker admitted, folding the paper and handing it back to her.

"We didn't advertise it," Shepard sighed, putting the paper back into the envelope. "He always said paper letters meant more than email because if you cared enough to write it out, it was worth reading."

"He was a good man," Joker agreed, looking at the door for a fleeting moment, longingly.

"He was my dad," She said, her face falling once again as she buried her face in her hands, shoulders moving with each sob.

Joker knew his escape wasn't going to happen, sighing as he tried to figure out what he should do. Hesitantly, he put his arm around her, half expecting her to haul off and punch him in the face; do some real damage to his skull. As she was wont to do, Shepard surprised him by putting his arms around his middle, resting her cheek against his chest with her head positioned just below his chin. It was an uncharacteristically female response, and Jeff wasn't exactly the soft and cuddly type, being, for lack of a better word, breakable.

Sure, he'd cuddled with women after sex, but that was, well, after _sex._

Somehow though, his arms found their way around her, cradling her body protectively. For a woman who cut such an intimidating figure in armor, she was surprisingly small; so excruciatingly human in that moment. This was something Joker had avoided for years, admitting that the Commander was a woman. Oh, it wasn't like he hadn't checked out her ass as she'd walked away from the cockpit time and again. But, he had not _allowed_ himself to consider her as an actual female. He had not allowed himself to admit that she was beautiful; that she was amazing; that he wanted her.

At least, he hadn't in a _very _long time.

But she _was_ all of those things. And nothing had changed; nothing _could _change. He was still grieving over the loss of EDI. She was in a serious relationship with her fellow human Spectre.

He had nothing to offer her but a shoulder to cry on, and a fragile one at that.

* * *

Kaidan closed the line, both disheartened and relieved. On the one hand, he was glad Shepard was resting; she undoubtedly deserved some well-earned sleep. On the other hand, there was the matter that she was now the sole kin of three orphaned children. Kaidan loved kids, always had. He was patient and a good teacher, and he'd always liked watching a child's eyes light up as they learned something new. He supposed if he hadn't gone into the Alliance, he would have been a teacher. Conatix had put the kibosh on _that_ right away.

He knew that Shepard wasn't going to be able to turn them away. They'd had many a conversation that indicated that she wanted to fill the void that the loss of her own family had created. He'd just always assumed it would be one step at a time; maybe marriage and then a nicely planned out pregnancy.

Not that he would even think of asking her not to take the kids. Kaidan knew how important it would be to her; her only blood relatives left. Shepard was surprisingly tight lipped about her family. All she'd really told him was that she'd grown up on a farm on Mindoir and had an older brother and a younger sister. Her father's name had been John and her mother, Hannah. She'd never mentioned anything about an aunt and uncle on Earth.

Miranda, of course, had filled in the details for him. Kate Hathaway had been the sister of Hannah Shepard. The women had remained close, but after the attacks on Mindoir, Kate and her husband Mark had lost contact with their niece. Upon some minor digging, Miranda had found that Shepard had actually been placed under legal guardianship of one David Edward Anderson, which was an even bigger surprise.

Though it had always been clear to Kaidan that Shepard and Anderson had a working history together, neither had ever indicated that he'd raised her from the age of sixteen on. Of course, being in the military, they'd probably thought it better to maintain a professional distance. He didn't blame them, since he knew the last thing any soldier wanted was to be accused of getting preferential treatment.

This also filled Kaidan with more guilt at leaving Shepard alone. She was dealing with not only the loss of her mentor and respected superior; she was grieving a father figure. He understood, having buried his own father five months earlier. The Captain had been given a full military service, complete with a twenty-one gun salute. Though they'd had their differences, Kaidan would miss his father's stoic face; his honorable disposition and his wisdom. Captain Alenko had _loved_ to dispense wisdom to his only son. Kaidan would have gladly listened were he here today.

Kaidan decided to call his mother first thing in the morning. He had something to ask her. But it was nearly ten in Vancouver. His mother would be asleep already; she was an early riser.

Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed someone step out of the shadows; a familiar figure. He smiled, turning to see Miranda standing just inside the door, dressed in an Alliance issued warm-up suit with her dark hair pulled up at the crown of her head. Her blue eyes seemed to glow in the dim light of the common room.

"Any luck with Shepard?" She asked, taking a drink of water and crossing to perch on the arm of an overstuffed chair. Silently, he shook his head, crossing his legs and glancing at the cross trainers on her feet. It was almost comical, seeing Miss "Genetic Perfection" Lawson dressed down in workout clothes with a slight sheen of sweat on her flawless face.

"Do you always work out this late at night?" He chuckled.

Miranda flushed a little, shrugging. "An old habit, from when I joined Cerberus. Most of the time, I didn't get free time until later at night, and so I would run to blow off steam and think." Her eyes widened in horror. "I must look frightful."

"No," Kaidan assured her, laughing as he put his feet up on a coffee table. "It's kind of nice. You seem almost…human."

"Bite me," Miranda snapped, though she too was suppressing a smirk. Growing serious, she fixed her eyes on his face. "Kaidan, do you think Shepard will take them?"

"Yes," He answered truthfully. "In a heartbeat."

"Good," Miranda nodded, sinking to sit in the armchair. "Are you okay with that?"

"Of course," Kaidan answered instantly. "I would never deny Shepard the chance to reconnect with family. She thought she had no one."

"It's just…three children are a lot of work," She told him honestly, "They're her family, but this affects you too, Kaidan."

"I wouldn't leave her, if that's what you're implying," He returned, defensively. Miranda nodded, giving him a small smile.

"I'm glad." Her eyes met his squarely. "And I know you wouldn't leave Shepard. You're a good man, Kaidan."

"Five months ago, you called me an infuriating stuffed shirt," He reminded her, winking.

"Five months ago, you _were," _She insisted in a dry voice. "Of course, I was probably no b—"

An alarm started to go off, sending shrill wails throughout the fortress of the shelter. Both people sprang from their seat, ready to take action against the person who had intruded. It was the alarm that indicated someone had slipped past the security station at the main gate and was heading toward the building.

Abby Williams appeared in her pajamas, curly hair wild around her face and her threadbare pink robe haphazardly thrown around her body. Kaidan reached the weapons locker first, punching in the code and tossing Miranda a pistol.

"Do you think you'll need it?" Abby asked, horrified, glancing toward the dormitories with wide sable eyes.

"Better safe than sorry," He pointed out, nodding toward the main hall. "You go and block the entrance to the dorms. Activate the emergency locks while Miranda and I deal with this. You and Oriana make sure the kids stay calm."

Stricken, the woman nodded, fleeing and rushing back the way she'd come, already pulling up her Omni-tool to alert Ori. A surge of biotically charged adrenaline coursed through Kaidan's body. He noticed a faint blue aura around Miranda as well. Catching her attention, he motioned for her to take cover on the right side of the door while he hugged the right. The door slid open as both stood poised to attack as a small form stumbled through the door and collapsed on the floor in a heap. Kaidan held his hand up to stop Miranda from rushing toward it, waiting until person uncurled and it became apparent she was unarmed.

Kaidan could tell by the quickly forming pool of blood around her that she was in bad shape. Holstering his pistol, he fell to his knees, checking the stranger over. The wound was on her side; she'd been stabbed. Looking up, he met Miranda's eyes.

"Get Abby. And Dr. Fallon." He ordered, putting pressure on the girl's wound and trying to get her to look at him. Her dark eyes fluttered in an attempt to focus. "Steady…" He made his voice as soothing as he could, "Stay with me. You're safe…you're safe." Her blood stained hand covered his, gripping the wrist. That's when he noticed the faint blue light emanating from her wound and realized she was a biotic.

"Help…" Her weak voice was barely audible. "They're coming…they're coming for me…"

"Who is? You're safe here," Kaidan repeated. Her brows furrowed as she looked up into his face, reaching up with her other hand to touch his cheek. His eyes widened in surprise.

"Kaidan…is that you?"

"Kaidan?" He echoed in confusion, staring down at her in wonder. "How do you know me…?"

Suddenly, it became clear to him. The dark eyes. The glossy hair. The subtle lilt of an accent in her words. Kaidan gasped in both surprise and horror.

"Rahna."

* * *

Liara found herself wide awake, opening her eyes to a darkened room with nothing but the dim light of the city for illumination. It was becoming a habit, finding herself awake at the most inopportune times and then sleeping when she shouldn't. Soon, she suspected, it would get worse. She would be able to feel the baby move and her body would hurt. Aethyta had been all too forthcoming about the woes of pregnancy; sometimes to the point of making Liara cringe. Still, she had become close with the asari who had "fathered" her, and had even become fond of Aethyta's gruff, brutal honesty.

This insomnia was likely caused by something other than the child growing in her womb, however. It had been just over two weeks since Feron had left for Ilos to retrieve more data. Liara had fully intended to go herself, but both Javik and Feron had insisted that it was a one person job and Feron had added that as her Operative, he should go. (In truth, she was convinced he was being overprotective with her condition which was both infuriating and endearing.) Liara had become accustomed to having the weight of Feron's body beside her at night, and after four months together, she'd become dependent on his presence in her bed.

When the war had ended, the couple had slipped so easily into a relationship, it was almost as if it had simply always been; perhaps it had, from that first meeting on Omega. For two years, Liara had lived with a horrifying mix of nightmares that were a muddle of vague images containing both the view she'd had of the immovable Commander Shepard choking to death in the infinite expanse of space and the vision of Feron being hauled away by the minions of the former Shadow Broker. There had been a seemingly endless stream of tears she'd shed for them both, and then, the almost crippling relief when they'd saved him. Though, it wasn't until just before the final push in the war that Feron had confessed to having any feelings for her. For so long, she'd pretended that it wasn't like that; that he was just grateful to her for saving him. She'd almost feared it wasn't genuine.

Truly, Liara was tired of bottling up her emotions. It had been a defense mechanism for most of her life and she was sick to death of it. Benezia had never been the type to be outwardly emotional; a trait she'd passed on to her only child. She'd loved her mother dearly, but they had never been particularly affectionate with one another. Benezia had an image to uphold and a daughter to groom into the very image of a perfect future Matriarch; something Liara had never been interested in being. From the time she'd learned to read, science had been her passion. The meager information available on the Prothean Empire had infatuated the adolescent asari. She'd read every text she could get her hands on and decided that she was going to abandon the life her mother had planned out for her and pursue her passion for knowledge.

Benezia had flown into a rage to rival the Goddess herself and had warned Liara that all ties would be cut. Defiantly, Liara had stood her ground and gone her separate way, removing herself from the Matriarch's life. It had been strange at first, making her own decisions; thinking for herself. The asari were not a forgiving people, however, and Liara's relative youth made it difficult to gain respect, especially without the support of her influential estranged parent. Being a pureblood didn't help her case much, either. If it hadn't been for the support of her colleague and former mentor, Dr. Passante, she would have never been published.

Now was not the time to reminisce about the lost years of her early career, however. There were more pressing matters; such as how she was going to be able to sleep. Her eyes fell to the clock, glowing light amber in the dark room.

_1:37 A.M._

Earth time was a bit strange, and it was odd to watch the humans arrange their itineraries according to the position of Sol. On the Normandy, there had been little concept of "day" and "night", though the Earth time format wasn't exactly _foreign_ since it had always been displayed on the SR-1 and the SR-2 beside the GST (Galactic Standard Time) clock.

Liara hesitated only briefly, before pulling up her Omni-tool and pressing the call button. It was answered immediately, bringing Feron's vibrant features into focus. He looked concerned.

"Is the connection secure?" She asked, more out of habit than actual worry. It was a valid precaution. If she were ever exposed as the Shadow Broker, they would both be in a great deal of danger, especially with Feron's history. He'd burned bridges with many people over the years, being an information broker. It was important that they maintained their privacy.

"Yes," He affirmed. "All of the security tech is at full capacity."

Liara nodded. "Good. I am sorry for bothering you this late, but—"

"Liara," Feron interrupted her dryly, "You worry too much. As _usual…"_

"Yes," She agreed. "It's just…" A quick huff left her as she sank to sit on the bed, frustrated with herself. "Oh, this is so _absurd…_"

"Are you feeling alright? The baby…?"

"Is fine," Liara assured him, "She is quite the little troublemaker, but she is not why I am calling." He waited patiently, folding his arms while she gathered her thoughts. "I missed you." Her voice was quiet with both embarrassment and sincerity, face surely turning a violent shade of lavender.

Feron surprised her by laughing aloud. "You never cease to amaze me, T'Soni…is that all?"

"Is that _all?" _She fired back indignantly, mortified. She was _trying_ to pour her heart out to the person she'd pledged her love to; was having a _child_ with. The room was suddenly alight in glowing blue hues radiating from her body. "It's _everything,_ you insensitive, silver tongued—"

"Easy, _Arashu,"_ He stopped her, taking pity, though he was still grinning, the infuriating wretch! "I was only teasing you."

Liara's face fell, eyes welling up involuntarily. Feron's eyes grew wide with panic, hands going up in surrender. "No, no!" He cried, shaking his head. "I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" He let out a sharp curse beneath his breath. "Goddess of Oceans, I didn't mean to do that!"

"I can't _sleep!"_ She blurted, overwrought from exhaustion and distress. "I've gotten so used to you being there when I sleep, that I can't when you're not with me!" Burying her face in her hands, she was slightly humiliated at her complete lack of control over her emotions. The asari midwife had told her that in comparison to humans, asari pregnancy hormones have three times the effect. It was not uncommon for Liara to cry these days; it seemed the smallest things could set her off.

Ads about cruelty towards varren...

Knocking over a pile of datapads…

Seeing a quarian without their mask…

Running out of the single greatest invention of humans; ice cream.

It was pathetic really, and Liara rationally knew she was overreacting to Feron's teasing; their banter was one of the things she most enjoyed, in fact, but her body wasn't cooperating with her mind.

"Oh Goddesses," Feron sighed, wincing, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to—"

"I know," She sniffed miserably; "I just can't seem to help myself lately."

"For the record, I miss you too," He admitted soberly, all traces of his earlier joking gone. "It's been hell these past two weeks, Liara. I find myself waking up and reaching for you only to realize you aren't there." His voice lowered dangerously. "When I see you next, you'd better prepare yourself, because we won't be leaving the bed for at least two days."

Despite herself, Liara laughed through her tears. "That, I look forward to." She swallowed, wiping under her eyes with the back of her hand. "I shattered a window today."

Feron's eyes widened. "How?"

"Well, actually it was _her,"_ Liara touched her middle, gesturing down. A startled chuckle left him. "At the flight station…when I got your message about Hilary Moreau…" She trailed off, feeling her eyes burn for a moment again, thinking of Joker in the other room. He was reeling, no matter how much he tried to hide it. Shaking her head, she pushed the urge away, biting her bottom lip to keep it from quivering.

"Oh," His voice filled with understanding. "So, _that's_ what you meant when you said she's a troublemaker."

"Hmm, yes," Liara acknowledged, her lips curving in a melancholy smile. "Thank you for letting me know, though."

"Always, Liara," Feron told her earnestly. "Droney and I—"

"_Feron…"_ She groaned, though she was unable to suppress a smirk. "His name is _Glyph." _

"I like mine better," He insisted, grinning again with his usual cheek. "_Fine,"_ He sighed dramatically, "_Glyph_ and I will be en route to Earth no later than Thursday and we should arrive early Saturday morning. I talked to Javik earlier, while you were napping." He sounded a little sheepish. "He told me about your trouble sleeping…"

"But how could he have—?"

"Liara, it's _Javik._ The guy can read everyone like an open book," He reminded her, snickering. "He acts like he doesn't care, but he does. You're like the daughter he never wanted."

"Feron!" She cried, laughing helplessly. "I am _not!"_

"When we started…" Feron cleared his throat, "Well, when we became…_us_…he told me that in his cycle, if a male betrayed a female, it was punishable by—"

"Death," They finished together, chortling.

"If that isn't the old adage of a father threatening his daughter's suitor, I don't know what is." Feron shook his head fondly. "I adore that Prothean bastard."

"You two _have_ become good friends," Liara agreed, beaming. For all Javik's bristly exterior, she considered her theory that he had a soft heart confirmed.

She made a note to give him a kiss on the cheek (which he would hate).

"As Joker would say," She continued, "a bromance." Her brows rose in realization. "Oh, Goddess…you and Joker in the same company…Athame help us."

Feron's eyes drifted past her focusing on something. "Oh great…I should go. Glitch is lighting up," He grumbled. "Is it too much to pray it'll malfunction and shut off?"

"His name is _Glyph,"_ Liara half giggled. "And I need him. Go on. I have kept you long enough. Hopefully your daughter behaves herself and doesn't shatter any more windows."

"Theia, this is your father," Feron said, adopting an authoritative voice and making her snort, "Please be a good little girl and don't make your mother break things. She is letting you live in her for free—"

"_Feron!"_ Liara gasped, now crying from laughing so hard. "You are _impossible."_

"—and tell your mother if _she_ behaves, I will make it worth her while…"

"Oh, by the Goddess." Liara scoffed, waving him off. "_Go,_ fix Glyph. I will talk to you tomorrow."

"I'll check in when we get on the way." He grew serious. "I love you, Liara. _Vu de'ei alaya_."

"Yes, I love you too," Liara breathed, reaching toward his projection, yearning to feel his hand in hers. "Soon."

_The faint orange glow of Liara's terminal screen was the only light in the room. She was poring over the final plans for the battle to come. They would arrive on Earth in less than twelve hours. She knew she should be asleep, but her mind wouldn't shut off. A million thoughts ran through her mind. _

_She thought of her childhood on Thessia; sitting on her mother's bed watching her get ready for her day. One of her most treasured memories was putting on her mother's headpiece and staring at her reflection in the mirror, pretending she too was a grown Asari Matriarch. Sneaking out to the park across the street and digging until her clothes were beyond repair, praying to the Goddess she'd find some artifact. Her mother would then scold her, telling her that there were more important things in life than dirtying up one's clothes and hands. _

_She thought of the fight she and Benezia had gotten into when she'd informed her mother that she was going into Archaeology. Benezia had railed at her, stating that it was embarrassing for her daughter to go traipsing through the galaxy for the bones of dead people when she had a duty to her people to lead. They hadn't spoken until her mother's death. _

_She thought of meeting Shepard, being welcomed into her life and her crew. For the first time in over a century, Liara had friends. Real friends. It was strange to be unconditionally accepted by so many people. Even Javik had started to come around since Thessia. _

_The thought of losing even one of them…_

_She couldn't bear it. They were all so dear to her. And then, of course there was Feron. Her employee. Her friend. The person who had shown her that she was more than just a soft spoken weakling. He'd sacrificed everything for her to save a woman he didn't even know. Granted, he had betrayed her a few times on the way, but she'd owed it to him to save him. It wasn't until she'd seen him again, did she realize just how deeply she'd cared for him. On her old Shadow Broker base, she'd found herself checking in on him constantly to make sure he was alright. She told herself she was just worried for his well-being after his ordeal, but sometimes she did wonder if maybe…_

_But then, of course, she buried those thoughts deep within the confines of her mind. _

_The sound of her Omni-tool nearly made her fly out of her skin as she leapt to answer the call. To her surprise, it was Feron on the other end, his image appearing before her. _

"_Feron!" She exclaimed, attempting to maintain some composure. "Is everything alright? Are you in trouble?" _

"_No," He sighed, "I'm sorry for bothering you so late." _

"_Nonsense," She insisted. "What is it?" _

"_I've been thinking about things…" He cleared his throat nervously. "About us." _

"_Us? What do you…?" Her eyes widened in horror. "Oh no! You're unhappy working for me, aren't you? You're working for someone else? A better offer?" _

"_Liara," he interrupted. "Even if I got a better offer, I'd never leave you…er, your service, that is." _

"_Oh, I see." Her voice was quiet, though she prayed she'd done a passable job at keeping the disappointment out of it. _

"_What I'm trying to say…Liara…is, after this is all over…well, I…" He cleared his throat again, "I just couldn't let you go off to battle without you knowing the truth."_

"_The truth?" She sighed, swallowing the sudden lump in her throat. Had he betrayed her again?_

"_If one or both of us die tomorrow, I can't bear the thought of never telling you how I feel." She waited, watching conflicting emotions cross his colorful features. He looked up once more, soberly. "Liara, I…care for you." _

"_I care for you too, Feron," Liara replied in confusion, frowning. "I don't see how—"_

"_No, Liara." His voice was low. "I…" He sighed in frustration. "I love you."_

_Her breath hitched as her hand fluttered to her mouth. "What did you say?" She whispered, both afraid of the answer and thrilled by the possibility. _

"_I'm in love with you," He continued. "I always have been since that day you found me on Omega. I've been a bastard, Liara. I've made so many mistakes in my life…"_

"_We all have…" She told him gently. _

"_No." He shook his head. "Before I met you, the only thing that mattered to me was survival at any cost. I regret so much of my past."_

"_You've changed," Liara insisted, wishing she could put her hand on his shoulder to reassure him. _

"_I have," He agreed. "You changed me."_

"_No." She shook her head vigorously. "You changed you. Or perhaps, it was always inside you to be a good, honest man. Maybe you just needed a gentle push…"_

"_Or a biotic shove," he chuckled. "Anyway, I just thought you should know the truth. I'll let you get back to—"_

"_I feel the same way for you, Feron," Liara heard herself blurt. "I realized it when you sacrificed yourself for me…when I knew you were willing to die for me…for her." _

"_She's special to you."_

"_She is," Liara agreed, "My dearest friend. My…family." _

"_Do you love her?" Feron asked, watching her curiously. Liara smiled fondly. _

"_I do…but, not in the way I thought I did. When I met Shepard, she fascinated me. I was infatuated with her…fancied myself in love. She did not reciprocate, though we did become extremely close. When she died, I was lost." She took a breath. "Shepard was the only person who had really ever understood me. I…I couldn't let them take her body."_

"_I understand," He nodded, and she knew he did. It filled her with warmth, yet made her want to break down and cry all at once. _

"_If we live through tomorrow…"_

"_Don't talk like that, Liara," He interrupted sharply, "You will live. You have to promise me you'll live." _

"_I can't make that promise," She answered sadly, meeting his eyes. _

"_You can," Feron insisted. "Promise." _

"_I…" She nodded, sagging tiredly in her chair and ignoring the burning in her eyes. "I promise…and when I do," She swallowed, "when I do…live…I'll come to you and then maybe when can finally stop waiting for life to begin." _

"_I'll be waiting. I'll always be waiting, Liara." _

"_I…" She faltered, standing and reaching toward his holographic image, fervently wishing it were really him standing there. "I love you." _

"_And I love you, Arashu," He replied, giving her a sad smile. "Fe Kalahira niv'e mirdei s'ute."_

"_What does that mean?" Liara asked, wiping at her eyes futilely. Feron swallowed. _

"_Loosely translated, 'May Kalahira bring us together for all eternity." He smiled. "As for Arashu, I will tell you when you come to me." _

"_Goodbye," she choked, unable to stop her tears. _

"_Not Goodbye," He corrected, hoarsely, "Vu de'ei alaya…I will see you soon." _

"_Vu de'ei alaya," Liara echoed, bowing her head when the image faded, leaving her in the faint glow of her terminal once more. _

* * *

Garrus was in awe of the gleaming metropolis that comprised much of Earth. In some ways, it reminded him of the Citadel; always moving. The industrial landscape oddly made him feel at home. Since his parents were both gone and Solana wasn't exactly on great terms with him, he thought about settling down here and starting a new life; away from C-Sec and Archangel; away from Palaven. His eyes fell on Tali's unmasked profile as she read over a message from the Admiralty Board.

A twinge of fear lingered at the periphery of his mind as he faced the very real possibility that it might not work out between them. Their run in with her former fiancé – or whatever quarians called them – had made all too clear, the differences between turians and quarians. They were from different worlds; had been raised on different sets of principles and laws. Tali was an Admiral. She was highly respected within her people and she had worked so hard to give them back the world they'd lost three centuries prior. Maybe it would be better if she _did_ end up with someone like Zev'Nimah, even if he did give off a weird asshole vibe. (Of course, that _could_ have been the fact that Tali was supposed to marry him and not so much the fact that he was a dick.)

The reality remained that Tali's people could turn on her for fraternizing with a turian. They could cast her out. Garrus could never give her children. He couldn't give her the life she'd fought for.

And that scared the _shit_ out of him.

"You're quiet tonight," Tali's gentle, natural voice came from her spot on the king sized bed. She set the datapad aside, smiling at him. Garrus still wasn't used to his own reaction to her beauty. Honestly, it wouldn't have made a damn shred of difference to him if he'd have never seen her sans mask, but now that he had…there was no denying it.

He wasn't sure he could live without her now.

"Hmm," was the only response he could manage as he set aside the gun he was cleaning without looking at her. His mandibles twitched as he heard the soft shuffle of her rising from the bed and moving toward him. Garrus fought the urge to turn and wrap his arms around her waist so he could hear the gentle ebb and flow of her heartbeat.

He nearly jumped out of his skin when he felt her hands on his shoulders and her breath at his cheek. "Perhaps you should join me on the bed…" She purred, bringing every nerve in his body to life. There was nothing he wanted more than to scoop her small body into his arms and press her into the soft down of the bed, and…

_Wrex in a bikini._

_Joker in a dress. _

_Yahg. _

_Mordin and Aria T'Loak having sex._

He forced himself to picture repulsive things and calm his body down before he actually took Tali up on her offer. It wasn't that he didn't _want_ to (Spirits, _that_ was an understatement). For the first time ever, Garrus was terrified to screw it up and he didn't want to jump into sex with Tali. Joker would never let him hear the end of it if he knew, but Garrus wanted sex with her to mean something. He wanted special.

Shepard had once said, "Having sex too soon is the fastest way to kill a relationship."

He knew she'd been right, and he certainly hadn't been chaste during his time with C-Sec. Hell, the people who worked there jokingly referred to it as C-_Sex._ This was the first time that sex wasn't important to him. (And maybe he was a little scared about her not liking it.)

Garrus quickly got up off of the chair he was sitting in and turned to look down into her face, taking her delicate hands into his. His eyes roved over the sensual curve of her hip, accented attractively by the embellishments on her Enviro-suit.

"Tali, you have _no_ idea how bad I want to take you up on that offer…" He sighed. Tali's smile disappeared, replaced with an expression of worry.

"But?"

"I want our first time to last...be special," He brushed her cheek gently with his knuckle. "I don't want to rush."

"Garrus," Tali's voice was firm, though she didn't sound angry. "It's been going on two years since our first…since that time after my trial—"

"Good times," He smirked, remembering the feverish night. Not one piece of clothing had been removed and yet, they'd both left the Main Battery grinning from ear to ear (or so he assumed since he couldn't see Tali's face).

"—I want to be with you, Garrus," she continued. "_Now."_

"Look," Garrus closed his eyes, picturing the vorcha porn Joker had sent him as a prank to calm his body down. He was about a hair's breadth from giving into her. _It would be so easy…_ "I think we need to sort some things out."

"Okay…" Tali answered, though she looked a bit wary.

"The reason I was so freaked out about your ex—"

"Garrus…" She sighed in exasperation, moving away from him. "It wasn't _like_ that!"

"Just hear me out," he pleaded. "Seeing that guy…it kind of made me see that maybe I'm not right for you. That maybe you should be with someone who can give you the life you deserve."

"You listen to _me,_ Vakarian," She told him fiercely, holding his face in her hands and standing on her toes, "I _never_ wanted to marry Zev'Nimah. My father and I argued _horribly_ before I left for my Pilgrimage because of it. It's part of why I was so determined to succeed. I thought, if I could bring something of great value back to the flotilla, I might gain respect and perhaps my father would void his contract with Zev'Nimah. He died before we ever got the chance to discuss it."

"I see," Garrus finally returned, lamely. That had done nothing to make him feel better.

"_Do_ you see?" Tali asked, forcing him to look into mesmerizing golden irises. "Garrus, it wouldn't have made a difference. I wouldn't have married Zev regardless. I had no intention of ever marrying him. He was a dear childhood friend to me. Nothing more." She gave a soft chuckle. "Father would have expired when he realized I'd fallen for a turian vigilante." She brought his forehead down to hers. "Archangel…"

Garrus wanted to bury his face in the crook of her neck and memorize the feel of her skin; the clean, appealing smell of her body. "It's not going to be easy for us, Tali," he pointed out, holding her by the waist. "We're going to face prejudice from all sides; your people…_my_ people…the Council. You may lose your Admiralty position." He looked into her eyes imploringly. "I can't give you babies."

"We can adopt," Tali inserted tenderly. "Plenty of baby krogan to choose from now."

Despite his spinning head, Garrus managed a laugh. "I draw the line at krogan, Tal…maybe a nice, docile human baby or an asari."

"Maybe a turian," she grinned rubbing her cheek against his. "We can put blue markings on his face to match his daddy."

"Yeah," Garrus chuckled, "and a little quarian girl. Nothing screams cute like a baby in a mask."

Tali cracked up, smacking his arm. "You _ass._ We don't get our suits until we reach adolescence. The new ones might not even need them."

"Perfect," He laughed, drawing her into his chest and resting his chin atop her head. "And where will we live with these little scamps? Certainly not on Rannoch…" He let out a skeptical grunt. "Or Palaven."

"The Citadel?" Tali suggested.

"Could work…" He allowed amiably, kissing one of her crests. "Could work."

"So, _now_ will you take me to bed?" Tali whined impatiently, pouting up at him. Garrus ran his thumb reverently over her full lower lip.

"No." His voice was low, "I still want to wait. You won't need the suit soon…we're in no rush. I want it to be special."

"You _are_ a romantic," Tali kissed him. "I'm a lucky girl."

"Yes, you _are…"_ Garrus agreed jokingly, earning a smack.

A moment later, she gasped, clapping her hands together. "I know what we can do!" She abandoned him, rushing toward the bed and her Omni-tool.

"I'm afraid to even ask…" He murmured, following her reluctantly. Triumphantly, Tali scanned through her Omni-tool before finding what she was looking for.

"We can watch _Fleet and Flotilla!"_ She exclaimed. "There's a bottle of dextro wine in my bag…" She was already digging through said bag as he watched her in slack jawed wonder. He'd been honorable and now he was being punished.

Yep, should have just given in and let the poor girl have her way with him.

* * *

Shepard woke the following morning to the sun pouring into the vast windows of the penthouse, bathing the bedroom in brilliant oranges and pinks. She blinked, taking in the beauty of it. It had been a long time since she'd watched a sunrise on Earth; years. She was vaguely aware of something lying across her middle and looked down to see a dark head of messy hair. For a moment, she wondered when Kaidan had gotten in from Phoenix…until she felt the rough bristle of a beard brush her arm and realized she and Joker must have fallen asleep after his uncharacteristically kind gesture last night.

Shepard's eyes widened as she wriggled her way out from under the slumbering doofus.

"Really?" She muttered, scrambling off the bed and reaching for her cane as her muscles protested. Rolling her eyes at the sprawled out man in the bed, she carefully left Joker to his sleep, almost grinning at the sight of his discarded hat on the floor beside the bed. She quickly snatched it up and put it on her head, taking slight pleasure in the fact that he would panic when he couldn't find it.

Her eyes fell on Javik, who was asleep sitting up in a chair with gun in hand. A rush of sympathy washed over her at the sight as she gently pried the rifle from his grasp, careful not to startle him and flipped the safety switch before setting it on the dining room table. The Prothean did not rouse, simply shifting a little and muttering something in his sleep about 'filthy primitives'.

Shepard slipped quietly into the kitchen and opened the fridge, feeling a thrill of gratitude at Kaidan's efficiency. His kitchen was always stocked, clean and (no joke) everything was labeled. It was adorable and irritating all at once. Shepard was not organized by any means. It was one of the things that drove Kaidan crazy was coming into her quarters or office and seeing things strewn about with no rhyme or reason. Drove him nuts.

Shepard removed the eggs and milk from the fridge along with butter, an onion, some ham and a block of cheddar cheese. Setting the can aside, she took a seat on a stool and turned her attention to an old love. Cooking.

It had been something she'd loved since childhood; waking up early on Saturdays and Sundays to help her mother make breakfast. Hannah Shepard had been a fabulous cook; everyone knew it. It seemed like their house never lacked for company, hoping for a taste of Mrs. Shepard's famous meals. Alex's personal favorite had been steak broiled with bacon wrapped around it. If there had been one skill Hannah had insisted on her girls having, it was cooking.

"You can always get by if you can cook for yourself." It had been her mantra.

Within minutes, the kitchen was filled with the scent of cooking food as Shepard lazily flipped the fourth omelet.

"Shit!" Joker's voice came from the bedroom, making Shepard snicker as she adjusted the brim of his SR-2 cap on her head. "Shep! We have a problem!" His voice grew louder as he hobbled closer to the kitchen, nearly tripping over Javik's extended leg. "Have you seen my…" His voice trailed off as he caught sight of her. "…hat?" He finished lamely, panting against the doorframe.

"Your hat?" She asked casually, glancing over her shoulder at him. "Nope." With a glare, he crossed over and snatched it off of her head, messing up her auburn mop of overgrown hair. "Oh relax, you big baby," She laughed. "I made you breakfast." She nodded to the plate closest to him.

"Wow, this looks great," He exclaimed, forgetting his earlier distress. "I didn't know you could cook."

"I didn't know you were a cuddler," She answered swiftly, giving him a wink.

"What are you…?" His eyes widened. "_Shit."_

"I smell food…" Liara's groggy voice came from the doorway.

"Here's yours," Shepard told her, glancing out at Javik's sleeping form. "God, he sleeps like the _dead."_

"Too soon…" Joker warned with his mouth full, scarfing down a forkful of hash browns and washing it down with some apple juice.

"This looks incredible," Liara murmured, sitting beside Joker and taking a tentative bite. She moaned, making Joker give her a suggestive look. "Nothing has ever been _so_ good…"

"Putting _that_ one away for future use," He chuckled, pointing to his head.

"You're disgusting," Shepard laughed, moving toward the coffee maker.

"Don't pretend you weren't thinking it, Shep," He added, "You have a sick mind _just_ like mine."

"Yeah, but _I_ have a filter."

"Details," he brushed her off dismissively. She opened her mouth to retort when she heard the sound of her Omni-tool.

"Shit, that's Kaidan." Grabbing the cane, she managed to get to it and hit 'answer' just before her default picked up.

"Hey!" She grinned at the sight of him, though her smile dissipated when she saw the grim look on his face. "Uh oh…"

"I am _so_ sorry I didn't get to you before you fell asleep last night," He sighed. "Something's come up."

"I forgive you. Now come home," She ordered, trying to get a smile out of him.

"Listen, Shepard…we had a woman show up on our doorstep last night…she'd been stabbed, screaming for help." She saw him swallow.

"Oh, _God…"_ She brought her hand to her mouth in horror. "Is she going to be okay?"

"Yeah, the doctor said it's not a deep wound and no vital organs were affected. We gave her some Medi-gel and she's resting…" He took a long breath. "Shepard, it's Rahna."

Shepard dropped her fork, vaguely hearing it clang on the floor.

"Apparently, her father was attacked by those people that were behind the terrorist attack in London. Killed. She managed to escape, but barely." He rubbed at his eyes.

"Who _are_ they?"

"Some kind of cult," Kaidan explained. "I couldn't get much out of her, but I've been on the line with Hackett all morning. Security will have to be tripled for the ceremony next week. You also are going to need a security team with you whenever you leave the penthouse—"

"No," She protested, "Absolutely not."

"Not an option," He cut in. "Hackett's orders, not mine. Kahlee Sanders is being put forth as the new human Council member, and she agrees with him."

"This is _shit!" _She thundered, looking at her companions for support.

"Might not be a bad idea, Shep," Joker offered. "You _are_ kind of the most famous person in, well, _ever_ now…"

"Ugh!"

Liara stared at her with dark eyes, looking slightly haggard. It was evident she hadn't slept well. "I think he's right," She agreed sensibly. "Naturally, these people would target you. I will do some research into it later. I…ugh." She deflated, resting her head against her hand. "I'll look into it," she settled in a weak voice.

"Okay fine," Shepard huffed. "Security. Yippee. What else?"

Kaidan's face paled slightly, making her nervous as he stepped aside and Miranda came into view.

"Good morning Shepard," She smiled brightly, though it did not reach her eyes. Shepard braced herself for more bad news. "I have some information concerning you. What you do with it is your choice." Liara perked up at the word "information".

"Go on," She sighed, pouring herself a mug of coffee.

"Those three kids that were brought in…the reason Kaidan came here in the first place…" Miranda smoothed her hands over the front of her uniform.

"What about them, Miranda?" Shepard asked, turning on her full 'Commander' voice.

"We found their only living relative," The brunette explained cautiously. "Are you familiar with a Katharine Hathaway? Maiden name Ellis?"

"Katharine Hath—" Shepard began, cutting off. "Wait, Ellis? _Kate _Ellis?"

"I believe so, yes," Miranda affirmed with a slight nod, glancing nervously to the side.

"Kate Ellis is my mother's sister!" Shepard's mind was racing. She'd never actually _met_ her aunt, but they'd spoken over vid comm when she'd been a kid back on Mindoir. Kate had stayed back on Earth with her husband. "She's alive? How is she related to the—"

"No, Shepard." Miranda's voice was pained. "She and her husband were killed by a drifter just over a month ago. Her three children, Molly, Tyler and Cara escaped and had been running for weeks, living on their own."

"Oh my _God…"_ The words barely came out of Shepard's mouth as more than a breath. Those kids were her cousins. She'd never even _seen_ the younger two. She hadn't wanted to go and live with them after the attacks; it had been too painful at the time. She'd wanted to break ties with her former life.

But now…

Her only family.

"The Alliance wants to split them up, put the oldest in foster care. The younger two would be assigned to—"

"No," Shepard interjected. "Absolutely fucking not."

"Wait, _what?"_ Joker's voice cut in.

"Do not make any rash decisions," Liara inserted. "Remember, Shepard…you're still dealing with physical therapy…and some symptoms of Post Traumatic—"

"They're my _family_, Liara," Shepard told her sharply, swallowing the lump in her throat. "They're coming to me."

The asari nodded, smiling reassuringly at her. "I know. Just making sure you were _sure."_

"I'm sure," Shepard said without hesitation. "The answer is yes, Miranda."

To her surprise, Miranda smiled warmly at her, eyes glistening. "I'd _hoped_ that's what you'd say."

"I'm not sure how much better off they'll be with me," Shepard admitted hesitantly, trying to will her pulse to slow. "But at least they'll be together."

"And it's not like you won't have help," Miranda added quietly. Shepard looked up, glancing around the penthouse. There was room; they would make it work.

They'd have to.

* * *

**Goddess, these chapters are monstrous! Sorry! :)  
**


	8. Chapter 7

**A/N: To Guest reviewer who asked about Rahna. If you learn about Kaidan's history with his biotic training in BAaT on Jump Zero, Rahna was a fellow biotic trainee whom Kaidan had feelings for. He saved her from Commander Vyrnnus by snapping the turian's neck and after that, she was scared of Kaidan. He never saw her again. All canon. **

** masseffect. wikia wiki/ Kaidan_Alenko **

**(Remove spaces)  
**

**Cheers!**

* * *

Samantha Traynor was exhausted. She hadn't had a day off in… Well, it had obviously been a long while since she couldn't quite recall the last time she had. Maybe shore leave? Since the defeat of the Reapers and the subsequent ruin of the mass relays, intergalactic communications had gone into disrepair. The Council had been stranded on Earth with no way to leave the Sol System and return to their respective homes. Not that much of their home worlds were left anyhow.

The Alliance had managed to repair the Charon relay, which had allowed the Normandy to return home. It had been slightly worse for the wear, but it had made it thanks to the collaborative work of every single crew member. Even Joker had taken a short respite from spewing asinine comments and had actually shown quite a plethora of ship design knowledge. It turned out Moreau had actually studied the subject as a fall back before his assignment to pilot the Normandy, assuming that he may not be able to find a position.

Sam had to hand it to Shepard; she had picked the perfect crew. Each person brought the knowledge of their specialty to the table, giving the Normandy her best chance for survival. The only dark spot in their coming together was that they had lost EDI. The A.I. had gone limp in the co-pilot's chair just before they'd reached the Charon relay after the activation of the Crucible. It had been an eerie sight, seeing the mechanical face with wide open eyes, staring blankly ahead.

Liara had noticed first; then Sam. The two had shared a look, wordlessly agreeing not to burden Joker with it until they'd safely landed. Sam had fervently prayed that they could reboot her, but she was gone. After the crash, Joker's eyes had settled on her nonfunctional face and for the smallest of moments, Sam could have sworn she'd seen his lower lip tremble. It was gone so quickly though, she was sure she had imagined it. With Liara's help, Sam removed EDI's body from the cockpit and took it back into the Tech Lab. Sam and Tali had tried every trick they knew to reboot EDI, but whatever had destroyed the Reapers had fried the computer in the mech's body. It wouldn't even spark.

Sam had sat with her head bowed over the shell that EDI had once inhabited, fighting back tears of frustration when she'd felt a hand on her shoulder.

"She's gone," Liara's kind voice said from behind her. "There is nothing we can do."

"She was our friend," Sam had replied, turning to look into the sympathetic face of the asari.

"Yes," Liara agreed. "And she will never know how we will mourn her. But, we will keep her memory alive in our hearts."

Joker had never asked about the body; had never shown an interest in seeing it. Sam recognized repression. He was rationalizing that if he didn't acknowledge that she was gone, then it wasn't true.

Once they'd returned to Earth and had seen Shepard, Sam had been approached by Admiral Hackett about a position in London at the heavily damaged Alliance comm station there. Sam had thrown her energy into working with the Council, along with various other specialists from all species to restore the extranet and get intergalactic communications back online.

Unfortunately, Sam's expertise in coding and encryption had become extremely valuable, which had led to long hours and little to no sleep. With her parents off world (thankfully safe on Mindoir), and the rest of her crew dispersed, she'd occupied her time with her job. It had been ages since she'd just sat home and watched a film or went out with friends. One had to actually _have_ friends to go out with said friends, and all of hers were otherwise occupied. She could not deny the thrill of excitement at the prospect of seeing them all the following week, though. It still had not sunk in that they were all receiving a Star of Terra. Her parents were beside themselves with pride, and Sam fervently wished they could come to the ceremony, but travel was still iffy at best.

Only government officials and Spectres were really allowed to travel so as to conserve energy until all of the relays were restored. Her parents fell into neither category, but would be tuning in via satellite vids. Sam was lucky; her parents had been evacuated from Horizon and had been safely settled with others on Mindoir. Not many people could say their families had lived.

Her flat seemed darker and even more empty than usual as she trudged up the stairs through the cold rain and unlocked the door with her Omni-tool. It swung open, creaking loudly. Sam quickly flipped on the lights and shed her soaked rain coat, shaking her overgrown hair and heading up the stairs to her bedroom to change into a pair of flannel pajama pants and her Oxford shirt. She briefly considered a scalding hot bath, but decided that it was probably not a great idea in her current, half coherent state. Nobody wanted to find her drowned in the tub because she was too tired to keep her head up.

Sam was a particularly tidy person; always had been. It wasn't even a habit she'd picked up from being in the Alliance. As a child, Sam had always coordinated her clothing by color. She'd arranged her stuffed animals on her bed from smallest to largest. Even though it would have been _so_ easy for her to just drop her uniform and fall into her bed, Sam knew she wouldn't be able to sleep until they were placed into the wicker hamper beside her bed.

With a resigned sigh, she stooped to pick up the clothes and once again, all was right in the OCD world of Samantha Elaine Traynor. She'd very nearly reached her bed, her muscles practically aching with the need to lie still for a minimum of four to six hours, but the familiar ping of her damned Omni-tool sang out, the fiendish little bastard. Groaning, Sam reached blindly for the device, thinking that whoever was on the other end had better have a bloody good reason for bugging her this late.

She answered without looking at the name on the screen. "Traynor," she snapped, sitting up in the bed. To her surprise, she found herself staring at the face of Major Alenko's colleague, Abby Williams. "Oh," she murmured in surprise, feeling slightly guilty for snapping at the woman.

"Bad time?" Abby asked, raising an eyebrow at her.

Traynor gave her a wry smirk. "_Bed_time, actually."

Abby's eyes widened as she winced. "Shit! I forget you guys are what? Ten hours ahead of us or something?"

"Seven, actually," Sam replied, smiling. "It's nearly midnight here."

"Well, damn," Abby remarked, "it's a wonder I can keep my head on straight at all. I'm sorry."

"No worries," Traynor assured the brunette, "I'm awake. Just got in, actually. Is everything alright? Do you need more help with the Omni-tool?"

"What?" Abby gave her a blank look for a moment, before laughing in realization. "Oh! No. It worked perfectly. I actually was calling to _thank_ you for your help. Look, you don't know me well, so you probably think I'm some kind of kook, but I've been avoiding actually dealing with my sister's death for a few years now. It, uh…well, it kind of broke up my family. My mother is a raving lunatic now and turned to this wacko church group that convinced her I'm the devil. So, she and I…we're not really on great terms."

"Wait," Sam cut in, trying to translate the tumble of words bursting from the woman's lips. It was almost amusing, the rapid fire way Abby spoke. "The church convinced your _mother _that you're the _devil?"_

"Well," Abby sighed, "More, my _type_ of people." When Sam didn't answer, she added, "_Gay."_

"Oh…" Sam's mouth opened slightly, unsure of how to answer that.

"Anyway," Abby continued, "I guess what I'm trying to say is, getting that Omni-tool to Kaidan kind of gave me the closure I needed with Ashley's death."

"I'm glad I could help," Sam told her earnestly, mind reeling. "So, how did you tell your mother?"

"I…" Abby's brow furrowed. "Pardon?"

"Your mum," She repeated, "How did you come out?"

"Oh," Abby laughed, "_That. _I told her I was bringing someone home for Christmas. It was my first girlfriend Roxanne. She, well...let's just say, she didn't take it well. She tried to sign me up for this camp that supposedly cures the gay." Abby rolled her eyes. "My mother is so naïve that she'd probably believe that nut job pastor of hers if he told her _he_ was Jesus."

Sam chuckled with her, biting her lip in thought. She had never had to face some of the prejudices that many others had. Her parents had always been very accepting of her sexual preference, but she knew this wasn't always the norm. Sam supposed she'd always known that she was attracted to women since she'd never once thought of a boy as attractive or handsome. Of course, nobody had really known this was the case since Sam had spent the majority of her high school career ensconced in advanced classes, hidden beneath glasses and braces. It wasn't like boys had been banging down her door. She'd played the bloody clarinet in marching band for heaven's sake.

Then again, it wasn't as if _girls_ had exactly been begging her for attention either. She'd had one girlfriend in the ten years since graduation, and that was pushing it. It had been a total of seven dates, if one were being precise. There had been an argument over food, if Sam recalled correctly (and she always did). Cheri had been a vegan while Sam was a devout carnivore, and apparently, someone who enjoyed a good steak was not Cheri's type, so they'd parted ways. Sam could honestly say she had not been heartbroken by the split.

That was it; the sad extent of her lonely love life. Which brought her to her current predicament. For the first time, she found herself staring an attractive, viable romance option in the face. She'd never actually _asked_ someone out (Cheri had been set up with her by a mutual friend). Abby was pretty; she could even be considered beautiful with her chestnut brown curls and flashing dark eyes, but what surprised Sam was she _liked_ Abby's snappy personality and sharp wit. She liked _Abby_.

"Listen," Sam began, trying not to fidget. "Could I maybe buy you a drink when you're in town next week? Major Alenko – er – _Kaidan_ mentioned you were coming for the ceremony next week."

"Sure," Abby shrugged, "Why not? Should we see if Mr. Perfect himself wants to come?"

Sam froze, unsure of how to proceed. Abby clearly hadn't caught her meaning. "I…well, that is…" She sighed in frustration, "I sort of meant it to be…a, y'know…" her voice lowered, "a _date."_ Brown eyes widened in recognition, her expression turning from one of humor to surprise.

"A date…" The brunette uttered slowly. Sam fought the urge to cringe and call the whole thing off in humiliation. "You're _gay?"_

"Well, _yes…_" She admitted, feeling her cheeks burn, "I always have been. I'm so sorry…I sort of thought you already knew. I thought Kaidan may have told you."

"Nope," Abby laughed, shaking her head. "Damn, warn a girl before you drop a bomb like that!" Abby met her eyes, grinning. "Yeah alright, Traynor. I'll let you buy me a drink on one condition."

"Being?"

"I buy you one too," She told Sam, giving her a challenging look. Sam had never really flirted before, so she managed a smile and nodded.

"Deal." The pair exchanged goodbyes before closing the line. Sam set her Omni-tool aside, suddenly wide awake and grinning from ear to ear. She hopped out of bed with newfound vigor and decided that a hot bath sounded lovely.

* * *

"You know, you're damned lucky you didn't break more than three fingers, Jeff," Dr. Chakwas told Joker in a stern, very motherly voice as she carefully taped his swollen hand. It had turned a lovely shade of violet, paired with splotches of green and yellow over the course of the night before. He'd woken up and figured he'd better have it looked at to make sure he hadn't done too much damage. The last thing he needed was another surgery to go on his record.

Hell, with the Normandy out of commission, he'd probably be lucky if he ever flew again, Star of Terra or not. Not to mention, the thought of flying a silent ship _sucked, _and flying for anyone besides Shepard made him want to punch another wall. He was starting to feel like Garrus; talking constantly about the 'good old days'.

Of course, _he_ didn't have a curvy Quarian to cozy up to at night, the lucky son of a bitch.

"I wasn't really worrying about how many fingers I'd break when I punched the wall," He admitted to Dr. Chakwas, who gave a long sigh, perching on the stool beside the patient table with her arms folded across her chest.

"I am so sorry about Hilary," she told him kindly. "I _know_ how much she meant to you."

"Yeah, well…" He glared at the tiled floor, clenching his jaw.

"But," Chakwas went on, "The fact remains, that you _need_ to take better care of yourself."

Joker groaned, rolling his eyes at her. "You are _such_ a buzzkill."

"Yes," She agreed, smirking, "But as I have never had the privilege of having a child, I've decided that I must torture _you_ in place of that. So, _really…_you're helping _me."_

"You're a horrifying woman, aren't you?" He mused, fighting a grin.

"I do strive to be," she agreed, applying the final bit of tape to his splint. "There we are. All patched up."

"Gorgeous," he retorted dryly, looking at the bulky bandages and tape covering his mangled hand. "Put it on my tab." He eased off of the table, starting toward the door, when he heard her call after him.

"Did Miranda ever get a chance to speak with you?"

Jeff stopped, turning back to face her in confusion. "She had to fly out to Phoenix. Why would the Ice Queen want to talk to _me?_" For a moment, Dr. Chakwas looked like she might not tell him, but the resigned look in her eyes said otherwise.

"It's about a very controversial treatment," the woman explained, clasping her hands together nervously. "For O.I."

"Another 'treatment'—" He made air quotes with his good hand. "—that will make my bones stronger and make me live longer? Yeah, I'm good." He began to turn away again.

"They're saying it's the closest they've come to a cure," Chakwas murmured. He froze in his tracks, unable to think; unwilling to believe that it could be true. Every option he'd ever explored had been a dead end; this would be no different, he was sure.

"The catch?" He prodded, settling his gaze on her face, trying to decipher her thoughts.

She went on, ignoring his remark. "It's similar to a Heavy Bone Weave. The skeleton is reinforced with cybernetic implants, much like the ones you had when you first joined with Cerberus, that helped you to walk without the aid of crutches."

"Karin," All trace of joking was gone from his tone, "the _catch?" _

Dr. Chakwas swallowed hard, looking down at her clasped, calloused hands, silver hair falling around her face. "The catch…" she echoed, "is that the procedure has never been performed on a human with O.I. It's been successfully tested on mice, cats and, most recently, a Chimpanzee."

"But not on humans," Joker winced.

"The _problem_ is that out of numerous attempts, only a few have actually survived this treatment." She swallowed hard. "So, it's hard to gauge how successful it would be on a human. I suppose it would vary from person to person."

"What's the issue? Those odds don't sound great," he pointed out, sinking into a chair with his elbows on his knees.

"I know," she nodded, "the problem with the procedure is that it puts added strain on the bone and body, which can cause the patient to go into cardiac arrest, leading to possible stroke and death."

"Possible meaning _probable_," Joker muttered, shaking his head. "Jesus."

"Do you want my opinion?" Chakwas asked, eyeing him closely. He gave her a rueful grin.

"If I say 'no', will you tell me anyway?"

"Yes," she answered, though she did not smile. "My professional opinion is that I think you _could_ survive it, but my personal opinion is that you shouldn't risk it. It's only just been approved, anything could go wrong—"

"Yeah, but see…you don't know what it's like," he cut her off, holding up his injured hand. "Do you know how sick it would make me when my mother would tiptoe around me? Do you _understand_ how awful it is to watch other people do things I can't?" She opened her mouth to answer, but he stopped her. "_No._ You don't _get_ it. You couldn't. But the thing is, I have nothing left. Mom's gone. Dad. Gunny. _EDI," _He swallowed a painful lump in his throat, "_Fuck."_

"What about Shepard, Jeff?" Dr. Chakwas inquired gently, making him look at her in bemusement.

"What _about_ her?"

"You have her," she pointed out. "Me."

"Shepard has her own shit to deal with," he spat, bitterly. "She's got P.T., she's got Alenko and now she's getting three kids."

"Yes," Chakwas sighed. "I spoke with Miranda last evening. Poor dears."

"Yeah," Joker threw his hands out, "I guess the one kid won't even talk."

"How is she taking Anderson's death?" The doctor's eyes were full of empathy.

"Oh God," Joker shook his head, "She _cried._ I've never seen the woman cry. About _anything…_but she cried."

"In front of you?" Dr. Chakwas sounded incredulous, though also a bit intrigued. None of the crew had ever seen Shepard upset that way.

"More like _on_ me," he grumbled. "I'm shit with a _normal_ crying girl. What the hell was I supposed to do for _Shepard?"_

"Jeff, Shepard _is_ just a girl. She's your age, and she lost her family a lot younger than you did. It's a wonder the poor thing has made it _this_ long without some sort of breakdown."

"But, I mean it's _Shepard…_"

"Yes, it's Shepard," Chakwas agreed, giving him an assessing look. "I'm just saying, I want you to really consider all of your options before you jump into a decision with this procedure. You're…" She put a hand on his shoulder, "You would be missed."

Joker glanced awkwardly down at his feet. "Yeah…well, uh…thanks for telling me about it."

"Of course," she supplied in a soft, melancholy voice. His damned legs couldn't carry him fast enough down the hall and out of the hospital as he sought escape, desperate for a reprieve from reality; from _thinking._

He needed a damn drink.

* * *

Shepard had never been a particularly patient person. Of the three Shepard children, she had been the one who couldn't stand waiting for water to boil or clothes to dry. Ana had been the easy one, skipping through life with a serene, rose-colored view of the world while Blake, the eldest and only son, had been somewhat babied by their mother. It wasn't to the point of blatant favoritism, but it was clear that Hannah Shepard was more protective of her first child; Alex's father had once said that Blake looked very similar to her mother's brother, who had died during childhood in a horrific accident. Whatever the case, Blake had never had to wait for anything in his life.

Not that he'd been spoiled. She and Blake had been extremely close and had gotten along for the most part; it had been her younger, golden-haired sister who she'd spent her days arguing with. The sisters had never seen eye to eye on practically _anything._ Anastasia had preferred dolls and all things pink while Alex had been bookish and responsible. She had never boasted of big dreams; had never really felt the need to go and see the galaxy. The only thing her older brother had ever wanted was to be a soldier for the Alliance. By the age of sixteen, Alex still had no clue what she wanted to do with her life. Her days were filled with homework and farm chores, but she'd begun to feel lost; purposeless. The truth was, she'd been afraid to leave home. She _liked _the safe, boring little life on Mindoir. Everything she'd needed was right within her grasp; her family; friends; books.

Everything changed within moments. One minute she was arguing with her sister about stealing her locket and the next moment, batarians were coming out of nowhere and their father was dragging them through the woods, searching for safety.

_August 22, 2170_

"_Mom!" Alex cried, emptying yet another of her dresser drawers as she searched for her locket. It had been a gift from her father for her sixteenth birthday and she'd taken it off the previous evening to shower. _

"_What is it?" Her mother called back from the kitchen below. Hannah was feverishly cooking for the party that was being held in her brother's honor. He was leaving to begin Alliance training on Arcturus in the morning. _

"_I can't find my locket!" She yelled back, dropping to her knees to check under the bed, though she knew it wouldn't be there. Alex specifically remembered placing it carefully in her jewelry box before going to shower. When she'd gone to retrieve it this morning, it was gone. _

"_Alex," Hannah's voice came from below, "It's your responsibility to take care of your things…I'm sorry I haven't seen it!" _

"_I take care of my things…" Alex muttered, tossing a handful of socks out of her top drawer, "I can't help it when they just…" She stopped, looking up in slow realization as her hands balled into fists. "…_disappear!"

_Leaving her messy room, she bounded out of her bedroom and down the stairs in search of the culprit, passing her mother through the kitchen as she nearly tripped over a leg of the table. _

"_Alex, _please_ be careful!" Her mother begged, wiping at her brow, "I still have to ice that cake." _

"_Where's Ana?" Alex demanded, looking out the window. Her father and brother were standing together in conversation near the barn. _

"_Ana?" Hannah's brows furrowed, "She's in the bathroom getting ready…but why—?" _

_Alex didn't wait for her mother to finish as she stormed down the hall into the bathroom, where her blonde thirteen year old sister stood before the mirror, meticulously applying makeup to her adolescent face. Around her neck sat Alex's locket. _

"_Are you _kidding _me?" She fired at her sister, whose blue eyes slid languidly over to her. "You took my locket!"_

"_Oh my _God,_ Alex," Ana rolled her eyes, "it's not even a big deal. I borrowed your locket. So what?" She admired her reflection. "I think it looks better on me anyway." Ana leaned forward to apply more lip gloss, sending her older sister into a rage. Alex lunged at her younger sister, driven to frustration by Ana's constant invasion of her privacy. _

_Scarcely a day passed that she wasn't taking some of Alex's clothes or shoes, but the locket was too far. It was her most cherished possession; the only piece of jewelry she wore. She'd seen it in a store and had been taken with it. Jewelry had never really appealed to Alex. She didn't even really like to wear a dress, but for some reason, she had seen that locket and had wanted it. On her birthday, her father had surprised her with it. He'd engraved the inside with her initials and birthday, which had made her younger sister jealous. Ana craved attention and praise by their father, almost to the point of competing with her sister. Since the sisters shared the same initials, Ana had become fascinated with it, even begging Alex to let her wear it, but she'd refused. It was the only thing Alex had ever _really _wanted. _

"_Alex, _stop!"_ Ana screamed, pushing at her sister's face and pulling sharply on one long red braid. _

"_You do not get to have," Alex grunted, pushing her sister off of her and pinning her to the ground, "everything you want just because you _want_ it!" Angry tears burned her eyes. "That locket is _mine _you selfish little—"_

"_Alexandra Jane Shepard!" Her mother's furious voice came from the door. The sisters stopped their sparring long enough to see their parents standing in the doorway with grim expressions. Alex turned pleading, watery eyes on her father. _

"_She took my locket!" She explained brokenly, "She didn't ask, she just took it because she's jealous that I got something she didn't."_

"_That does not give you the right to attack her!" Hannah exclaimed, frustrated, "And you're three years older than her. Two wrongs don't make a right." Her eyes turned on her blonde daughter. "And _you, _missy! It is not okay for you to take your sister's things!"_

"_Of _course _you're taking _her _side!" Ana cried, bursting into tears. "She's dad's _favorite!"

"_That's ridiculous, Ana," their father said, reaching out to the girl, who flew past him. "Sweetie…" She stalked out of the house with her father in tow as Alex stared after them, feeling helpless. She looked up into her mother's eyes with tears still streaming down her face. _

"_You should know better," her mother sighed, "Ana is—"_

"_Thirteen, Mom!" Alex sniffed. "She's _thirteen._ Which means she's old enough to know better. That locket is the only thing I own that I really love. I've never asked for anything else."_

"_It's just a necklace, Alex," Hannah told her, grabbing a tissue and wiping gently beneath her eyes, "But, Ana is your sister. And family is more important than a necklace. I know she drives you crazy, but she really does look up to you. Don't you see?" Her mother's voice was kind, "She takes your things because she wants to be just _like _you. I know…my little sister was the same way." _

"_Well, she doesn't have to be such a brat," Alex grumbled, sullenly. Her mother chuckled, helping her to her feet. _

"_She's thirteen, hon," Hannah said dryly, "You weren't much better." She nodded toward the door. "I have to take the turkey out of the oven. Can you go grab them? The guests should be getting here s—" Her mother was cut off as a loud sound interrupted her, shaking the ground. "Oh dear Lord," Hannah sighed, shaking her head, "All we need is a thunder storm…better go get them, Alex." _

_Alex nodded, wiping at her eyes again, before running out the door after her father and sister. The first thing she noticed when she left the house was a giant plume of black smoke, spiraling into the clouds. It was odd, because she'd never seen anything like it. It almost looked like something had—_

_Another loud crack shook the ground, nearly knocking Alex to her knees. Then another. Her eyes widened in fear as her heart began to race. A piercing female scream came from behind her, making her whirl back to face the house. A group of unfamiliar looking people, clad in armor were gathering around her family home, guns in hand. Another scream, followed by a shot. Her pulse thrummed through her veins. _

"_Mom!" She cried, starting forward and being caught around the waist from behind. A large hand covering her mouth and muffling her scream. She thrashed wildly to escape her predator, squirming against the strong arms. _

"_Alex, shh," her father's voice whispered into her ear. "It's me. It's too late," he choked brokenly. A small whimper came from beside him and Alex turned her head slightly to see her sister's blonde head buried against his side. Her father let go of her, pulling her against his other side. She noticed they were both covered in blood and her father had a pistol clutched in one hand. "One of them had Ana. I…took him down." His eyes fell to his blood covered hand holding the gun._

"_Who—" Alex shook her head, "_What _are they?" _

"_Batarians," he told her in a hushed voice, guiding the girls into the woods. "They killed your brother." John swallowed a wrenching sob. "I think they just got your Mama, too. We can't go back there." Ana collapsed into muffled sobs, wetting the side of her father's shirt. Alex felt like she was going to be sick, hunching over and closing her eyes as bile rose in her throat. Her mother and brother were both dead. Ten minutes ago, she'd been fighting with her sister on the bathroom floor. Now, she could barely remember why. _

"_Ana," she panted, reaching for her sister's hand. Red rimmed blue eyes glanced up at her. "I'm sorry." Her face fell. "I'm _so _sorry." _

"_Me too!" Ana agreed, quietly, clutching her hand. _

"_Come on, girls," John instructed, composing himself. "We have to find shelter." Ana clung to their father's side while Alex gripped his left arm, praying for a miracle. She had never felt so useless in her life. _

_The woods were silent, making Alex start and jump at any little noise they heard. Explosions and gunfire continued to rumble the ground. They'd very nearly reached the edge of town when her sister let out a bloodcurdling scream. Alex turned just in time to see three four-eyed batarians moving toward them. They were hideous to her, sneering and foreign looking, like something out of a nightmare. John shoved Alex toward a tree, barking at her to take cover. She stumbled, tripping over a rock when she heard a deafening shot, followed by another scream. _

"_Daddy!" Ana screamed, "No! Dad! _Alex!"_ Alex flew from behind the tree, filled with bravado and adrenaline. Her father was lying hunched on the ground, red rapidly spreading around him and over his clothing; his pistol was lying benignly where he'd dropped it. Without a word, Alex grabbed the pistol and aimed, hitting the batarian dragging her sister in the leg. He let out a wounded scream, loosening his grip on Ana long enough for her to start away. _

"_Grab that one too!" One of the batarians ordered, eyeing Alex hungrily. "Pretty little thing!" Alex held the gun tighter in her hands, glaring at him. _

"_No," another cried, "She's too old! They specifically asked for children!" _

"_Give her back!" Alex ordered, trying to sound intimidating and failing miserably. They laughed at her. The one who had taken Ana from the wounded batarian pressed his gun roughly against the girl's temple. _

"_Tell you what, Princess…I'll let you live! But you take one step closer and you're _both _dead!" _

"_Alex…" Her father moaned from the ground, reaching weakly for the gun as he rose to his feet, clutching his side. He stared helplessly at his younger daughter. "Ana…" _

_Alex stood, rooted to the spot as she stared down the batarian holding a shotgun to her sister's head. She was unable to move as she watched them grow smaller by the second. "Come on," her father rasped. _

_Helplessly, Alex looked up at him, noticing how pale he'd become already, barely able to stand on his feet. She tucked the pistol into the waistband of her pants and put his arm around her, holding him up. "We have to get her back, Dad. I'm going after them once I get you help." _

"_No you aren't," John told her weakly, shaking his head. "You're getting to safety and we'll get the Alliance—" he broke off, crying out in agony as he doubled over. She noticed that he was bleeding from the mouth. _

"_Dad!" She cried, struggling to keep him from falling to the ground. Her father was not a small man. John Shepard was broad and tall, a veritable tower of brawn thanks to years laboring outdoors. "Help us!" She cried, praying someone could hear her. "_Please!" _They emerged from the woods, stumbling together as her father's condition worsened by the second. Her eyes fell on a small group of ATVs parked just outside the town limit. They were being loaded into a hovering starship that bore the Alliance symbol. She continued screaming for help until she saw three silhouetted forms racing toward her. _

_Both she and her father collapsed to the ground as John's legs finally gave out from beneath him and he coughed for air. She knelt beside him, clutching his bloody hand in hers. "Dad…" she pleaded, "Don't do this. You can't die, okay? You can't!" _

"_Alex…" He weakly lifted his hand to cup her cheek. "So…strong…such a good girl." His eyes rolled back slightly. A shadow fell over them as they were joined by a young soldier with dark skin and eyes. _

"_How bad are you hurt?" The officer asked, surveying her father's injuries. _

"_He was shot in the side," Alex told him, feeling numb as she clasped her father's hand; his grip growing weaker every passing moment. _

"_I'm not gonna make it," John told the officer, wincing. He reached for the man's arm blindly. The young man obliged. "Take my little girl. Get her outta here…" _

"_Dad, _no!" _Alex sobbed, shaking her head. "I won't leave you. We have to find Ana…"_

"_We're heading back to Arcturus," The officer told him, eyeing the girl. "I'll see she's safe." _

"_Take care of my girl," John repeated, fading fast as another explosion rocked the ground. _

"_I promise," The officer nodded. "We don't have much time," he said apologetically. Alex remained crouched over her father, holding his hand tightly, as if that could keep him with her. Another blast. The man turned to Alex, offering her his hand. She stared at him in horror. _

"_I can't leave him." _

"_Take her…" John murmured, pleading with blue eyes. Alex shook her head. _

"_Daddy…" Her eyes stung. "_No…"

"_Come on, child," the officer urged gently, glancing back at the hovering starship. "There's nothing left here." Still, she refused, so the soldier took matters into his own hands and physically hauled her small body up into his arms and carried her to the waiting loading dock. _

"_We're clear!" Another soldier cried as they began to rise off of the ground. Alex couldn't tear her eyes off of her father's unmoving form, unable to contain her cries. _

"_No…" She wretched, arms outstretched. "Daddy…" Alex finally surrendered when the dock closed, succumbing to heavy, hiccupping sobs, gripping the arms wrapped around her as she released the grief that had consumed her. He sat with her on the floor of that engineered deck, patiently keeping his arms wrapped around her while she wept for her family; for everything she'd lost. It would be a sight that would haunt her for years to come, seeing the life slowly slip out of her father's eyes as she was hauled away from him forever; watching batarians carry her sister off into the distance and knowing there was nothing she could do to save her. It would lead Alex Shepard to make a vow to herself, that she would never be powerless again. Never again would she stand aside helplessly when wrong was being done. _

_For that moment, however, all Alex could do was to allow the young soldier who had saved her life to comfort her while she cried for her loss. "What's your name, child?" His voice was deep, resonating comfortingly in her ear. _

"_Alex…" She heard herself sigh as her eyes continued to leak, though she'd gone quite numb. _

"_Alex," he echoed, adjusting them so she was sitting between his legs with her cheek resting against his muscular arm. "I'm Commander David Anderson. You're gonna be alright, child…" He took a breath. "You're gonna be _all _right._"

"It's going to be all right, you know," Liara's soothing voice came from behind Shepard as she paced (hobbled) behind the sofa. She shot the asari a desperate look, running a hand through wild red hair.

"What am I thinking, doing this?" Green eyes met blue. "I'm crazy to be bringing these kids here. I'm barely functional and emotionally damaged. The doctors think I have mild P.T.S.D. I'll probably do more harm than good—"

"Shepard, _enough,"_ Liara pressed gently, moving beside her and lacing their fingers together. Alex squeezed her hand, grateful for their friendship. Joker had gone hours before, when she'd tossed him out after noticing that his hand was the color of an eggplant and the size of a small cantaloupe. Idiot. (She hoped he was okay.) "Everything will work out. These children are your family. You're all they have. You'll keep them safe."

"I'm still processing the fact that _you're_ having a kid, Liara," Shepard pointed out dryly, "Now I have three. Kind of a lot to take in."

"If anyone can handle it, you can, Commander," Liara laughed, "I have no doubt you'll keep these children happy and healthy. You've taken care of your crew for years, and they love you. You're a nurturer."

"Geez, thanks," Shepard chuckled. "I should keep you around as my personal ass kisser for a while. I feel like I could go out and save another galaxy."

"Baby steps," Liara reminded her, grinning.

"It was not practical in my cycle to become so friendly with your crew," Javik piped in from his post near the window. "You did not want them to become complacent with you or be lazy. A Commander was to be feared; respected."

Before Shepard could retort, Javik turned yellow eyes on her and added dryly, "You can see how much good that did us." It was the closest thing to a compliment Shepard had ever heard from his mouth, and it was oddly touching. Javik was homesick for a home that no longer existed; for a time he couldn't return to. She'd thought for a moment that he and Liara might be involved when she'd revealed her pregnancy, especially because of his hung over ramblings about her after the party on the Citadel, but Shepard was truly glad it was Feron she'd chosen. It hadn't taken much for her to see they cared for each other when they'd overthrown the Shadow Broker, and Shepard was as indebted to him as she was to Liara for retrieving her body.

The door to the penthouse swished open, causing Shepard to tense, gripping the asari's blue hand in a death grip. She sagged in relief when the lean, slightly hunched form of the pilot walked through the doorway, hat in hand. His right hand was heavily bandaged, with swollen, indigo splotched fingers sticking out of the white gauze. He wore an almost sheepish expression, as if he'd done something wrong, though surprisingly, he didn't comment on it.

"Did a number on yourself, eh?" Shepard cracked, raising a brow at him.

"Look who's talking," Joker returned, "How's that cane treatin' ya, Gimpy?"

"Speak for _yourself,"_ Shepard laughed, watching him limp tiredly to the couch and sink onto it. "You're walking like an old lady who just ran a marathon."

"Perhaps your Commander will allow you to borrow her cane, Helmsman," Javik added, making Shepard grin.

"Have I mentioned that you're my _favorite_ Prothean, Javik?"

Said favorite Prothean rolled his eyes, moving back to his post at the window overlooking the city. It was nothing compared to what it had been before the war, but it was still quite a sight. Skyscrapers rose into the clouds, scattered between buildings. A few wooded areas were visible between them, including a good view of Central Park, which had always been one of her favorite places to visit.

Shepard eased onto the sofa beside Joker, giving him a sidelong grin. His jaw clenched, but he managed to return it, replacing his hat on his head and shadowing his eyes.

"You've been drinking, human," Javik mused nearby, making Joker look up and cringe as if he'd been caught with his hand in the cookie jar.

"Joker, it's eleven in the morning!" She exclaimed, scolding him.

"Relax, _Mom," _he groaned, "It was just a shot to toast Gunny and my dad…Dad and I always did a shot of cinnamon whiskey every time we got together. It was just my way of saying goodbye." His voice broke slightly on the last syllable, convincing her to back down.

"Okay," Shepard said, deciding not to push the subject. Lord knew the man deserved a vice after what he'd been put through the past few days. "I didn't think you were coming back here."

"Honestly, Shep? Neither did I." He sighed, "I was going to stay at the bar and get drunk, but I finished that shot and I just…couldn't."

"I see," she replied, watching him closely. "Because?"

"I don't know." He shrugged helplessly. "I just couldn't, so I left and ended up back here."

"Well, there's food in the kitchen if you're hungry," Liara chimed in, patting his shoulder gently. "Shepard made pancakes this morning."

"Seriously, what the hell, Shep?" Joker asked, turning a mock accusing look on her, "We got stuck eating inedible garbage on the Normandy and you were just sitting up in the Captain's Cabin, knowing how to cook."

"You're right, I should have put 'cook for entire crew' above 'kill death machines'," she quipped dryly, sharing a look with Liara, who smirked.

"No," he countered, "Just 'cook for Joker' would have been fine."

Shepard opened her mouth to fire a come back at him, but she was interrupted by the door opening once more, revealing six people. Kaidan stood at point, with his Omni-tool alight from opening the door, flanked by Miranda and a woman she didn't recognize. Three smaller figures stood behind. Shepard struggled to her feet, accepting the hand Kaidan offered to her and gripping the back of his shirt in her hand.

"Missed you," he said, kissing her forehead.

"You too," she told him honestly, letting her gaze slide to the three kids huddled together just inside the door. The smile left her face. Grasping her cane, she started toward them, taking in their vaguely familiar faces. The tallest, a girl, was by far the most surprising; it was like looking into a mirror of her past. The lanky limbs; light scattering of freckles across her nose; green eyes contrasting with the auburn of her hair. They could have been twins had they been born at the same time. The boy looked a lot like her uncle had with dark hair, though he had the blue eyes of her aunt. The youngest was blonde, with wide blue eyes and pale skin. She was thin and looked more than a little frightened, like a wounded bird. It called to mind Liara's nickname from her parents: Little Wing.

Shepard met the older girl's eyes first, managing what she hoped was an encouraging smile. "Hey," she said, "I'm…" She trailed off, at a loss. For the past sixteen years, she'd been Private Shepard, then Lieutenant and Commander. No one had called her by name in a very long time, but she very well couldn't expect these kids to call her Commander Shepard. "I'm Alex," she finally said, swallowing. "I'm your cousin, I guess."

"You _guess?"_ The redhead snapped moodily, glaring at her. Alex recognized that look; it was the same one she'd worn when she'd lost her family. Her stomach dropped as she realized that this was not going to be easy.

"Okay, yeah that was dumb," Shepard allowed her, shrugging. "I'm your cousin."

"But you're not our mom," the girl retorted, "so don't try to act like you are."

Shepard could only stare at the girl with wide eyes, unsure of how to respond. It wasn't like she could punish her; she barely knew the kid. Not to mention, she was sixteen.

"Alright, take it easy, kid…" The dark haired woman beside Miranda chided. Shepard braced herself, brushing the rebuff aside and decided to try again. Hell, if she'd gotten through to Jack, she could handle _this_ kid.

"Molly, right?" She said, adopting a firmer voice and giving the kid an assessing stare.

"Yeah," the girl's eyes filled with surprise.

"Yeah, I saw you on video chat right after you were born," she noted, remembering gathering around the terminal in the old house on Mindoir with her family and admiring the chubby, flame-haired infant. It was one of her last good memories with her family. "And who are these guys? Haven't met you two…" She glanced down at the little girl clutching the hand of her brother.

"I'm Tyler," the boy said, nodding down at his sister, "She's Cara." He met Shepard's eyes excitedly. "So, you're a Spectre?"

Alex nearly sagged in relief. At least one kid seemed to like her…for now. "Yep," she said, nodding and grinning widely at him.

The boy beamed at her. "That's _awesome."_

"Glad you approve," she chuckled, bending as best she could to face the third child; Cara. "Hi." The child stared at her, blinking, but did not speak. Shepard felt the strangest urge to feed her. It was odd, really, because that had been a trait of her mother's. Hannah had always been trying to feed her kids, laying out treats after dinner; snacks after school.

Oh God. She was becoming her mother.

"She doesn't talk," Tyler explained. "She hasn't since Mom and Dad—"

"Ty!" Molly interrupted angrily. "_Don't."_

"Oh…" Shepard answered, understanding. "Well, uh…" She tossed a look over her shoulder at Kaidan, who stood stoically near Miranda. He gave her an encouraging nod. "Who's hungry?"

"_Me!"_ Tyler answered as if he'd never eaten.

"You _just_ ate breakfast!" Kaidan laughed, moving toward the kitchen to follow him. Molly gave Shepard another suspicious look, before following her brother.

Alex glanced down at the youngest, standing and watching her siblings with a forlorn look on her face. Taking pity on her, Shepard offered her hand to the kid, who stared at it as if it were a foreign object. "You don't have to talk, but you have to eat," Alex told her. Reluctantly, the girl placed her small hand in Shepard's and allowed her to lead the way into the kitchen.

* * *

Tyler was on his third peanut butter and jelly by the time Cara had finished her first, and Kaidan couldn't help but laugh at the vigor with which the boy consumed his food. Shepard, for her part, was doing brilliantly, despite the obvious resentment pouring out of the teenaged girl. She understood better than most what it was like to lose your family.

Kaidan's eyes fell on Miranda, who lingered near the door chatting with Abby. She was watching the children with wistful, happy eyes. He knew she'd have given anything to take them, and he knew she would have been wonderful with him. It was saddening to think that people were still holding grudges against her for her alliance with Cerberus; it was true enough that he had once been guilty of that very offense. She must have noticed him looking at her, because she met his eyes, giving him a small smile and mouthing 'Thank you.' As if he'd done _anything._ It had been all her and Abby's doing.

Kaidan realized, with a touch of alarm, that after the Star of Terra Ceremony next week, he'd hardly see Miranda. She'd told him this morning that she was going to relocate to the Phoenix shelter so that she could keep an eye on Oriana. He suspected there was more to her snap decision, but it wasn't any of his business. Miranda had her life and he had his with Shepard. It was all he'd ever wanted.

Rahna was still in the hospital, recovering from her injuries. Her surgery to repair the damage to her internal organs had been successful, though she would have to stay for a few days. Oriana had volunteered to keep an eye on her for him and keep him apprised of her condition. He'd never expected to see her again. Once, he'd prayed for the chance to speak to her again; to start over. Now, it was just like re-opening old wounds and letting them bleed. It felt unnatural, but he felt like he owed it to Rahna, to prove to her (and perhaps himself) that he wasn't a monster.

"Jesus, that kid can put away food," Joker muttered beside Kaidan, making him chuckle. Jeff Moreau would never change.

"If I recall correctly, I once watched _you_ put away half a slab of ribs, a filet mignon and an entire skewer of jumbo shrimp in one sitting," he pointed out, referring to a shore leave before the attack on the SR-1.

"Well _yeah, _but I'm not five," Joker replied.

"I'm thirteen," Tyler corrected, eyeing the pilot. Kaidan snickered as Joker grinned at the kid.

"I like you, kid," he said, ruffling his hair. "I'm Jeff Moreau and I'm going to teach you everything you need to know about—"

"No, you're not," Shepard inserted, giving him a look and offering the kid a cookie. "Tyler, do _not_ take advice from Jeff." She met Joker's eyes squarely, "_Ever."_ Both Kaidan and Joker laughed as Tyler stared between them in confusion.

"I don't get it," the boy said, shrugging and taking a huge bite out of his cookie.

"Good," Shepard nodded in satisfaction. Kaidan had known for a while that she could cook; she'd told him as much on the Citadel during their last shore leave. What he _hadn't_ expected was how good at it she was. There wasn't much that Shepard _didn't_ excel at. Well, aside from dancing…and driving. Kaidan could never express how relieved he was that they no longer used the Mako (the dancing, he could handle). "So, you're Ashley's sister?" She was saying to Abby, pulling out the milk to pour a glass for Cara. Molly indignantly took the gallon and poured the liquid herself, making Kaidan cringe. It had been clear that Molly was still traumatized by the loss of her parents and was taking it out on everyone else. Tyler seemed to be the most stable of the three, and he'd been dealing with night terrors, so that wasn't saying much.

"Yep," Abby answered Shepard's query, "She talked about you a lot."

"Really?" Shepard sounded surprised, going pale. "I'm so sorry…it's my fault, I—"

"Ashley knew what she was getting herself into enlisting," Abby said, brushing her off, "She was so determined to impress our mother, that she went out of her way to be the best at everything. It was annoying, really," she laughed. "I miss her, but Ashley died doing what she wanted to be doing. And I don't blame you." Shepard looked at Kaidan with a pained expression on her face and he nodded. He knew better than anyone what Ashley's death meant for her; for both of them. Knowing what he did about Ashley's true feelings toward him; he'd never tell her. It was a burden she didn't need.

"How are you handling all of this?" A soft voice asked, drawing Kaidan out of his thoughts. He looked down to his right to see Liara's cerulean eyes smiling up at him and realized he hadn't even had the chance to say hello to her.

"I am so sorry," he groaned, drawing her into a hug and kissing her cheek, "I didn't mean to ignore you!"

"I forgive you," she laughed, patting his arm, "You have a lot on your plate." She nodded toward the three children. Shepard was casually chatting with Abby and Miranda while Molly cleaned up her plate and Cara's taking them to the sink without a word.

"To be honest, Liara, I'm scared to death," Kaidan admitted. "I mean, I've always wanted kids, but it's…a lot…not that I'd ever want to send them away. I would never do that to Shepard. It's just not—"

"How you planned it," she finished for him, understanding. Never had he been so grateful for her keen sense of observation. "I know the feeling." His eyes fell back to meet hers again in surprise.

"You do?"

"Hmm, yes," she gave a low chuckle, "you're not the only one charging head first into parenthood."

"What do you…?" He stopped abruptly, eyes widening. "Liara! Are you…?"

She looked at her feet shyly, nodding. "I am."

"I didn't even know you were seeing anyone," Kaidan confessed, chuckling and putting a congratulatory arm around her.

"Well, I wasn't, _really…_we," she sighed, blushing. "It's a long story."

"One I'd love to hear," he told her, sincerely. "It's been hell without you, T'Soni. I hope living on Mars is worth it."

"We shouldn't be there much longer," Liara murmured, eyeing Javik, who was staring at the children in a form of muted horror. It was almost amusing. "Once the Citadel is finished, I'm going to have to settle down for a while to prepare for her arrival."

"I can't believe how fast it's getting done," Kaidan noted, remembering that it had taken over two years to get it back into working shape before. It had barely been six months since the Reapers had fallen, leaving it in utter ruin.

"It is amazing what we can accomplish when we all work together," Liara agreed, fondly. "I hear that the quarians may be finally regaining their place on the Council."

"Good news," he replied, thinking of Tali. "So, who's the lucky man…" He remembered that they'd once both been vying for Shepard's affections, "…or woman?" Kaidan remedied, wincing.

"His name is Feron," Liara explained calmly, "He is a drell and he's been working for me. He is the reason I was able to recover Shepard's body from the Collectors."

"Then I approve immediately," he assured her.

"Thank you, Kaidan," she told him genuinely. "That means a great deal coming from…" Liara wavered slightly on her feet. He caught her before she could fall backward, catching the attention of the others in the kitchen. "I should probably lie down…"

"No kidding," Kaidan sighed, carrying her out of the kitchen and sharing a look with Shepard, who followed them.

"She hasn't been sleeping well," Alex explained.

"I'm perfectly fine," Liara insisted, though her eyes were closing quickly.

"She's not," Shepard countered, smirking and shaking her head. "She _is_ stubborn, however."

After the asari was safely settled in one of the guest bedrooms, Kaidan closed the door behind him thinking with a touch of amusement that he could make a career out of carrying overly tired women to bed, before returning to the crowded kitchenand colliding with the lithe form of Miranda, catching her around the waist. They met eyes for a brief second, making Kaidan feel a twinge of unbidden guilt. He set her to rights and quickly returned to Shepard's side, pulling her into his arms and kissing her full on the lips to a resounding chorus of 'ew' (Tyler) and 'get a room' (Joker _and_ Abby). When he pulled back, Shepard was smiling, but Kaidan wasn't. In fact, he felt slightly sick to his stomach.

It felt wrong.

* * *

"_Well, well, well…" A deep, rasping voice came from the darkness as Liara stepped into the room, holding her gun with biotics at the ready. "Dr. T'Soni, I've been expecting you." _

"_Where is Feron?" She demanded to know, "What have you done with him? You're supposed to be dead!" The Shadow Broker laughed, a horrifying sight as his huge, triangular mouth opened to reveal too many sharp teeth to count. _

"_Silly little asari bitch, did you really think it would be _that _easy to throw aside the Shadow Broker?" The yahg moved toward her, a dank odor emanating from his hulking, beastly form. She backed away instinctively, fervently wishing Shepard had come with her again. "Your little friend didn't come this time I see…" he continued menacingly. "Too bad, I would have liked to have a little fun with both of you before I kill you…_slowly…"

"_Let Feron _go!"_ She screeched, glaring up at him. _

"_I would, Dr. T'Soni," he countered, "However…I am not holding him hostage. He was merely the bait to lure you here so I could deal with you accordingly."_

"_What do you m—?" Her words fell short as the lean form of a colorful drell stepped from the shadows with a lazy smirk on his handsome face. "Feron!" The distraction was enough time for the Shadow Broker's henchman to flank her. Liara pulled the trigger of her gun, only to realize that it was not loaded. It was snatched out of her hand. She attempted to send a biotic throw in the mercs' direction, but nothing happened. She was caught, with mercs on every side of her. She met Feron's eyes, pleading silently for him to help her. The smile never left his face. _

"_Sorry, Arashu," he said in the same cocky tone he'd used the first time they'd met, "it's just business. Nothing personal."_

"_B-But you love me…you said you l-loved me," she stammered, eyes welling with tears. _

_Feron grinned slowly, lowering his voice, "I lied…" _

Liara awoke in total darkness, jolting awake. A faint blue aura surrounded her, flaring from her tired body, but she was safe. It was only a dream. She wasn't alone, she realized, with a touch of shock. Her body was cradled along the length of another warm body with her head resting against lean muscles. She sat up suddenly, disoriented by her intruder and was rewarded with a telling smirk.

"Feron!" She cried, trying to catch her breath, still reeling from her nightmare. "Goddess, you should have _woke_ me!"

"I didn't have the heart," he laughed, reaching for her. "I only arrived a short while ago." At her questioning look, he added, "I decided to come early. I left after we spoke the other night and flew as fast as I could to get here. Glitch is safe and sound in the other room."

"His name is _Glyph,"_ Liara sighed, though she could not contain the smile on her face as he pulled her into his lap. "Don't leave me again," she sighed into the crook of his neck, nuzzling her nose against his jaw.

"Bad dream?" He guessed, holding her tighter. She nodded, swallowing and trying to forget it.

"We were back in the Shadow Broker's lair and you…" She sniffed, blinking back unbidden tears, "You betrayed me. You gave me to him."

"Liara…" His hoarse voice was soothing, "I could _never._ I owe _everything _to you. You saved me. I am yours completely."

"Promise?"

"By Amonkira, Lord of Hunters and the Goddesses Arashu and Kalahira, I swear it," he replied easily, kissing her temple. His hand brushed over the barely curved swell of her abdomen. "How are you feeling today, _Arashu_?"

"Much better now that you've arrived," Liara chuckled, "It's been too long since we've shared a bed."

Feron gave her a wicked grin. "I've corrupted you." A gravelly laugh rumbled in his throat. "I'm glad."

"The Citadel is almost finished," she told him, placing her hand over his. "I've already placed a deposit on an apartment for us there," she told him, afraid to look into his eyes. "If that's alright with you."

"Well, we certainly can't raise her on Kahje," Feron pointed out, "Or Thessia. I think the Citadel is as good a place as any."

"I'm glad you think so," Liara sighed in relief, letting him cradle her exhausted body. His hand ghosted over her back, fingers kneading the tense muscles beneath blue skin.

"Speaking of Kahje," Feron began, all teasing disappearing from his tone, "I have some news from an old contact there."

"Oh?" Liara was intrigued.

"In the Prothean ruins at the bottom of the ocean, the hanar who maintain it found something…something must have set off a trigger," he explained, making her senses prickle with wonder. "They've unearthed what appears to be a tomb of sorts. A chamber housing three or four pods."

"Pods?" Her eyes widened at the implications.

Feron affirmed this with a nod. "All still functioning…there were signs of life within."

"Are you saying that…" she trailed off with a gasp. "Javik may not be the last Prothean?"

"Yes," Feron confirmed. "That's exactly what I'm saying. When I was on Ilos, I found an encrypted piece of data, which I sent to my friend on Kahje; a coding expert. He realized it appeared to be a log containing information about various stasis pod locations. It is unlikely that the others have survived, but the ones on Kahje appear to be untouched. He scanned for organic energy signatures with success."

"Goddess!" Liara's head was spinning. "We must go!"

"No, _you_ mustn't," Feron's voice rumbled as he traced the line of her jaw with a fingertip. "You have no business being on the bottom of the Kahje ocean. The pressure alone is bad for pregnancy, and—"

"You cannot expect me to sit here and twiddle my thumbs while you and Javik—"

"Arashu," Feron began, "I would never dare to dictate _anything_ to you. In fact, I quite hope you'll accompany us to Kahje. But, as your bondmate; as the father of _this_ child—" He splayed his fingers over her slightly rounded stomach, "I must beg that you agree _not_ to go below the surface of the ocean. The gravity is stronger. The pods will be brought to the surface."

"I'll agree on one condition," Liara told him vehemently.

"Of course you will," he muttered, though he was smiling.

"I will wait above the surface so long as you stay with me," she offered. "_And_ so long as I have your word that no pods will be opened without me."

"Javik has already demanded as much," Feron groaned. "That Prothean really is fond of you."

Liara smiled, despite herself. "Bless him."

* * *

**Sorry for the wait. Thanks for reading and bearing with it, friends. **


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